What's Scary?

I talk about scary things here. Some are scarier than others. Send comments & suggestions! Ask Me.

[gravesthataregoofy]

Absinthe for Vampira.

[mercycube]

The road ends here, and so does life.

[iaminfiniteus]

[superscaryghost]

For the nerdy pencil and dice tabletop RPGers (like me), aren't there distinct differences between demons and devils? Any good Monster Manual could explain those differences, but I'm interested in your thoughts on the matter.

Thank you. I didn’t know about these differences, but I referred to the Pathfinder online reference documents and read about demons vs. devils.  It seems like the main difference is that devils were once mortal souls, and it takes hundreds of years of being tortured in hell before they can morph into devil form. Demons are more of like the “native” inhabitants of hell, and are also cooler and more powerful.

You can summon a devil OR a demon with the right amount of black magic, although I didn’t see any mention of possession in the Pathfinder stuff (it can probably happen?). Mainly it’s dumbass wizards and demon-worshippers summoning them to make deals or keep demon slaves (tip: that never works).

In the Pathfinder universe, demons can do all sorts of scary stuff without possessing you, as long as they’re magically summoned. Even if you summon them and then bind them into servitude, they’ll likely find a way around that and kill you, and possibly everyone. So I still ask, why do demons of Earth have to possess young women and priests to do their vaguely-defined evil work, instead of just showing up in demon form?

[superscaryghost]

Are You Afraid of the Dark? (My Favorite Episode.)

Most people of a certain age agree that Are You Afraid of the Dark? was pretty scary at times. For me, there is one episode that stands out above all others, because it scared the crap out of me the first time I saw it.

The Tale of the Lonely Ghost was the third episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? and first aired in 1992. And I was very young in 1992... my fear was real!

It's a simple story of a young lady spending the night alone in a haunted house, and the helpfully thorough AYAOTD Wiki has a plot summary if you're interested - but this is all you really need to know:

Uh, that ghost girl wrote "HELP ME" backwards all over the walls. Holy shit. Stop scaring the children!

If any of you watched the show back in the early 90s, let me know what your favorite episodes were. And if you had bangs like this.

[superscaryghost]

Demons: Why?

Demons are generally considered to be pretty scary, and there are plenty of horror stories about them. And yet I have to wonder, why are they scary? I feel like demons have the potential to be terrifying, but in practice they don't really get it done.

The main activity of a demon (general demons, not The Devil Himself) is to possess people, right? Sometimes the possession just "happens", but a lot of times the demon is summoned directly. In our modern horror media, it's usually some dumb kids who unknowingly perform the summoning.

Don't use this by yourself kids. No seriously, just DO NOT

And don’t read this stuff out loud FFS

Of course, there are those who set out to summon demons on purpose.

Yahoo Answers

Inevitably the demon will possess someone, right? But think about it, how often does a possessed person ever accomplish something REALLY horrifying? What are they even trying to do, besides show off their Latin fluency and puke on stuff?

They're just going to be tied to something most of the time, acting all weird. If they're lucky, they'll manage to kill like ONE person before they get exorcised or killed.

Snore

There are exceptions, yes, but I think on the whole, demonic possession is a pretty ineffective way of doing evil stuff. Feel free to send me your opinions on the matter!

[superscaryghost]

A Ghostly Anecdote

I’d like to share with you this 100% true ghost story from my life. With guest commentary by my Mom!

This is partly a guest post from my Mom. She was asked to share her recollection of the haunted house where I grew up. Some of the names in this story have been changed.

Mom writes: I've lived in a house with ghosts, I'd see them whooshing around day and night. I was pretty sure it was ghosts, but became certain after asking my daughter [my older sister -Ed.] if she ever saw anything unusual. She asked, oh you mean the ghosts? It never seemed like the ghosts noticed us, no sense of menace or anything. There was only one odd thing that happened from time to time - but before I get into that, I will tell you what I know of the ghosts themselves. The house had been built and owned by the same family for 50 years. It was located in a small town in the southern california mountains. It was a vacation home until one of the sons took up full time residence. Bob H., the owner, is reputed to have been a less than stellar human being. What I was told by a former acquaintance of his says a lot: Bob had been married to a wonderful woman, Dorothea, for many years. Everyone who knew Dorothea just loved her. Sadly a time came when Dorothea became very ill. Over a relatively short period of time, it became known that she would not survive. But it turns out that old Bob had been drowning his sorrows quite regularly at one of the bars in town. In fact, he'd been receiving quite a bit of comfort from a barmaid there by the name of Jackie Ray. Soon enough, Bob had moved Dorothea into a cheap motel and moved Jackie Ray into his home.  Dorothea died soon after, alone at the motel. I don't know how much time passed before EMTs responded to a 911 call at Bob's home and found that he had dropped dead on his way upstairs - but we bought the house one year later, from Jackie Ray. The odd happening: My family and I would inexplicably slip and fall coming down the stairs, as we set foot on the third step from the bottom. Yes, exactly where old Bob H. collapsed and died. My take on the haunting is that Dorothea returned to her beloved home and stayed busy keeping it beautiful as she had in life. Meanwhile, Bob was plagued to the hell of following her night and day, begging for forgiveness which he never received.

