Craig Tucker

Hi. I'm Craig Tucker, I'm 10 years old and I live in South Park, Colorado. I have a pet guinea pig named Stripe and this is my Tumblr

[super-craig10]

*Drow Elves Ambush Koopa Keep*

Cartman: Butters you’re losing! Stop losing!

Butters: But I don’t wanna make em feel bad!

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“How do you hate the internet? That’s like hating titties.”

-Cartman

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But to be honest, I’d rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy goth kid

Butters Stotch

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Did she step on your heart with stiletto shoes?

Henrietta

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Metrosexual

Cartman: You wish you were gay Craig, in your dreams!

Craig: I'm not just gay! I'm a catamite!

(Pause)

Cartman: ...So I'm half bisexual!

Mr. Garrison: Oh, stop it! You kids don't even know what you're talking about! Eric, you're not half-bi!

Cartman: I'm like, a quarter bi. My grandpa was bi so that makes me a quarter bi.

[super-craig10]

GOD I HATE CRAIG GIAHHH

Eric Cartman

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GOD DAMMIT I HAVE FUCKING AUTHORITAH!

Eric Cartman

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He's nothing without you! Just walk away.

Kyle Broflovski

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You're fighting for a tyrant but I know there's still good in you

Kyle Broflovski

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I'll make you eat your parents!

Eric Cartman

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Can we get rid of all the Mexicans?

Mr. Garrison

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I'm not fat I'm festively plumb!

Eric Cartman

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Cartman: Craig, what the hell are you doing home?! You’re supposed to be out fighting Tweek! Me: Red Racer’s on. Cartman: Craig, you can watch Red Racer any day of the week! Me: I do watch Red Racer every day of the week. Cartman: Well, that’s fine. I guess you don’t care about what Tweek said about your mom… Me: Nope (slams door) Cartman: Egh! God dammit. (Knocks again and I open the door) Well, I guess you don’t care about what Tweek said about your guinea pig Me: What?! What did he say about Stripe?! Cartman: Oh, nothing, except that you stick it up your ass before you go to bed. Me: That son of a bitch! I’ll kill him!

[super-craig10]

You Wanna Shove A Firecracker Where?

Cartman: Aye!, If you so much as TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants!

Stan: Jesus, Cartman!

Cartman: Well, I'm just sayn', man, seriously, don't mess with kitty, man.

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You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!

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She didn’t talk much, but boy, did she swallow! I had a nice lance that she sat upon, the maiden from Stonebury, who is also your mom!

[super-craig10]

You Had One Goddamn Job

(The Stick Of Truth has been taken by the elves)

Cartman: Nananananana we still control the universe! Hahahahahaha!

Clyde: It's gone

Cartman: What?

Clyde: The Stick of Truth. The elves got it.

(long pause)

Cartman: THAT WAS YOUR ONE GODDAMN JOB, CLYDE! TO GUARD THE STICK OF FUCKING TRUTH! (Pause) Clyde, you are hereby banished from space and time!