Sunny The Poet

Baltimore youth poet. ☀️✊🏾☮️ they/them pronouns.

[sunnythepxet]

I Wish I Believed In Y'all's God,

cause maybe then i wouldn't be hungry

feeling like im begging on the street

for spare change from my loved ones

maybe i wouldn't have to worry about

paying for school and bettering myself

so i can survive in a world

that clearly don't love me back but

maybe if i believed in yalls god?

i wouldn't have to worry about a world

that don't love me cause

i would know for SURE i got a home

after all this hell but

i can't bring my faith and belief system to

coexist

it's like theyre in constant battle

and my mind?

goes right into denial like

if there is yalls god

why we out here suffering?

like why we on these streets

painting it red like the wine yalls brother

supposedly drank for us in memory of him

or maybe it's the same shit he shed

in order to liberate us from sin but

i don't know, cause

i feel like my whole damn existence

is an act of rebellion against yalls god.

like i'm supposed to be

crisp and proper under a corrupt life

i ain't really choose to live and

if i did choose to return this gift with

the receipts of me trying to live properly

boom, damnation

cause after all this

damn nation had me believing

this gift was really mine with the

freedom

to do

whatever the fuck i wanted with it but

i guess not... according to yalls god,

all this suffering shouldn't be in vain

yet here i am

suffering unfathomable pain and

i look back to where i was oblivious to the real world and i wanna tell myself

"shit ain't the same" but

i honestly wish i was back there

living life happily

not worrying about what might happen to me

like if i don't starve

i rot in the summer sun or

if i don't rot,

i suffer and to be greatly honest

this shit all seems like fun

to yalls god

but.

i wish i believed.

cause maybe then

this life wouldn't hurt so bad and

my heart wouldn't feel so heavy and

maybe the blood of jesus wouldn't be

calling my name every time

i wanna open these veins.

[sunnythepxet]

fuck poetry.

i been relying on it to cope

for so long now

i feel like it used to be a crutch

the only thing keeping me from

falling to my knees but

fuck poetry.

who needs it when we have amphetamines

to take away the pain to

help me forget

or... remember i-

don't remember-

but

i mean come on.

would you still write poetry to remember when

you could easily just forget?

get drifted away on clouds and dust-

fuck.

poetry:

ain't never did nothing for me.

it was only there on sleepless nights to

taunt me more than i needed

permanently marking what i thought

would have been the end for me

or

making me rewrite parts of me

i mean

i get it.

the rhythm and rhyme radiates and resonates

within rib cages and

rings like remarkably beautiful melodies

but the repetition reminds me of

ravaging red auras and it repulses me so

fuck poetry.

fuck rhymes.

fuck the warmth that builds within my chest

whenever someone spits something that

makes me go "mmmm"-

i can't take it.

i renounce it.

and i shall

repeat

repeat

repeat

this sentiment

until maybe

just maybe

i

don't

feel so

renounce d

by

it

anymore

[sunnythepxet]

welp

i'm just logging in after over a year, hello!

[sunnythepxet]

Being Black and Gay

Being Black and Gay is

like a death wish except

i never asked to be either.

i never asked to be born

directly under the feet of my oppressors

be born the same color as the

dirt everyone walks all over

i am at the bottom of the ladder

the very last rung

i am not worthy

in the eyes of my society

my gayness is a weapon to

“force” everyone who is

even slightly feminine

in bed with me

society sees my gayness as

some kind of curse–

some girl MUST have done this to me

some

WHITE girl–

cause remember,

only WHITE PEOPLE can be gay.

In the black community

i am freely called

a dyke

a faggot a

tranny a

“-insert homophobic slur here-”

all i am

to my people

is a slur

a

product of some

unfortunate event

because

God forbid

a WOMAN treat me better than some

sexist

racist

misogynistic male who

only wants me for my vagina

God forbid there

be a woman in this world who

has a vagina but

not for any MAN’S pleasure

God forbid

there be a woman in this world

without a vagina

a uterus and

how DARE she even bother calling

herself a woman.

