Glasses, Buggies, &amp; Bearclaws

#the only one that can q me is me.#outofsavings

//Hey y’all, good ole’ Jae is having semi-surgery today and will probs be hella drugged for the rest of the week. So I’m making this a *drum roll*

semi-hiatus notice for 6/16-6/21

This is effective for all of my active accounts:

swanlessendings; regalxlegality; grumpyxjanitor; henrytheheroic

(just bc I pop on henry every blue moon)

I know I still owe people replies on here and I’m sorry, I might get to them, but I also might be hella flaky for a little while. Much love!

<3 Jae

//Hey y’all, good ole’ Jae is having semi-surgery today and will probs be hella drugged for the rest of the week. So I’m making this a *drum roll*

semi-hiatus notice for 6/16-6/21

This is effective for all of my active accounts:

swanlessendings; regalxlegality; grumpyxjanitor; henrytheheroic

(just bc I pop on henry every blue moon)

I know I still owe people replies on here and I’m sorry, I might get to them, but I also might be hella flaky for a little while. Much love!

<3 Jae

#the only one that can q me is me #semi hiatus #outofsavings

"Woah, are you alright?"

The Professor nodded and rubbed his head softly. “I think so.”

“Well, something like that,” he admitted. “Though also another time…”

#theprofessorxisin #the only one that can q me is me.

“Wait...what?”

"What the hell?!"

“I’m sorry. But it was a trap. I saved your life.”

He chuckles and follows her over. “Alright,” he said, getting into the passengers seat.“

#theprofessorxisin #the only one that can q me is me

“Buckle up.” She sighs and, after a few catching turns, starts her car. “Sounds like we’ve got a weird ride ahead of us.”

#split queen #sq #v: what a working cliche #//idk if I sould reply to all of these I sent you but I am xD #the only one that can q me is me.

"What'd the clock do when it was hungry?" Emma swallows her bite of apple, turning around in her chair, "It went back four seconds."

Joke 5She huffed out a breath and looked at Emma, a fake laugh slipping through her lips to just shut the woman up, but then a small pout graced her face and she rested her chin on her clasped hands “Emma..” she whined and adjusted her position in her leather seat “Stop with the jokes, I just want you to–” she closed her eyes tightly and rubbed her hands down her face, before resting them back in their previous position. Kiss me, just kiss me already you adorable, young, sexy fiery thing, take me on the table before I rip of my own blouse and hump you like a dog.. “– Get me my files”

swanlessendings

A frown tugs down her lips at the sound of the laugh. A little rough and cool and...not the real thing. “Oh, come on, the joke wasn’t that bad.” She tries, sighing, shoulders slumping a little. It’s exhausting. This whole...cheery thing (she doesn’t really do it; she’s never really done the cheery thing) but she remembers that laugh and it’ll be worth it. So she grabs the files. Crosses the room. And drops her elbows onto the desk, leaning over to meet dark eyes, “Want to hear something really funny? Come on, one story--you get your files after.” Maybe holding her boss’ files hostage wasn’t the best plan, but she’s running out of ideas, here.

henryiism-blog

She didn’t understand. And he couldn’t really blame her, but he really would like her to understand. He had full conviction on this. “What I want is to be with my family all of it. Family means nobody gets left behind, of forgotten.” Even Regina. She had promised him that she would change, and he believed in her. But nobody else seemed to be giving her a chance.

By this rate the topic about Hulk, the horse, had been completely left behind for this, but it was okay, since this they were talking about was important. He’d go looking for his stallion by himself later if Charming couldn’t go with him.

#henryiism #the only one that can q me is me.

Emma stares at him for a long time, not really sure where that...line came from (the book, or something?) but letting it sink in like a knife in her stomach. A heavy breath, looking back forward. Knuckles turn a little white over the wheel. “...alright.” She says simply, turning back to look at him.

“I promise, I’ll try my hardest to keep all your family together, Kid.”

#split queen #sq #v: what a working cliche #the only one that can q me is me.

"Why'd the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? He was out standing in his field."

