Need a hand, agent?

Alo zhere! Zhis is a blog zhat belongs to zhe great Professor Professor! I vasn't going to create zhis originally, but seeing as quite a few of our beloved U.Z.Z. (and T.H.E.M.) agents are sad sometimes, i thought zhis would be a kind gesture. Vhy not,...

[support-by-professor-professor]

another friend of mine hates me. started reblogging triggering things to our blog we run together. things that didnt even suit the blog. then vagued about me vigorously and blamed me for his problems. i thought we had something special, really. but he hates me.

You poor little zhing... *hugs* Have you left/unfollowed zhe blog? I could help more if i vould, but i cannot do much from my current position. If you believe zhat he hates you, zhen leave him behind, You deserve better, and you have better. If he hates you? Zhat’s his problem. In my eyes, you are a bright spark in zhis wonderfully small vorld. I bet if I vent into space, I vould see your vonderful smile from orbit, und I vould see your happiness all around you, no matter vhere I am.

Love you, Agent Sami.

[support-by-professor-professor]

Victor: The condom broke and Anita is now pregnant!

For shame, Agent Alex! Zhis blog is for supporting real agents vith zheir troubles, not zhis tomfoolery! Get your pervertedness out of my askbox and into anozher blogs.

[support-by-professor-professor]

I have a cold and its awful

Don’t vorry about it; a bit of soup and varm strudels vill clear your sinuses and make zhings much better! You might be sick for a vhile, but vhen it does clear up you vill be happier zhan ever.

[support-by-professor-professor]

So is it like a skeleton now~? Are you gunna hit me w/ a skeleton?

Probably.

[support-by-professor-professor]

Gosh I remember that~!! You also hit me with a fish you sneaky butt~! *smol tickle*

*giggles* Hey, I still have zhat fish, vatch it!!

[support-by-professor-professor]

I thINK sUSAN IS THE ONLY KIN ALLOWED TO SOMEWHAT MURDER

Iz zhat because she left Victor and Anita on zhe sun? *snorts* I mean, i vas there... I vas zhe penguin, did you see me?~ *runs off, runs back in with a penguin head* I still have my old suit, too!!

[support-by-professor-professor]

Well she was in the same room as the fella but my friend says its gunna be okay but like hhh im so nervous.

Ah, I’m sure she vas only framed. It can’t be zhat bad, can it? Besides, if she is, zhere vas probably a reason for it. Don’t be stressed! Just think about other things, take deep breaths, und think of anozher kintype! Channel your inner Susan, Agent Izzy! *grins*

[support-by-professor-professor]

No I think one of my kins may or may NOT be guilt w/ murder

*Falls out of chair* Ah! Zhat is most unfortunate! Vhy vould she be guilty of such a serious crime? Vho vas it? You’ll have to excuse me; I’m probably unfamiliar vith zhis book..

[support-by-professor-professor]

*SCREAMING AND CRYING* BOoks hurt a lot

Oh absolutely, Agent Izzy. I’ve alvays found zhat books are very painful. Especially vhen people are hitting you vith zhem. But I don’t think zhat is your problem. No no, yours is zhat you are upset over something in zhe book, jes?

[support-by-professor-professor]

*Plops down* uuugh I need motivation.

Don’t vorry about zhe things draggng you down. Everything vill be okay, if you put your mind to making it okay! *hugs* Ve love you lots, Agent Izzy.

[support-by-professor-professor]

I will cut out your vagina and feed it to my dog

Now now, I don’t think zhat is zhe vay to talk to a support professor. *folds arms* I think you mistook me for some kind of ranting blog, but you vould be mistaken. Besides... I haven’t got a vagina. Perhaps you’re on your menstruation cycle, Agent Sphere.

[support-by-professor-professor]

uughh collage is hard can I have a hug

Absolutely~! Just come over here, Agent Izzy, and ve’ll take good care of you. Deep breathing, meditation.. Zhere’s many vays to relieve stress. And don’t worry if people are stressing you out, zho long as you remember zhat Professie is here to help~!

[support-by-professor-professor]

Ah, velcome to zhe lab!

I suppose you’re all vondering vhy I decided to create zhis, no? Vell, it’s a long and complicated story, but zhe simple conclusion is zhat, vell, everyone at zhe U.Z.Z. HQ (And even a few Expendables!) turn to me for help vhenever one of zhem is feeling sad. And so, I set out to see vhat I could do for zhe kind and lovely people of zhis... er, “Tumblr,” as I believe Agent Ani called it. Ve’ve all called it “Bumblr” back at zhe HQ, ahaha..

Anyvay, I hope many of you agents out zhere decide zhat coming for help is zhe best advice possible.