And let us not forget

being in the LGBTQ+ community

means sunshine and rainbows

ya know

the arc of color

except of course

for

my brown skin

it’s seen as soot.

it’s

seen as unfit as

unclean I

do not represent

what it means to be a

trans lesbian

in their eyes

you see

revolution to them is

seeing two cis white men

kissing and loving and

revolution to me is

seeing a black girl

even remotely displaying

any sense of homosexuality

you will not find people like me

on tv

not if i’m just living my life normally

no

my whole story line has to revolve around

my sexuality see…

i can’t bring myself to say i

feel like i belong i

know i am black and

i know i gay and

i know with each passing day

people like me fade away

in the background

in the shadows

where we’re told we belong.

we are taboo.

there is no such talk of

Black Nonbinary Lesbians

in this world

all i am is a joke or

rather a punchline to a joke

i never asked to be a part of

they see me as an oddity

their favorite question is

[sunnythepxet]

"what's in your pants?" and

when i tell them i was never a man

nor do i want to be a man

it's like it goes through one ear

and out the other it's like

my voice cannot be heard over

decades of oppression over

decades of erasure over

decades of ignorance

passed down

generation after generation

until my face is unrecognizable

to the ones i love.

my kind does not exist.

i feel like i cannot coexist being

black and gay

it's almost as if

it is a death wish.

i never asked to be

either but

i wouldn't change either for the world.

[sunnythepxet]

Being Black and Gay

Being Black and Gay is

like a death wish except

i never asked to be either.

i never asked to be born

directly under the feet of my oppressors

be born the same color as the

dirt everyone walks all over

i am at the bottom of the ladder

the very last rung

i am not worthy

in the eyes of my society

my gayness is a weapon to

"force" everyone who is

even slightly feminine

in bed with me

society sees my gayness as

some kind of curse–

some girl MUST have done this to me

some

WHITE girl–

cause remember,

only WHITE PEOPLE can be gay.

In the black community

i am freely called

a dyke

a faggot a

tranny a

"-insert homophobic slur here-"

all i am

to my people

is a slur

a

product of some

unfortunate event

because

God forbid

a WOMAN treat me better than some

sexist

racist

misogynistic male who

only wants me for my vagina

God forbid there

be a woman in this world who

has a vagina but

not for any MAN'S pleasure

God forbid

there be a woman in this world

without a vagina

a uterus and

how DARE she even bother calling

herself a woman.

And let us not forget

being in the LGBTQ+ community

means sunshine and rainbows

ya know

the arc of color

except of course

for

my brown skin

it's seen as soot.

it's

seen as unfit as

unclean I

do not represent

what it means to be a

trans lesbian

in their eyes

you see

revolution to them is

seeing two cis white men

kissing and loving and

revolution to me is

seeing a black girl

even remotely displaying

any sense of homosexuality

you will not find people like me

on tv

not if i'm just living my life normally

no

my whole story line has to revolve around

my sexuality see...

i can't bring myself to say i

feel like i belong i

know i am black and

i know i gay and

i know with each passing day

people like me fade away

in the background

in the shadows

where we're told we belong.

we are taboo.

there is no such talk of

Black Nonbinary Lesbians

in this world

all i am is a joke or

rather a punchline to a joke

i never asked to be a part of

they see me as an oddity

their favorite question is

[sunnythepxet]

i wish i was a poet.

i wish i was a poet.

i wish i could

make my words come alive

like the spoken word is supposed to

i wish i could

tell my story without

being the only one

feeling the pain behind it

i wish

i was a poet.

see

i can't make you believe

the words i'm sayin

i'm not a preacher and

this surely ain't church but

to me

poetry

is gospel and

gospel must be sung

perfectly to

get the right feelings to

get the right message across that

somebody loves you.

'cept i don't write love poems

'cause

i don't write poetry

'cause

i am not a poet

just someone in pain

telling you about it

rhythmically

i physically cannot

bring myself

to write poetry

there ain't

nothing else to write

it's like

when my tear ducts dry up

so does the ink in my pen

my words are only

my watered-down trauma

because no one will ever know

what's really happening in here

and what's constantly running

up here

and i would never even

wish that upon

my worst enemy

anyway

i would never wish that you could

see all this pain and agony

see the hell i live through

crippling me and

dare to call it

poetry

i am not a poet.

but i sure as hell wish i was.

[sunnythepxet]

Hey!