Joke 4

Her fingers worked on the keyboard and she was furiously typing away, trying to finish this report before the deadline, when she heard Emma say something “Oh okay..” she whispered and continued the task at hand “Emma?” she called and tugged on the blonde’s hand to bring her closer "Does this sound right to you?“ Regina asked and pointed to the computer screen, her acceptance speech for her 5 years of public service award displayed to the blonde

swanlessendings

Emma immediately follows her boss’ tug, shifting forward, sitting Regina back down and leaning over, hand curving around a shoulder to read it. To actually read it. Because the brunette never deserved that casual kind of flippant remark–that sort of empty praise of a mindlessly nodding head that other assistants usually gave (and she’s still waiting to see that tyrant part of Regina, because she actually thinks she’s more than alright; she’s kind of…amazing) and a slow smile spreads across her lips. “It sounds great.” She nods. Pulls back a little. Squeezes the shoulder underneath her fingers and smiles.

“Hey, don’t give me that look, come on, you deserve this. You work your ass off. And this sounds great.”

"What'd the rug say to the floor?" Emma smirks, passing her boss the file, "I've got you covered." //they're getting worse

swanlessendingsJoke 3:

she smacked her lips and took the files gingerly as if she was receiving it from a wild animal “Okayyyy” Regina drawled and raised an eyebrow. Why did this girl make it her mission to see her boss laugh? was it the element of competition? or perhaps something.. deeper? Her face contorted into a smile at the thought but she cleared her throat to hide it “I do hope you’re actually on top of things with work and not researching these jokes to prove a point?

#split queen #sq #v: what a working cliche #the only one that can q me is me.

“Hate to break it to you, Regina,” Emma’s hip leans against the desk, offering a wide, spreading smirk, “But I didn’t have to research anything to come up with that. It’s all that same natural wit you hired.” And probably occasionally regretted doing just that. Either way, Emma was going to make her laugh.

reginathequeenofmean

“Of course I’m sure. I lived here for the first thirty five years of my life. I should hope I know my own home.” She groaned and leaned against a tree. “Can’t you feel the magic? This is the source of it. It feels much stronger than it does in Storybrooke because it doesn’t belong there. But here? Here it’s right at home.” She groaned. “Neither do I. But I suggest we figure out a way to get back as soon as possible.”

#reginathequeenofmean #sq #the only one that can q me is me

Emma can feel the magic, alright. And she wants to bury herself in the twigs. “How the hell are we supposed to go back? I took the last bean the last time I was here.” She sighs, palms dragging down her face.

“Shit.”

"Why are you listening to all of these anonymous idiots? There must be something better you could be doing."

“I’m not listening to anyone.” Emma shifts, hands shoving into her pockets, eyes lingering a little over Regina’s shoulder, her body tense. “I’m fine.”

“…but if you’ve got a suggestion, I’m all ears.”

authorofmydestiny-blog

“Do I really deserve one?” Regina asks quietly. “After the way I’ve treated him?”

#authorofmydestiny #sq #the only one that can q me is me.

“I don’t know.” Emma seriously responds, voice quiet and gentle. “I think you do.” And it’s an honest response. An honest answer to an honest question. “I think you tried your best, Regina, and it doesn’t matter whether you deserve it if the kid gives it to you. What matters is what he wants, and I think he wants you. It’s not about whether you deserve it.”

"What the hell?!"

“I’m sorry. But it was a trap. I saved your life.”

“Well, I don’t usually find leads. They find me,” he explained, as he followed her.

#theprofessorxisin #the only one that can q me is me.

“...right.” She holds open the door, giving him a dry look before moving over to the driver’s side of her car. “Come on, then, lead-boy. Let’s go hope some leads find you.”

"Woah, are you alright?"

The Professor nodded and rubbed his head softly. “I think so.”

“Well, she was planning on taking my ship…”

#theprofessorxisin #the only one that can q me is me

“...your ship? You have a boat?” A pause, “Is she trying to go to another world?”

#split queen #sq #v: what a working cliche #the only one that can q me is me.

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels."

She raised an eyebrow at Emma’s joke, but then remembered the bet she had made with the blonde. The laugh was at the back of her throat, itching to escape her lips, but she settled for a simple snort and smile, her fingers reaching out to grab the bagel from Emma’s hands “Appropriate since you got this for me from the harbour, very clever Miss Swan” She complimented and took a bite

swanlessendings

Damn. She thought she had her. Although hearing Regina call her clever is almost as good a win as she needs.