As for my experiences in the house, I was very young during this time and I don’t remember seeing any ghosts or other visual disturbances - but I can confirm that the thing of people falling on the stairs was very real. I eventually started hopping over that particular step on my way down the stairs. As far as anyone could tell, there wasn’t anything wrong with the step (except for how it was haunted!!)

This is an actual photo of Bob H. in life, taken outside of the house where I would eventually grow up.

Have you ever seen a ghost, demon, banshee, vampire, zombie, chupacabra, or anything of that nature? Let me know in the Ask box!

[superscaryghost]

Boo

I haven’t had time to write about anything scary lately, but I want to keep up with it! Don’t forget about me.  And in the meantime please send me your scariest asks (ghost stories especially encouraged)

[superscaryghost]

Hey FGP: Have you seen THE BROKEN? It stars Lena Headey and the fabulous Richard Jenkins. It is definitely a creepy doppelganger movie. Some folks complain that it's slow, I think it builds tension in a way that makes American audiences uncomfortable. Check it out and let me know how it stacks up in the dopp genre.

Thanks for the tip! I haven't seen it but it sounds good. Gonna check it out. There's also that Jake Gyllenhaal one from recently, does anyone know if it's good?

[superscaryghost]

Doppelgängers

The first time I remember hearing of doppelgangers was when I saw the Twilight Zone episode, "Mirror Image".  I found the concept completely terrifying, of course.

(If you stare at this image too long, you'll get real confused about why the other lady can't see the doppelganger.)

Throughout human history, the idea of sinister doubles has appeared in our stories and myths. But where do doppelgangers come from, and why are they trying to take over our lives?? There are so many theories. I've listed some of my favorites below:

- Clones (probably created by the reptilians to conquer earth)

- Future You (came back to take your place, e.g. Primer )

- Evil Black Lodge Doppelganger (trapped you in the Black Lodge to take your place)

- Your long-lost evil twin (likely came here to steal your man)

- A shade/omen of your impending death (oh shit!)

Doppelganger Scariness Rating: A+.  WAY scary.

Popularity Rating: A+. Probably almost as popular as ghosts.

What are some of your favorite doppelganger stories, films, myths, etc.?  Have YOU ever seen one? (I hope not).  Let me know via Ask Box!

[superscaryghost]

What about elves? I mean the range of elves from cutesie holiday-elf salt-and-pepper shakers to evil elves who steal babies and kittens.

Elves, you say? That is a good question!

Where to start with elves? As you mentioned, there are Santa’s elves and then there are evil elves (stealing babies may be more of a faery thing, but elves can still be evil).  Are those truly the extremes of the elf morality spectrum? Let’s discuss.

A Lawful Neutral-aligned elf with an A++ fierceness score.

On the “good” end of the spectrum, you’ve got Christmas elves and fantasy elves. Fantasy elves are immortal, nature-loving elves, who are really pretty. Mostly high/noble-blooded elves, and some are forest or wood elves. They’re “good” because they help out people who they think deserve it, and they work on saving the planet and stuff. 

Many elf-types fall somewhere in the middle, or “neutral” area: City elves, secretive elf clans, Dalish elves, high elves who are just super bitchy… this type of elf can be scary given the right conditions, I guess. It’s best not to cross them.

"Evil" elves pretty much fall into a single category, also known as "Dark". They’re the enemy of the good elves and maybe everyone else, and you know they’re a dark elf because their skin is dark. Good elves have uniformly light or pastel colored skin, which is total bullshit. What do "evil" elves even do? Well, they usually just go to war with the other elves for many generations, for reasons that aren’t inherently bad. Just an example of why I hate elves. 

In conclusion: There are no good or evil elves, and the aspirational fantasy of the Tolkien elf is a crappy, offensive trope that no one should ever have to see again. They still get an A for popularity, and their scariness score can only be determined on an individual basis.