I haven't been on this page for a hot second 😬 sorry about that! but i'll try my best to keep this updated! also i changed my user to sunnythepxet because i think that's gonna he my name now 😁 stay tuned for big things!

[sunnythepxet]

J The Poet turned 2 today!

[sunnythepxet]

J The Poet turned 2 today!

[sunnythepxet]

Hi, my name is Maia. I’m 16 years old and my favorite colors are blue, purple, black and white. when I was younger I wanted to be a pop star but now I’m a star that’s about to pop or explode or collapse within themself- my favorite breakfast food is belgium waffles. I like when the sky has an array of colors and has clouds that stretch for miles and can be scattered around like an artist placed them there just right. in fact if I could escape anywhere it would be there in the clouds with the stars see I’m always looking for an escape. escape from reality from the inner workings of my mind the inner workings of myself. you know, I think I am broken. I think that with every step I take I break something in an alternate reality one at which I am not able to grasp because if I could I would fix all the mistakes I’ve made I’d heal all the wounds I have caused. I can’t stand being alone with myself. I’m always looking for someone to take me out of my head to show me their alternate universe instead because for some reason everyone else has a better grasp of theirs than I do mine. and I fall in a trance in their universe instead. I fall in love with their thoughts. I could sit and hear them talk all day so instead of the sky I take shelter in their mind so you can only imagine how broken I become when they slowly slip away leaving me in the dark leaving me curled into myself collapsing into myself like at the end of a star’s life. I am not able to understand what I am or what I have become over the years and thus I am not able to warn others efficiently. so instead I use warnings like “caution: fragile and broken, handle with care” “warning: hard to manage” “This is complicated material, discretion advised” “Sensitive material, initiate conversation to continue at your own risk-” talking to me is like taking a risk. you never know how I’ll react you’ll never be able to fathom the mess that somehow manages to leave my mouth before registering in my mind and I am able stop myself. it’s hard. I don’t know why I’m the way I am or how I’ve came to be this way this complicated mess made of 1 part anxiety 2 parts depression 3 parts abandonment issues and 4 parts broken. left for others to deal with. and it’s taking me 1 year to learn to cope 2 years to use those coping skills 3 years to grow and 4 years and counting to make a difference with this intricate mess I’ve become but at least I’m not a zombie anymore. at one point I had nothing to live for nothing to make me smile nothing to make me stay for a while I want someone to stay for a while. I am afraid of change. Every so often there is something new something else to alter this crazy reality I’m trying to get used to but I can’t catch up. so instead I panic and break down and since I can’t escape to the cloud or anyone else’s thoughts I escape to my own. the ones telling me that I’ve nothing to live for that I can’t keep getting attached so quickly because soon they’ll be tired. tired of dealing with this mess that I can’t quite clean up. that I’ve gotta keep up before everyone leaves me behind to suffer for myself so I keep trying but every time I try something new comes and stifles me all over again. I was hesitant in writing this because even after getting all this down I’m still left with a bunch of questions unanswered and no one to answer them for me I’m left with much more things to say but I am unable to articulate them in such a way where even I can understand so here’s what I’ll say: I am a broken person. there are too many pieces to put me back together but I try anyway. I never expected anyone else to help me but I always appreciate when they do and it’s not easy dealing with me. There’s always something wrong but I’m trying. so instead of being a collapsed-in star I can be something useful and I’ll get there one day I’ll get there someday.

[poetashleytierramg-blog]

About Me

I am a poet , this is my fan page, you don’t know me yet but you will!!!

My goal is my glory.

[skygxzing]

My sister, Jae, would be a college junior at Howard University this year except… she lacks the money. My mother is no longer here and she has no other way to gain funds so she was left with the only option of making this go fund me. I know these can be a little annoying but it would mean more than the world to me if you could even just reblog this post. Every penny helps and I just want my big sister to be happy and get the education I know my mom would have wanted her to have. Thank you so much for reading, please please reblog if not anything else. I really appreciate and love you all. ❤️

[sunnythepxet]

Black Princess:

