* burn.

Ｓ． Ｂｏｎｅｓ i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.

[tvdversegifs]

[suscn]

wadeavery·:

Wade couldn’t help but feel like this was somehow his fault. He could have stopped. He could have done something when he was down in that vault. The best thing he did was let them out before it was too late. The way Anthony kept talking as if he knew more than Wade had ever told anyone, even Susan had stayed in his mind but it wasn’t the time to think about it. He had never wanted Susan to be in harm’s way and yet when he saw her, everything he feared was right there in front of him. One, he knew that he needed to sever himself from the Redeemers or worse things would happen that he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself for. Two, Susan’s life was more important than he could ever be and wanted to do everything he could to protect her. Feeling useless or the reason for that pain felt incredibly ill. Wade and Susan had just reached the point of accepting each other again, him proposing. They would have to talk about this eventually but instead, tonight had happened. 

“I-I know-he wasn’t supposed-no one was supposed to die,” he said, the words passing through him as if they weren’t even coming from him. All he could do was shake his head dumbly at her. “Is there anything-I want to help-let me help. Is there anything I can do?” he asked desperately now, wanting to take any or all of her pain. Wade stilled and glanced down at the towel he was holding. It had happened during the battle and had already taken care of the one Angelina had inflicted. They were so close now and Wade wanted to reach out for her, his hand moving to her face as if trying to hold them together. There weren’t any words and he leaned against the counter. “I tried using what we had. If I apparate again-I’ll be fine. It’s fine-I deserve this.”

No one was supposed to die. She shook her head at the words, someone always died and once again it was one of the closest people to her. The only family she had left lied in Hannah and Ernie, now just Hannah. “There's nothing you can do.” Susan admiteded honestly. Having been down the same path before she knew that time was the only cure for such a heartbreak. There was nothing anyone could do or say, thought they might try, that would make the situation any better or less painful. Her engagement ring felt heavy on her left hand as she used her thumb to twist it around. The only solution to their problems would be Wade leaving the redeemers completely, but she didn’t dare suggest that. She couldn’t handle the fight it might cause if she did. As well as tonight had opened her eyes to how easy it was for them to kill without need. If she lost Wade she wasn’t sure she’d be able to go on at all. So for now all she wanted now was for him to hold her as she cried and for her to find something as a distraction. Work was always good for a distraction because St Mungos was never a dull place. 

As she walked closer to him her eyes widened at the blood soaked towel. Why did she always seem to find Wade covered in blood. A shiver went across her whole body as he place his and onto her cheek. Automatically she leaned her head into it closing her eyes in the comforting moment to breath for what felt like the first time all evening. “You’re not apparating again are you crazy?” She said quickly hoping to knock any of his crazy ideas out of his mind. Her green eyes looked up at him. “You didn’t kill Ernie, Avery. That wasn’t your fault you don’t need to punish yourself.” Susan didn’t blame Wade for his death there was something about the way they were now that she knew he didn’t have any involvement. “I might have something stronger in my bag.” She kissed the palm on his hand before walking back towards the front door to search for the potion in her work bag. “Here try this.” Susan suggested handing the bottle over as she entered the room. 

[suscn]

ms-pparkinson·:

“I think we’re all going through a bit that,” Pansy said with a weak smile. She knew that some might find her being here odd, considering. Truth be told, the death that had hit her the most was Lucius. That had more to do with Draco and Narcissa more than how she had felt about him. Though that was overshadowed by the nightmares she was still having about being stuck in the vault. It was a miracle she hadn’t hexed Susan on the spot. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 

Susan nodded in agreement looking once again at the people around them. At least the majority looked like they were genuinely distraught at the passing of Kingsley. “No you’re fine I should of been looking where I was going.” She couldn’t recall if she’d ever had a conversation with Pansy Parkinson before, but weirder things had happened in the last year. Susan recalled that the other girl was one of the kidnaped. “How have you been holding up since..?”

[suscn]

where: ministry memorial service

status: open

Susan walked around the atrium looking at all the people who were in attendance of the memorial. Some seemed to taking the loss of Kingsley harder than others who looked impartial.  For Susan his absence was felt quite hard and left room for a lot of unknowns in all aspects of her life. Not knowing how the New Order would recover from the loss of their leader was the question on all of their minds though no one dared speak it so soon. As she wandered, listening intently to the heartfelt speeches from those who knew him best. She’d been so caught up in the words she hadn’t paid any attention to where she was going bumping straight into the side of some else. “I’m so sorry.” She stated quickly taking a few stumbles backwards. “seems my mind's elsewhere.” Susan said apologetically hoping the other would be understanding.