But she wants that laugh, too.

So Emma pops open her own food, fork wrapping curling around noodles and--

A smile.

“Hey, Regina? What do you call a fake noodle?” She takes a bite, talking around the small swallow, “An impasta.”

#split queen #sq #v: what a working cliche #the only one that can q me is me.

"What's Forest Gump's password?" Emma calls from her keyboard, typing in her own, "1forest1."

She walked into her secretary’s office and leaned over her desk, an embarrassed smile on her face “I forgot my password again” She whispered, almost as if it would make the humiliation of something so simple that much smaller, but Emma’s joke and little rhyme would have been extremely funny if it had not bruised her ego a little “Thanks” she snapped and smacked Emma on the back of her head playfully “Smart ass!” she called over her shoulder and sashayed her hips back to her own office

swanlessendings

“Hey.” Emma protests, rubbing the back of her head with a spreading smirk, eyes flicking down to hips, to the art of Regina’s walk, and a little lower to--

No--no, not going there--but her eyes linger until her boss turns around the desk, shaking her head before looking back at her own monitor, an idea coming to mind. She jots down a quick note before following after her into the office, “May I?” She offers, gently taking the brunette’s keyboard, changing the password and pressing the yellow sticky to her employer’s wrist, “I changed it to your middle name and your birthday.” The tech guy who changed it to all numbers must’ve either never met Regina or had been intimidated by her power suit. It’s an action accompanied by a small smile, “You remember national budget reports down to the digit, pretty sure it’s alright if you forget your password. That’s why you have an assistant, right? Here,” She pulls up her calendar, ignoring the fact that she probably shouldn’t be so familiar with her employer, “You’ve got a meeting in twenty.”

imnottheman-yourelookingfor-blog

If Wishes Were Horses || Closed with Emma Swan

imnottheman-yourelookingfor-blog

no oh dear blessed gods of air and space no

He knows where he is now. When he is. Clever, clever Greg. Not enough to get him out of the solar system but out of the century too? United States. That could only mean one of two things. The United States of Intergallectic Species - which had lasted for about fifty years before EarthGov and the Circatii went openly to war and Earth became more cautious and more willing to stand alone - or the United States of America. The united states that had not existed for two-hundred years or more.

He turns quickly, his stomach churning fast - doubling over and retching because all the pieces slotted together and he was in America at least two centuries before his own birth. He has no identity, no idea how this world worked, no way home, no backup plan, probably no money - he is suddenly just as anonymous and invisible as he has always longed to be and it scares him more than almost anything in his life had ever scared him before. He is gasping for breath, panting hard as his world tunnels down to that one horrible statement, his heart pounding so fast he feels it might leap out of his chest. “I’m not meant to be here I’m not meant to be here I’m not meant to be here.”

#imnotthemanyourelookingfor #v: what do I look like boba fett #t: if wishes were horses #the only one that can q me is me.

“Hey, hey,” Emma winces at the sight of this kid hurling in the middle of her livingroom for more than one reason, immediately moving forward--remembering the way he flinched; remembering the way his body stiffened--palming the ice-cool washcloth her kid had grabbed before gently (carefully; so carefully) tucking his chin up. His breath is fast and his eyes look a little out of it (hopefully not wild) as she tries to catch his attention.

He’s definitely freaking out, pressing the cool cloth to his forehead before wiping his mouth, hand cupping his cheek to keep his focus.

“Hey, kid, watch me. Look at me. Focus right here.” She presses, trying to draw him out of it. Something happened to him in that alley, and she’s not sure she wants to know what. But she’ll find out and report it and track down the guy who did it. Wringing the cloth, starting to help clean his face up a bit. They’re gonna have to go to the hospital. “What do you like, Thomas? You know, to do. For fun.”

asblindasjustice-blog

Oops

asblindasjustice-blog

Matt stepped back with the shove, letting her release her anger on him rather than do something she would regret. “Hey, not your whole life, Em. I’ve still got your files in my office. I’m not sure how much of your life was made up, but I know that for a pretty good chunk of your life, it was real.” He returned in an attempt to comfort her.

“Just take a deep breath. Calm down, and think about it. Think about what your next move is going to be.” He added, putting his hand on her shoulder gently. “And know that I’ll be right with you, every step of the way.”