It is impossible to explain life after chemo. The lasting effects are brutal. The trial therapy I was on has definitely taken its toll. I now have some strange pain disorder that no doctor has been able to figure out, my joints feel like they are broken, I have very little feeling on the left side of my body, I get severe nerves spasms, my hands will swell till the skin feels like it's going to tear and they get beat red and my joints feel broken and on fire. doing the smallest thing can put me in severe pain and it'll be several days or weeks to heal. This strange condition has gotten worse in the last 2 to 3 years.
My soon to be husband and my dad try to be helpful and try to keep me from getting more hurt by telling me not to help them with outside chores. The problem is, I'm only 29. The things I love doing are slowly getting to hard for me to do, and I'm really struggling with that. So when they tell me not to do something it hurts, I know why they are and I appreciate it, but it is so hard to know that im slowly losing my abilities. Im not mad at them, at all. Ive tried explaining it to them but all I get from them is either :"to bad, I don't want you hurt" or "fine if that's what you want then I don't care, but if you get hurt I won't feel bad for you" . I can't get them to understand that it's hard to slowly lose your hobbies, your interests, and your abilities. It's not easy to live like I do, being in severe pain 24/7. I don't want them to stop caring or anything like that, but I do want to be able to still help outside with little things at least.
I don't know what to do. Do I just let it go and just appreciate what they are doing and find other things I can do. Or is it ok for me to feel like I do?