autistic. that had been the diagnoses. she thought things in images, overshared information with people she had just met, was too trusting of anyone, despite her past. people told her that she would never live a normal life. that since she was anything but a normal kid, she would end up in a group home, on social security deposit, rotting her life away.
she proved them wrong, all right. she had a stable job at a bakery, and although she often splurged a bit too much to be natural, she ended the day with a grin. the days when the sensory input was too much and she felt she was going to explode, she told her boss, who was ever accepting of her explanation, and went on her way back home, crying until the noises no one else could hear but he sensitive ears stopped.
when she found out she was really into video games, she talked nonstop about it to people she thought she could trust. eventually they got to be annoyed by her always talking about a video game of some sort, and thus they were friends no more.
special interests, her docter explained, were a large category with smaller subcategories in which you focused on. they were a great coping skill, and they served to calm her down. when someone shut her down from talking about them or using her special interest, she would implode in on herself. at least, thats what he said, and what she experienced.
sometimes when she was really happy she would flap her hands. she didn’t know why she did it. someone on the internet who was also autistic called it stimming, the act of coping though physical activities you could do at any time.
she liked pressure, being hugged tightly was a really nice thing. she couldn’t touch fleece because it physically hurt her. she learned things later in life than other people, but she was still perfectly fine.
when the other people threw the r slur at her like a bullet wounding her, she didn’t cry. she endured, like she always had. she would let the pain build up, and when she got home on one special day, she would scream into the pillow in her room, stabbing forks into the walls as she tried to let it all out.
the next day, she was happy bubbly lila again.
jbbartram-illu
dededos
2087
blakekathryn
origamiaround
snowghoul
turnnoffyourmind
discoholicmusic