The bones want what they want.
make my flesh tremble with desire—
My bones, in the middle, in the center of me.
So true, so violent and fervent.
I know, I hear you, I listen always
through the noise, through the music.
if I never leave the house without my headphones on.
if I coat my body in cigarette smoke.
and think about their fragile lives,
Maybe I will get used to the rattling.
Maybe it will become a background to my joy
I stare at ceilings, my skeleton rioting.
I want to gnaw at the walls, the planet that is home, is prison, is all that would look back.
I invent gods to fight and hold a grudge against.
Proclaim the illness of the body a divine lack.
I see the world, so beautiful, so devastating.
Let me participate, I argue with my bones
They trick me, say, just go, you're free.
Say, the world, so beautiful, so devastating,
go love and weep with sorrow, with delight.
if my bones, in the middle, in the center of me,
wished for once to take me, follow me.
asking for things no one can give.
So always when I venture to be a part of it,
to love and weep, and walk the land,
all I can do is throw my flesh at the green grass.
Shapeless, boneless, my center
Far away, rattle, rattle, calling for me.
And back I go, I carry memories
of all the dirt I touched.
Recovering from blood loss.
I cover my skeleton, wrap myself around my home of dry bone and want.
I share with my bones about what I've seen,
there in the world, so beautiful, so devastating,
where the grass remembers my touch.
Is it enough? Would you maybe consider
coming with me next time, so I can be whole,
forever whole and heavy, real and solid,
My hungry bones refuse me and my plight.
I am them. They are me. And we starve together.
Best I can do is laugh about it.
snowghoul
germansingergirl
2087
stormborns
amandla
vaporwave