[suscn]

wadeavery·:

Following orders from the Redeemers were what he had been doing the last few months and it seemed like the only thing he knew. Susan Bones was a complete outlier and had caught Wade by surprise. Even then, he wasn’t fully into the Redeemers as the rest of them might be, but his hands weren’t completely innocent either. Since their transparency at her previous apartment, Wade had felt decomposed inside, wanting to change for Susan but knowing there would be risks in that. Wade also knew that the side she was fighting on also had risks and being with him was going to challenge them both. This was what Wade had feared would happen. Seeing Susan in the midst of a dangerous scene, one that already had a few deaths, made everything inside him go numb. He wanted to protect her but there was also protecting himself. He would die for her but pulling off his mask in front of everyone was not something he would question. 

Wade replayed what he could in his mind from the entire long night. Flashes kept repeating in his hand as he washed some of the blood down the sink and gritted his teeth at the circling pain. Susan’s entrance only made him still, everything resurfacing like it had when he got back. Seeing her safe gave him some relief but there was so much devastation that being okay was not enough right now. “That’s…good. I’m so sorry,” he said, his words breaking and he shook his head. “I didn’t know-It wasn’t supposed to go that way. I’m so sorry Susan.” It was all he could say and his head shook at her question. “No…happened before that.”

The events of the evening were so terrible they didn’t seem real. Perhaps that was the only thing keeping Susan from breaking down completely. However learning more details about Ernie’s tragic death didn’t help the already sick feeling in her stomach. Part of her wanted to know everything and find those responsible. The other didn’t know if she could emotionally handle any more detail than seeing his lifeless body in Gregory Goyle’s arms. Susan especially didn’t want to know Wade’s involvement him being there at all was hard enough, but to even think he could of been involved. She shook her head trying to get that thought out of her head immediately. He wouldn’t do that to her. Being apart of the New Order was supposed to help, to accomplish something good in the wizarding world. But it just seemed like people kept dying it didn’t feel like there was an end to the constant trama. 

Now with Kingsley gone she wasn’t sure what they were going to do. “I-I can’t do this anymore. We just wanted to help and good innocent p-people keep dying.” It was as if the words allowed the flood gates to reopen as her cheeks felt instantly wet again. Susan ran her arm over her face trying to wipe the blurry vision away. “Ernie didn’t even know anything!” He wasn’t involved in the New Order like Hannah and herself were, they’d kept him out of it all, kept him safe. Silence filled the room for a moment and it was almost comforting after the chaos. She let out a small sigh of relief that she hadn’t been the one to cause Wade’s injuries, but he shouldn’t of been covered in blood at all. “Let me see.” Susan approached him slowly.

[suscn]

wadeavery·:

where: bones cottage closed: @suscn·

However long time seemed, it stretched even more. Wade stirred awake and in pain on the ground at the bank. He knew he had to apparate before authorities came and he did so, clenching his hand over where the wound was before apparating. It only made it worse but it was better to be at the cottage and safe than to be in the hands of somewhere that could escalate it more. Wade kept seeing flashes of faces, bodies, and Susan’s face in the midst of it all. He released a groan as he collapsed against the kitchen counter. Wade removed his hand from where it was covering the stab wound. This wasn’t something he didn’t see and he did see it almost everyday at the hospital but it was different. The pain was coursing through him and not just being observed by some healer. He groaned as he tugged his shirt over his head, ignoring the pain that followed. Fresh air hit his abdomen and he gasped as he threw open the nearest cupboard that held normal potions. He cursed as he realized the closest pain potion they had was not enough but it was all he had. After several moments of struggling with tasks that he was normally well equipped with, he took a damp towel and held it against him. 

Wade barely had a chance to settle into the small comfort when the door swung open. It was late, he knew that. He knew that Susan had been gone and his worry was completely on her as he worked on himself. Now, staring at her, his eyes were wide with panic. This was the first time they had fought on opposite sides in person. They had always been fighting on opposite sides but this was different. “You’re back,” he said indefinitely. His grip on the counter hardened even though he was feeling better. This was another tidal wave of pain that didn’t have a potion to take. “Susan…you-is he…?”

Ever since her accident in sixth year Susan hated apparating on her own, she always had the fear of injury. However after the events at gringotts followed by the evening a grimmauld place she just wanted to go home. She considered going to the hospital instead to try and help. In the morning she’d no doubt throw herself into work as a distraction to the loss of one of her best friends, but for now she was in no state to work. Susan could barely keep her eyes open from exhaustion and they stung from the crying. Surprisingly she managed to concentrate enough to get herself home without getting splinched in the process. By the time she’d reached the cottage door she just wanted to crumble in physical and emotional exhaustion.

