SunshineTroop

[tonkinators]

[cloversdesign]

✨ please if you save/use like or reblog.

[797979797979797-deactivated2025]

[locksju5tin]

Justin Bieber lookscreen.

“Heart” If you saved at least some photo.

[drewrhodejh]

like or reblog

[geekdawson]

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

[reverthelp]

When you correct a fool, he will hate you. When you correct a wise man, he will appreciate you.

Imam ash-Shafi (rahimullah)

[astrolocherry]

[thegoodvybe]

[islamic-art-and-quotes]

Hi. There was something that I've been working very hard to achieve. In fact I've spent a few years of my life, sincerely working hard for it. When the time came, I didn't get that thing. In fact I keep getting hurt more and more and it seems as if all doors are closed. I feel like all my hard work went down the drain. Everytime I heal and try to make peace with my situation, I fall down again and again, like a never-ending cycle. (Continued...)

Hello,

I did not find the second part of your question, maybe it failed to submit. But to answer the question as it is: that is an experience that many of us have had. There is no help for it but to submit to God’s decree, knowing that He is in charge and that we are not in charge.

Always keep in mind that God is in charge and that He can give you the greatest success in an instant if He wanted. Ask yourself why He does not do that. The answer is that God has no need for us or our works. Whatever we hope to achieve, He can achieve it without our help. This teaches us that we should not be attached to achievements, but to God. We must re-orient ourselves toward Him, asking Him to help us have useful and productive lives, and accepting whatever happens to us as His decrees. We have not truly understood God until we are fully content with His decrees: rather than thinking we deserve better or that this should not be happening to us, we must learn to fully submit, knowing that God is in charge and that nothing escapes Him.

Once you realize that God is the source of all good things and all blessings, you will stop being attached to achievements, knowing that achievements are nothing but a gift from Him that He gives when He wants. It is God who should be first in our minds; we cannot achieve anything unless He allows it, and if He does not allow it, there is nothing in this world that can help us achieve it. So keep going back to God, stop rejecting your situation and instead accept it, knowing that God can end it and replace it with something better whenever He wants.

This does not mean that you should stop your efforts. We are God’s agents on Earth and we have work to do. But rather than being attached to results, we must be attached to God and let Him take care of the results. Whether we fail or succeed does not matter; what matters is for God to be pleased with us.

For more please see my essays below:

The Road to Maturity: On Dealing with Life’s Unsolvable Problems

God has not abandoned you: Regaining your sense of purpose when life feels spiritually empty, lonely and meaningless

[d-entelle]

[4am-reflections]

bits and pieces of what we once were #4// 4am

[julaibib]

[adrenaline]

by Dea Underflow

[latenights]

Happiness doesn’t start with a relationship, a degree, a job or even money. It starts with your thoughts and what you tell yourself everyday

[shoppingstars]

for insecure angels

your partner still loves you even when they are away.

your friends still loves you even when they are away.

they will sill love you even if they have other friends.

they weill still love you even if you are not okay.

they will still love you even if they don’t reply immediately.

they will still love you even if you don’t reply them immediately.

they will still love you even if they can’t talk in a exact moment.

they will still love you even they are not around you 24/7.

they will still love you even if you don’t love some things about yourself.

“they are not replying!”

MAYBE

they fell asleep.

they are busy.

they don’t feel okay to talk right now.

they had to immediately leave for some reason.

they are studying.

they are working.

they are practicing a hobby.

they forgot to reply by distraction.

THEY STILL LOVE YOU.

“they are distant!”

MAYBE

they are going through a hard time.

they are hurt by something you said or did (don’t get paranoid because of it, try to talk to them).

they are very busy with work or studies.

they are planning something good for you.

THEY STILL LOVE YOU.

“i made a mistake and hurt them.” you can always apologize! everyone makes mistakes.

“they made a mistake and hurt me.” tell your feelings to them.

“they will leave me, i know it.” check if it’s not your paranoid thoughts acting out and tell your feelings to them, we can’t be 100% sure if someone will abandon us.

“they have someone better in their lives.” i personally don’t believe in “someone better”, because we all have good and bad aspects, but it doesn’t even matter if they have someone better, because they are with you because they like you and not because of someone else or whatever.

“i’m not enough.” YOU ARE ENOUGH FOR THEM. THEY LOVE YOU.

“i’m ugly.” YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR THEM. THEY LOVE YOU.

- Everything I said relates to healthy relationships only. I don’t support abusive relationships and please take care of yourself and look for help if you are being abused.

[leedleleedleleedleleedlelee]

I want to go home. But I am home. I think what I’m saying is I’m lonely.