See how your skin glows even when there’s no light to reflect off of it you’re a jewel a special one of a kind treasure– don’t you dare change an inch of you. The world needs all of the kinks and curls in your hair that they claim to be voodoo needs your beautiful melanin skin that they envy… they need your black girl magic. Black Princess, see all the challenges in the world that are reserved just for you, don’t let them defeat you. they are made to stump you make you fall make sure you never to stand on two feet ever again Black Princess, times may be rough since the queen is no longer in the kingdom but you’re growing up just fine and I’m sure she would be so proud of you. You are just like her, princess wise, kind, gentle, caring hold on to these things you know all too well the world is a cruel and viscous place it needs more people like you in it. Black Princess, never forget that you’re strong you’re amazing you’re intelligent you’re beautiful never forget that the enemy can never take those things away from you can never take the passion that burns in your heart no matter how hard they try for you’re resilient capable of withstanding any danger that comes your way Black Princess, I hope you’re receiving this love I’m sending your way remember when times are tough you have to tell yourself “this too shall pass” and you have to remember that you’re not alone on this journey one day you will grow up to be a magnificent queen with a strong ruler by your side you will be able to look back and say you have made it and I hope you’re the world’s greatest queen Black Princess, this is an ode to you, stay strong, stay beautiful, stay a black princess.

[sunnythepxet]

Hey friends! I see that many of you liked this poem very much and I do whole-heartedly appreciate it! I originally wrote it for my twin sisters’ birthday back in May because I lacked funds to give them a gift. If you loved it as much as they did maybe you wouldn’t mind help donating to one of their college funds? Jae would be a college Junior as of August but due to the lack of money she might not be… If you could reblog this http://skygxzing.tumblr.com/post/146705655060/guys-i-need-your-help and/or the original post that would be fantastic. Also if you could donate even a dollar that would be wonderful! I really really appreciate you all and all you’ve done, thank you. ❤️

[kumagawa]

[bethandroid]

This is actually really, really important to me. My little brother is 13 and he just got Overwatch. He’s played online games in the past such as Counter Strike, TF2, and others, and I ALWAYS worry about someone being mean to him. He’s really sensitive and takes people’s words to heart really easily. Please, before you get mad at someone in a game, consider that you might be playing with a child. In fact, don’t be mean to anyone in a game. Everyone has different learning levels and play styles, just take the time to relax and enjoy the game.

[starcades]

i never thought of this before shit

[sunnythepxet]

Dear Quaterrius Manuel,

Hey, look! Your name has a red line under it. Do you know what that means? That just by that information large businesses and corporations can already discriminate against you they already figured out your race your gender your back story and what you are worth to their company. And you can most definitely argue that what they conclude is not true… That does not matter. You are a black male in America. Almost everyone is your enemy yet you decide to use your black excellence to sympathize with people who will not give a damn about you after they are through with using you. You decide to stand behind the most racist sexist homophobic transphobic xenophobic convoluted man to ever run for office in this country. I do not even believe you know The Struggle™. Judging by the fact you’re a member of the “Atlanta Junior Golf Association” and the fact that your former Twitter @ was @RichProblems_____ I honestly don’t believe you would know struggle if it we’re right in front of you. But to us it is very very real. Quaterrius. I’m not sure you understand but the state of the world lies in our generation’s hands and the state of our race… that is the African American race lies in our generation’s hands. So for you to be oblivious and ignorant to the fact that our fellow brothers and sisters and siblings be them gay be them Muslim be them trans are actively getting killed everyday unjustifiably are actively getting killed by this disgusting thing we love to think is the justice system is not an option…Quaterrius. Your name has a red line under it. You don’t seem to realize that just based off of that This system is determined to take you out next. They will not give a damn about you after they are through using you. That separating yourself from the black community will do you more harm than you honestly want to believe. take this poem as an invitation to walk down the path you’re truly meant to be on. I just want to get through to you.

[blue-le-q]

Things come along like this that make the internet so special, I AM IN FUCKING TEARS

[unsubferret1]

@chamomilehime

Me and you when we see each other

[robotsandfrippary]

THAT LAST WINK.

[missmonstermel]

This chick’s face is marvelous

[karasumurasaki]

@ink-and-roses

[ink-and-roses]

Holy cow

[thingsfacebookislike]

I need 10 minutes of this

[druffalocub-deactivated20181123]

i live for this

[abrahadabra66-deactivated201608]

Always enjoy seeing this haha

[sunnythepxet]

Me: *tells people its okay to let it out*

Me: *bottles up all my emotions and is essentially dead inside*