With everything that had gone on after she’d almost forgotten how she’d left Wade. Stunned on the floor of the vault in Gringotts after Anthony's warning of who was under the Redeemer mask came too late. Anthony now knew what side Wade was on, she’d add that to her list to take care of in the morning.  She wrapped her arms around herself, tugging at the sleeves of her jumper, as she walked quietly through the cottage. Susan used the sleeve to wipe her eyes one last time before entering the kitchen. His question was only three jumbled words, but she knew what he wanted to ask. “We took his body to his parents... I couldn’t leave him there.” There was resentment in her voice. It seemed no matter what she did the people she loved kept dying. It was then she noticed the blood soaked kitchen towel pressed against his chest. Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. “I didn’t? - Did I?” She questioned her voice shaking with worry. She’d only stunned him right?

[suscn]

@aterryboot​

She sat in the staff room trying to catch her breath for a few minutes of the day before getting back to work. The girl was completely exhausted after signing up for so many shifts over the last few days. However she couldn’t blame the job completely because every time she tried to sleep it never worked anyways. When she heard the staff room open she quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Thankfully it was Terry, it was always easier with a member of the New Order, less excuses need to be made or lies to cover up the truth told. He knew how she was feeling Anthony was poisoned in a room a few floors away and they’d all lost Kingsley too. Despite this Susan was still embarrassed for not holding it together at work. “Sorry Terry, i’ll get out your way.” Susan apologised trying to collect herself with a fake smile and scoot her things over to the other side of the table. 

[suscn]

imogentravers·:

where: The Leaky Cauldron

status: open to all

When she first found out who the Redeemer she had attacked and inadvertedly killed was, she was shocked, to put it lightly. Imogen had been unaware of her father’s whereabouts since the second wizarding war, believing-hoping him to be dead. His allegiance to the Redeemers wasn’t as surprising when she thought about it, he had always been on the wrong side. A blood purist with no sense of a conscience. Being the last surviving member of the Travers line, she had been informed that all his assets were left to her when the estate manager read out his will. Wonderful. More blood money she didn’t know what to do with, like the money she had been awarded after her family had been slaughtered by the vampires. As if money could fill the hole in her heart. It was ridiculous really. The man had also handed her a letter, written by her father and addressed to her. Sitting in a corner of the Leaky Cauldron, tucked away from everyone she opened the letter and began to read, tears falling the more she had read. ‘When your mother married that blood traitor, that halfblood, I took it upon myself to rid the world of them.’ and ‘I instructed the vampires to keep you alive, my child…’ Too engrossed in what she was reading she did not notice someone trying to get her attention until they called her name. “What do you want?” 

The aftermath of Gringotts hit harder than the rest. In Susan’s case she’d lost Ernie one of the only members of ‘family’, or as good as, that she had left. She was sick of the sympathetic looks the same ones she’d had her entire life. Imogen was always one of the few people who understood how it felt and now with the death of her father one of the only who completely understood. She noticed the back of Imogen’s head as she entered the Leaky Cauldron and debated turning around and hiding like she had for the last few days. However she put her own pain on the back burner for her friends. “Imogen-” Susan called out softly to grasp her attention from the parchment she was reading. The look on Imogen’s face broke Susan’s heart and without thinking she pulled her into an embrace. “To help-” She answered taking the seat opposite her.  “-anyway I can...” That was all she ever wanted despite failing many times. 

[suscn]

@anthonyxgoldstein​

Throwing herself into work had always been her coping mechanism when it came to loss. She was too young to remember the loss of her parents, but for her Aunt Amelia it was hogwarts work. And now with the loss of one of her closest friends it was time at St Mungos. There was a room she’d been avoiding and the was Anthony’s. He had been the one to tell her of Ernies death and now he knew about Wades allegiance to the redeemers. Both of those being topics Susan wanted to avoid where possible. However Anthony was a friend and it killed her that she hadn’t checked up on him yet. She made her way to his room and awkwardly lingered at the door before getting a rush of bravery and knocking. Susan entered quietly with an apologetic look already plastered on her face. “How are you feeling?”

[suscn]

❂ MOODBOARD | SUSAN BONES X @ANTHONYXGOLDSTEIN

[suscn]

❂ MOODBOARD | SUSAN BONES X  @wadeavery

[suscn]

❂ MOODBOARD | SUSAN BONES X  @imogentravers

[suscn]

❂ MOODBOARD | SUSAN BONES X  @astoriacgreengrass

[indiiesmemes]

send a ❂ to get a moodboard for our muses.

