How to Write in FIRST-PERSON in a Way That Sounds NATURAL
When I just began writing, I entered some kind of first-person phase, where all my stories were written in, well, first-person POV. Looking back at it, however, I didn't really know how to write in this narrative, so my writing felt cringe and my characters, for lack of better terms, rather 'pick-me.'
First-person does some things better than third (or second) person. Some might say writing in first-person is easier too, since you focus mainly the main character, who also happens to be the narrator.
The thing is, first-person is also difficult to pull off because let's face it: it's incredibly easy for this POV to feel awkward. It can feel like the protagonist is talking to a camera, creating a weird sense of breaking the fourth wall.
With that being said, if you're struggling with executing first-person POV without the choppy dialogue, thoughts, and storytelling, this is just for you!
1. Do Not Talk to the Audience
In first-person, addressing the audience is often both seen as informal and awkward. In writing generally, it's best to avoid talking to the readers, but in first-person especially most cases of "talking with the audience" feels odd to the reader because it normally occurs during internal dialogue or self-monologue in a situation where they are (or feel) alone.
These lines are meant to move the plot forward, introduce characters, etc., but they feel unnatural because your main character is thinking these thoughts that we normally wouldn't have.
Thus, the key when it comes to avoiding "talking to the audience," using thoughts, the best way is to ensure that they generally think about stuff that most would take note too.
If you're against this because perhaps your character is neurodivergent or processes things differently, that's completely fine, but I'm talking a very broad spectrum of "general."
For example, we notice people and their features. A natural observation could be "Oh, this woman is really tall." We think stuff like this often--with this line, you aren't reaching out to the readers.
However, with something like "I have brown hair, blue eyes, and freckles," you're suddenly pulling the readers into the scene (not in a good way) because no one ever just suddenly describes themselves like that. The readers know this subconsciously, so now, you're talking to the audience.
But speaking of descriptions, this brings me to my next point!
2. Don't Let Your Main Character Describe Themself
Have you ever read a story in first-person that beings with something like: "My name is... I'm a student... I have dark hair... I like..., etc."?
Not only is that obviously talking to the audience, but it's also establishing early biases in the readers that might not exactly true. Of course, objective points such as ones about race, eye color, height and whatnot may very well be true, but their descriptions about their personality may not line up with what the audience sees.
So yes, when I say don't let your protagonist describe themself, I mean both physically and internally. Instead of making your character say, "I'm kind, I'm patient, I'm unique, I'm blah blah blah," let your readers figure that out. Let your readers determine what kind of character your protagonist while establishing as few presumptions as possible.
Alright, so if you can't let your main character describe themself despite the story being told from MC's POV, what do you do to expose their personality? Easy; you reveal it through their actions.
What a person does arguably tells the readers more about them than the words your character says. Additionally, it allows the reader to interpret the character's actions in their own way, instead of having an "objective" frame of them.
For example, if an employee is patient, you can show this by demonstrating how well they deal with a difficult customer. When the customer is raising their voice, the worker remains calm, direct, and listens. They don't lose their temper and try their best to assist the customer although the customer themself isn't being cooperative.
Not only do you highlight this employee's exceptional patience, but you're also exhibiting their willpower, maturity, and equanimity.
That means so much more than a "I'm patient," "I'm calm," or "I'm responsible."
4. Your MC's is Untrustworthy
Let's face it: if any of us were to write a story of our lives (like a journal), it'd be filled with inaccuracies we might be unaware of.
This is the same for your story; your MC also has warped views. They might judge characters inaccurately and misunderstand situations because they have biases. Their judgement isn't always going to be on point.
5. Don't Be So Straightforward with Thoughts
This is a more casual suggestion, really, but it can be good to avoid excessive straightforward-ness with thoughts. Thoughts play a big part when it comes to writing in first-person because you have free access to them, but the thing is, with comments like "I like her shoes," "this food is good," and "that's a nice car," you're not really saying anything. It's too blunt.
Believe it or not, you can describe more by staying vague.
Let's say your character admires someone's beauty. While you could totally say "Wow, she's so gorgeous," you could also say something like, "I wonder what'd life would be like if I looked like her," "I wish I could look like her," or even better? Describe how people's eyes follow her. How everyone glances at her. At how the wind suddenly seems like some sort of photoshooting prop rather than the weather with the way it blows through her hair.
These examples all reveal your protagonist's admiration for the woman's beauty, but also show envy, curiosity, and genuine interest. They demonstrate more than just the woman's looks; they demonstrate your protagonist's character.
The biggest takeaway here is basically to don't be so direct with the readers by not being too direct with your MC's thoughts. Honestly, I suggest trying to use as little thoughts as possible and focusing more on the bigger picture to make this happen.
Remember, your character is telling their story--it's not you who's narrating!