The Unbearable Humptiness of Being

Bringing sexy back, demanding full refund. He/him I guess

[sushigrade]

Silk dress in the style of the Negrin/Fortuny Delphos gown by my amazing wife

[pmamtraveller]

Land Shark by Chris Austin

[pmamtraveller]

Rear View, Sunset by Jenny Bloomfield

[bimmyjimmy]

every time i sit down to knit, a Jimmy immediately spawns in

[tahthetrickster]

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

[o-craven-canto]

NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

your move, Hemingway

[pattinsonsupremacy]

something so poetic about this

[grapnel]

An example of why one should use the Oxford comma.

[sepdet]

LOL. I think they tried to fix it.

Nice try. Still no.

[moonlightsdream]

FILMS in 2026: 12 | KPop Demon Hunters (2025) — dir. Chris Appelhans, Maggie Kang    

[doodlesorganizationland]

The Port Gamble S’Klallam Tribe made this card for their citizens to present to ICE.

If you are in a different federally recognized tribe in Washington State:

“I am a member of the (insert tribe here) Tribal Nation, which is Tribal Nation federally recognized by the United States.

This means I am also a United States citizen according to the U.S. Citizenship Act of 1924, 8 USC Section 1401.

Our tribe’s enrollment office number is (insert phone number here).

The Native American Rights Fund will assist me if you attempt to illegally detain me. Contact them at 303-447-8760”

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[valerie-an]

do you ever want to gently float up to someone and whisper “this isn’t a debate; i am actually educated on the subject and i’m telling you you’re wrong”

Yes and I would also like to gently float in general.

[valerie-an]

this is the most positive addition that has ever been made on my post

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This phrase has already entered my vocabulary re: media criticism where like. The viewer has a concrete view of what they expect a story to be based on the tropes and cliches they're used to seeing together, and when that doesn't happen, they judge it as a failed depiction of what they assumed it was going to be instead of judging it as what it actually is.

"This show is problematic because the hero didn't kill the villain at the end": When does he steal the bread?

"These two characters who were close friends throughout the series don't kiss at the end! What the fuck?": When does he steal the bread?

"This feels like it's missing a conclusion! Like, the protagonist does bad stuff and because of a critical decision he makes as a result of his major character flaws, meets tragedy in the end! Where's the part where he learns better and brings is love back from the dead and becomes a good guy and gets a happy ending?": When does he steal the fucking bread??

[thetetra]

I heard this out as "When criticizing something, you must judge it for what it is, not what it isn't"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this is why so many of us urge people to get a wider diet of stories

[depsidase]

[midnightinthemagicmicagarden]

Better Angels

Watercolor On Black Cotton Paper

2024, 22"x 30"

White Delphiniums

[midnightinthemagicmicagarden]

Available for $900 (Etsy price $3600) with Tumblr discount. DM to claim.

[txttletale]

if anything you're reading makes reference to the cultural practices or social structures of "indigenous societies" you should mentally annotate it with "WHICH ONES???" in bright red marker

[weepingfireflies]

The thing about Leverage is that even on the rare occasions where I don't believe a normal person would fall for something, I 100% believe a billionaire who's never been told "no" would. This is the same group of people that tried to visit the Titanic with a video game controller

[pomrania]

Tags by @everythingblowsupsilly:

i agree with this totally #whenever a mark falls for something i think is obvious #i remind myself: #what reasoning would they have to think that this situation has been carefully rigged through ultra-complex maneuvers by #a hypercompetent team of people who don't have anything to do with you— all for a not-necessarily-obvious purpose— #and why would that rube goldberg machine type explanation seem more likely than the far more straightforward appearance of the situation? #kind of like an occam's razor double-cross #i also ask #why would this mark— who is frequently conceited; privileged; overconfident— be suspicious of a situation that usually completely suits #their worldview? the crew has to know how to play into a mark's expectations to do any con; and the mark's downfall is always that they were #too carried away with the story of the con to avoid shooting themself in the foot. they're used to things going the way they want: #he considers himself a genius and he's searching for aliens— so of course he would be the one to make first contact. #he thinks he's too clever to fall for a con and he considers everyone else beneath him— so of course he would outsmart the crew and win #he's a hypochondriac— so of course he would become too carried away when he seems to show signs of sickness to be suspicious. #we get to see the sixteen layers of strategy behind the con; but the marks only see the facade. that's why leverage works so well. #it's not just bad people receiving a simple revenge; it's bad people shaking hands with karma and walking into the consequences of their #actions with foolish confidence. yknow; why not buy a popular social media platform to become its king and tailor it to your whims? #after all; you're a genius; you're popular; and your opinions are always right. and it'll obviously be successful; so what could go wrong? #good post op #i did not mean to write this much

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

[sushigrade]

Hey, reminder that it's lettuce from Taylor Farms, which also supplies Walmart as well as numerous restaurant chains, and sells organic produce as Earthbound Farms. They're a Republican mega-donor who have had numerous problems with contamination ever since Orange Shitgibbon rolled back food inspections and standards, so maybe try not to buy their shit if you can avoid it