*falls asleep on murphy's lap*
Being in space had it’s perks, sure. But it also had its major downfalls. One of which was that there wasn’t anywhere he could be alone. He was constantly worried about someone finding him. And if that person was Bellamy Blake, he couldn’t help but imagine various scenes in his mind where they ended up in bed together.
They both had significant others that they had to think about. Bellamy had Echo, and Murphy, of course, had Emori. They always promised when they found other people. People they could be with without the shame, they would let go.
Murphy was having a hard time letting go. He and Bellamy had been having casual sex for four months before Murphy met Emori. Bellamy was the one who encouraged it. Murphy was sure then that Bellamy didn’t feel the same way. So they parted ways. Murphy tried to throw himself into the relationship with Emori and it worked.
But as soon as they were all thrust up into space together things became difficult again. It became difficult to avoid the boy that he had spent so long avoiding. For feelings other than the presumed hatred everyone thought.
They were good actors it seemed.
But as Bellamy fell for Echo and Echo for him Murphy couldn’t handle it anymore. He started isolating himself. From everyone. Emori included. He wouldn’t leave his room for hours, sometimes days at a time. Emori would bring him food. Everyone chalked it up to having to be in space again. Depression they said.
It was depression but not for the reasons presumed. He was depressed because the boy he’d grown to love was shacking it up with another girl. The girl that had tried to kill Octavia. The girl that would betray them first chance once back on the ground if it meant getting back in the good graces of her fellow Azgeda.
Friendships that he’d formed while on the ship with the rest of them were quickly crumbling. And by crumbling i mean, he was taking a hammer to them with every mean word that he spat when they bothered him. Bellamy especially.
He’d separated himself six months ago.
They’d all tried at some point to come and get him. To bring him back but he didn’t want to come back. He didn’t want to be apart of the family that was being formed.
He was being an Angstyboi.
He didn’t know what came over him, why he decided to lash out physically when Bellamy came down the hall into Murphy’s territory. But he couldn’t help it, as his fist came into contact with Bellamy’s cheek he couldn’t help but curse himself and the other man for doing this.
They scuffled for a bit, fists landing, causing grunts and wheezes of pain. Legs kicking out in an attempt to free themselves from grips. The fight only lasted for a minute before they collapsed together on the ground, their lips coming together momentarily. The kiss passionate as Murphy pulls him into his lap, his head hitting the wall as he leaned back.
Their moment didn’t last though, because Bellamy soon pulled away with a sigh.
“we can’t do this, Murphy.” Bellamy spoke softly, his eyes meeting Murphy’s for the first time in months. “I can’t do that to Echo.”
Well that stung. Murphy nodded. He understood. “Of course.” he answered. But bellamy didn’t move off of him, his head resting on Murphy’s lap, a sigh falling from the darker male’s lips.
“i really am sorry, Murph.”
A shrug. “Don’t worry about it.” His fingers found his way to Bellamy’s curly locks and he sighed. It hurt to be this physically close to him and not be able to touch him the way he wanted to.
But he couldn’t force Bell into anything.
Slowly the older male’s breathing evened out.
He’d fallen asleep in Murphy’s lap. With a sigh, John slipped out of his jacket and placed it under Bellamy’s head before picking up his bowl of food that had been discarded on the floor, half spilled. He headed for his door. He needed to rest, being around Bellamy was mentally, emotionally, and physically draining.
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