[superscaryghost]

Mi-Go

"Notwithstanding the deep things I saw and heard, and the admitted vividness the impression produced on me by these things, I cannot prove even now whether I was right or wrong in my hideous inference." The Whisperer in Darkness is, in my opinion, one of the most absolutely perfect stories that Lovecraft ever wrote. It degenerates into 100% insanity very, very quickly. It has everything you could possibly want from Lovecraft, jam-packed into a brief little plot: Cthulhu references; madness; scholarly disdain; incomprehensible geometric principles from beyond space and time, described with great difficulty; and the Necronomicon. (and possibly the first-ever wax recording of alien speech?) But there’s also *so much more*, especially near the end. That said, the reason I’m writing about it here is due to a characteristic of the alien race (officially known as the Mi-Go) central to this plot. It’s not something that is repeated throughout related works, or much-discussed among fans (as far as I know, anyway), but key to the behavior of the Mi-Go: They imitate human speech, but their voices sound like a swarm of bees. Oh sure, they have “crustaceous” pink bodies, and no faces and huge flappy wings, but it’s still not THAT scary until they start whispering to you with words made out of buzzing… “…buzzing voices in imitation of human speech which made surprising offers to lone travelers on roads and cart-paths in the deep woods…”  What the hell! That’s scary.  Long story short, I give the crustaceous servants of Nyarlathotep in question an A for scariness. Yikes. On the popularity scale, I’m not sure where this ranks for the most popular works of Lovecraft - it is not “central” to the Cthulhu mythos, according to Wikipedia. A supplementary work, you might say. B+ (points taken off for excessive trendiness of certain plot elements). P.S. Imitations of human speech that sound like [insert creepy inhuman sound here] have been used as a device in various horror stories & films - perhaps not as memorably as in this case, but use the Ask box if you want to talk about some other examples!

[superscaryghost]

Hello Monster Review. When I was 5, I saw the ghost of my great-grandmother. Let me set the stage. My grandma and great-grandmother shared a duplex. One day not long after my GGM passed away we were tending to her home going back and forth between units. I entered her home alone and saw my GGM, clear as day, walking through the kitchen. I ran next door to give everyone the good news that she was home and no one believed me. I went back and she was gone. Should I have been scared? What level?

Thanks for your submission! This is a good story. It’s often said that small children are more likely to see ghosts, but I wonder why? It sounds like your GGM was just visiting home to check in on things, and unless she was a scary person, she probably wasn’t a scary/mean ghost. On a 1-10 scale I would expect a scare level of 3.5 for this experience.

[superscaryghost]

Balrog

I want to avoid posting about all of the most popular scary monsters at once, so I'm switching it up - let's talk about 

BALROGS OF MORGOTH

[Image copyright New Line Cinema]

For many of us, the only Balrog who matters is the Balrog of Moria, because Gandalf fights him in the LotR: FotR movie. In fact, there was a whole posse of Balrogs in Tolkien - they were originally Maiar who got corrupted early on, and I'm not going to get into it, but there's more information about them here:

http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Balrog

Balrog scariness factor: Pretty high. Even though they are not rumored to exist on Earth, they are giant shadow-flame beings with evil fire whips who can't even be killed with man-made WEAPONS. They also have really mean attitudes and cannot be reasoned with.  I give them a B for scariness (points taken off for only being a threat in Middle Earth)

Popularity: LotR: FotR was a globally high-grossing film, and The Lord of the Rings was translated into a whole bunch of languages over the years (full list can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Translations_of_The_Lord_of_the_Rings#List_of_translations).  Thanks to the Balrog of Moria, all LotR fans know what a Balrog is, and so I'd rate their popularity at a B-.

Balrog thoughts?? Share them with me by sending me an Ask!

[superscaryghost]

GhooOOOooost

Hi and welcome to The Monster Review, in which I will post a brief description and review of some sort of monster or similar (e.g. ghoul, creature from beyond, terrifying apparition) as often as I get around to it.  Monsters et al. are reviewed and rated by me, based on a scariness scale and popularity factors. I figured I'd start with one of the most popular and scary monsters of all time,

A GHOST

[Image ©2014 ClipartPanda.com]

Ghost attitudes can fall anywhere on a wide spectrum from "angry and vengeful" to "friendly and helpful", but even the friendly ghosts are scary in their own way (they're still dead people after all).

Ghosts can be the ghost of a person, animal, or even a different kind of monster who died (ex. ghost-witch, spectral necromancer, etc.). Ghosts can appear to you in different ways, or in no way, and you can be afraid or them, or not.

Due to their impressive versatility and pervasive global presence, I feel that ghosts are one of the best overall scary things to ever exist.  I give them an A+ for scariness and an A++ for popularity (worldwide). 

P.S. Do you have personal experiences with a ghost or ghosts, or would you like to share some thoughts on the topic? Use the ask box