[booksandcleverness-arc]

@romanavery @xoromilda @billtheweasley

[suscn]

@suscn @blckcressida @greggoylc

[suscn]

wadeavery·:

Wade was aware of the complex situation they found themselves in. He wouldn’t question Susan’s loyalty but she had every right to question his. Recently, he didn’t even know where he belonged and wondered if the source of his change of heart was standing across from him. Wade barely raised his eyes off the floor to see Susan cross the room and when he felt her soft hand on his face, he repressed the temptation to move away. He did not deserve her comfort, her warmth, everything that made Susan Bones. 

“Hey, you aren’t going to lose me, alright?” He said reassuringly, catching her hand and squeezing it. “I’m not going anywhere. My place is here.” Figuratively he meant with her always as well as in this cottage. Leaving again wasn’t his intention and shouldn’t have been in the first place. “I…I know you shouldn’t forgive me. I don’t deserve it. You’re…so special to me. I didn’t know that I could care about anything as much as I do about you. You caught me off guard and still do. I want to be the one to make you happy, to be there for you when you need me, and not be an idiot. I don’t want to lose you either.” Wade paused and breathed out a shaking sigh, taking out the ring that was hidden in his pocket. “I don’t think I could be on this earth if you’re not in my life.” He held the ring in his hands and glanced down nervously, “Marry me, Bones.”

Susan just nodded along to his words, remaining silent, as she’d never truly believe him. Her track record of losing the people she loved was enough to have that constant doubt in the back of her mind. The side he had chosen and their reputation didn’t do much to help that feeling either. Her eyebrows came together as he began his big speech part of her trying to listen to the words. Whilst also trying to work out why he seemed so nervous and fidgety. 

His apologies always seemed overly dramatic as if he was completely unaware that she would forgive him every single time. “But I do forgive you.” She said quietly under his own words before the confused expression came back onto her face. It was like he was proclaiming his love for her all over again. As he spoke the last three words her breath caught in her mouth and she forgot to breathe for a few seconds. “-Wait what, are you serious?” Susan asked he mouth hanging open completely convinced that he was kidding until she followed his gaze down to the ring in his hand. She stared at it as the shock washed through her before reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. Her lips connecting to his. “Yes of course I will.”

[suscn]

astoriacgreengrass·:

“As long as you’re happy, I’ll support you. And Wade seems like a nice guy and I can tell he cares for you very much.” He had been in an arranged marriage agreement set up by his parents as well so Astoria felt some sort of kinship with him. He found love away from it all, perhaps she could as well. “We um.. we are meeting up again soon. He wants to see what I painted while he was gone. Wait…Bridesmaid?” 

Susan gave her a small but thankful smile, she’d always been grateful for Astoria’s friendship, but especially now. “You seem to be the only one who thinks so or sees what I see. I don’t think Hannah and Ernie don’t approve...” She admitted quietly before shrugging off the sad feeling that idea brought her. “Of course” Susan laughed at her friends surprise as if it wasn’t completely obvious. “I mean if you’d like to.” 

[suscn]

hannahjaneabbott·:

*

“I suppose you did have the misfortune of living with me for so long…” Hannah replied with a small laugh. They’d roomed together at Hogwarts and then continued when they graduated. Hannah missed Susan since she had moved out, but she wouldn’t admit it out loud. She didn’t want to make Susan feel as if she’d made the wrong choice. Hannah was happy for her, but she was also cautious. She didn’t trust Wade. Merlin, she needed Ernie to talk to about her concerns. 

At the present moment, she didn’t care about Wade. All she wanted to do was spend some quality time with Susan. The blonde opened the bottle of wine and poured two glasses when Susan brought some glasses. Sitting down on the couch, Hannah replied, “I can assure you that my life isn’t very exciting. I’ve been working, mostly. Baking at times. What about you? How are you?” 

“It was no misfortune, believe me. You know how to clean up after yourself.” She joked with a smile and laugh before taking a sip of her wine. Living with Wade was great, but there was something very different about living with a guy and living with your best friend. Susan faked shock and placed her hand over her chest. “You’ve been baking, but I’m only now receiving the treats?” It was actually nice to not have too much drama to share for once. Everything had seemed to settle down at least for a little while. “How is the leaky cauldron?  Still full of the same drunken weirdos on the weekends?” She wondered out loud. Susan missed her evening at the pub with Ernie and Hannah, but with all the darkness lingering on it seemed to be harder to enjoy the little things like an evening drinking with friends. 

Susan pulled a face when the conversation flipped back to her. She knew that Hannah, as her best friend, needed to know. But she also feared the judgement or disapproval that might follow on from a confession. So she brought the wine glass to her lips and mumbled into it quietly. “I’m getting married.”