wat

hi im alex and i live in florida

[dsmsix]

am I your sexiest psychiatric patient be honest

[dankmemeuniversity]

[aleshakills]

I know this is supposed to be a joke but I can’t even laugh cause that’s just how customers are

[stupidcommentdepository]

*attempts to log into bank account*

To continue answer security question: “Where and how will you die?”

types in “alone in a ditch wearing a clown costume”

*i view my account balance of $4.47*

[30-minute-memes]

Fapmaster

[notdeadbabies-deactivated201603]

My cousin is a preschool teacher and asked her students to suggest names for the baby she is expecting. It went well.

[thebootydiaries]

grandma

[gumtooth]

the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression

[sacastic]

90% of horse movies

[fuckyahumor]

girl: *finds horse who is impaired in some way*

girl: dad can I keep it

dad: no there's no hope for it let's go

girl: dad u idiot u don't get me

girl: *visits horse in middle of the night*

*cuts to girl riding the horse in an open field bc she is free and her dad can't control her*

dad: how dare u

girl: just let me prove to u this horse is special

girl: *enters race*

girl: *wins*

dad: u make me so proud

horse: *whinnies*

[arianabutera]

[75384547572]

[with-practice]

my dentist had so many fingers in my mouth i almost called him “daddy”.

[graceles-s]

Yall are fuckin weird

[with-practice]

you don’t go to the dentist?

[bob-belcher]

[theocseason4]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Gordon Ramsay ate my ass then said it was underseasoned and a fucking disgrace.

[jasper-rolls]

[eva-420]

[eva-420]

please stop reblogging this post

[twlboaj]

gno

[wattpadfic-deactivated20170213]

me: goodnight moon :)

moon: should’ve been saying goodnight 5 hours ago its 4am asshole get your life together

[f-yeahtrixiemattel]