Shit My Roommate Says

A human shitpost generator

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

Hallelujah, girl

The only minor you should be attracted to is the minor chord. The major lift.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

Hallelujah, girl

The only minor you should be attracted to is the minor chord. The major lift.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

...

I’m a human, Taylor. A Hugh Man. Middle name Jack!

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

To each their own I guess

Alright, time to watch my high-definition Internet porn. If I can’t see every surgical scar I’m gonna be pissed.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

I guess the animation was really good

Every time I see this movie, I nut. A big, fuckin’ bucketful.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

I honestly can’t even remember...

Go on, grip those nose holes. Fist ‘em if you have to!

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

...

I’m a human, Taylor. A Hugh Man. Middle name Jack!

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

To each their own I guess

Alright, time to watch my high-definition Internet porn. If I can’t see every surgical scar I’m gonna be pissed.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

I guess the animation was really good

Every time I see this movie, I nut. A big, fuckin’ bucketful.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

I honestly can’t even remember...

Go on, grip those nose holes. Fist ‘em if you have to!

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

We all need a little help sometimes

I need my emotional support bastard. (“Who’s that?”) Siri.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

I didn’t ask, but ok

My fetish is long, sharp canine teeth and I’m not sorry.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

Washing a plate with dried on ketchup

I’m writing a book called Mein Ketchup. It’s a story about my struggles with Ketchup.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

Discussing names for animal groups

Oh yea, and a group of humans should be called an infestation!

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

Aspirations

One day, I’m going to boil a grain of rice as big as this couch.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

Solving video game puzzles

I’m a brilliant science-tist.

[suspiciousquesadilla-blog]

While watching Criminal Minds...

That prostitute is the real hero: she eats dick so her kids can eat chicken nuggets.