purple skies.

[biologybutch]

me: *is bored for 0.5 seconds*

me: i wanna learn how to work wood. i need to build a boat

[hotboyproblems]

i really don’t want to get out of bed i just want to sleep for a couple of days

[7ae-deactivated20140920]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[bepeu-deactivated20171202]

things to take * a nap * it easy * care

[tinsnip]

* on me

[brinnanza]

* me on

[valtsv]

[feistiest]

me: lmao who needs a partner i’m alone but i’m not lonely bitch, i live fine by my fucking self bitch! play that hailee steinfeld song!

me after watching a one (1) good rom-com:

[themorningrarchive-deactivated2]

[hydro-homies]

SHES GONNA BUY IT

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[crazydiamonds]

[catchymemes]

[anotherpapercut]

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

[anotherpapercut]

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

[beka-tiddalik]

David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”

David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”

[just-shower-thoughts]

Every time you roll your ankle, you are rolling a joint.

[thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001]

HELL WORLD OH MY GOD

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

FBI is really just straight up developing Trojan horse apps now

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

[bumbleshark]

pickup line: wanna watch this murder documentary with me?

[ntp18]

[c3po]

what's your type?

type of what

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

Blood

[c3po]

oh red