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Medyo Tanga Be Like

Papunta akong Makati ngayon kasi magpipirma na ko ng contract para sa bago kpng trabaho. (Hello new office tayo sa Monday). Tapos ayon, naiwan ko wallet ko. Hahahaha. Pakingshet. Seryoso. Hindi ko alam kung pano ako uuwi kasi nga ayun, 120 lang tong nasa bulsa ko tapos taga San Pedro pa ko tapos di pa ko kumakain. Hahahaha. So magsstudyante na lang ako pag wala ng choice. Hahaha. At, magpapapicture dapat ako. Kaso ayun nga. Wala e. Pag nagpapicture ako, pota, baka di talaga ako makauwi. 50/50 na nga ako ngayon baka maging 80/20 pa pag nagkataon. Hahaha. Anyway. Distracted talaga ako lately, that’s why. Hi guys!

#personal

perfucktion

If you're still checking up on me, i miss you.

myowninsanity

All I ask is that you take care of her for me. She’s like a 5 year old, she might be a junior in high school but she wants attention 24/7, she wants you to stroke her hair or hold her hand or kiss her face. She wants to know you’re there. That you love her. And I hope you do. I really hope you do. Whats not to love though? Shes so easy to love. She will tell you that shes difficult and annoying and that you’re going to leave her, and it’ll frustrate you to hear those words all the time knowing it’ll never happen. But it’s happened to her before. Please be different. She needs different. She will never understand the way that other people look at her. I saw it though. You should feel lucky everyday in her precense, I know I did. I also knew that I didn’t have much time with her, simply because I saw it coming after the first time I lost her. Though I always treasured holding her hand and feeling her thumb rub against mine. I never took for granted the way she stared into my eyes with pouty lips begging for a kiss. I knew I didn’t have long, so I kissed her. I loved the smile that wouldn’t go away once you gave her what she wanted. I hope you do the same. Don’t tell her she’s clingy or obsessive. It will destroy her. She just wants your love and your time. She just wants you. Never make her feel like a burden for simply loving you. You should feel grateful that she even loves you in the first place. I mean, she’s just so beautiful. Not just her looks. Not just the way her eyes sparkle and the way she bats her eyelashes to get what she wants. Not just her cute laugh. It’s the way she really looks at you when you speak, its the way you catch her staring at you, it’s the way she sings so loudly in the car, that you can’t help but be annoyed but also admiring her, wondering how on earth you were so lucky that she chose you, it’s the way she can’t go very long without touching you, it’s the way she always wants to wear your clothes because even when you’re apart, she can still feel close to you, its the way she tells you that nature reminds her of you. It’s the way that she looks at the world. It’s her mind. It’s everything. She’s everything. But all I ask are these things.. Create a safe place for her to talk to you about anything. She never had many people to talk to about her problems or her thoughts, be that person for her now that I can’t. Make sure she knows shes beautiful. Tell her constantly, make her sick of hearing it. But at least she knows, at least she knows how you see her. Listen to her when she speaks, remember all the dates, remember the little things and surprise her with it. It’ll warm her heart to know you cared enough to remember the things she thought you wouldn’t care enough about. She’ll remember everything. She’ll ask you questions about yourself just so she can keep them in the back of her mind until one day its useful. She wants to know you. She never wants to stop learning you. If you force her to watch a scary movie, let her cuddle up to you and cover her eyes when you know there is a scary part coming up. Never make her feel like what shes feeling is invalid. She will never speak about her feelings again if you do. And she’ll let it rip her to shreds. Be honest with her. If you’re not wanting this anymore, then tell her. Don’t lead her on because once she knows the truth it’ll ruin her to know that you weren’t always happy. That she couldn’t do that for you. She cares more about other people than her own. So make sure you can really give your all to her. Its about time someone does. She loves the feeling of being protected. So if someone stares at her the wrong way, be protective. She wants to feel safe. I hope you make her feel that. Most importantly, love her. Love every part of her. Her emotions that are like on and off, her fears, her insecurities. Just love her now that I’ve been forbidden to. Love the parts of her that shes scared to love herself, the parts of her shes too scared to show anyone else. Be honored everyday you have her. I hope you don’t have to wake up everyday in fear that this could be the last day you speak to her, like I did. I love her but needs stability. Be good to her, please.

To the next one that loves her (via myowninsanity)

thegoodvybe

the-poetic-broken-masterpiece

It was always you. Even when you left, it was you. When you told me that you never wanted to be with me, it was still you. When you lied to me and said you weren’t going to that dance for her, it was still you. When your sweet texts became one word responses, it was you. When the kissing and heart emojis disappeared and became “read at 7:03 pm”, it was you. When you spent more time with her than me and said you were “just friends”, it was still you. When you danced with her while your shirt matched my dress, it was you. While one of my best friends stood outside, his tie matching her dress, and I was trying to look in every possible direction but at you, it was still you. When I walked out of that dance at 11:02 pm and almost threw up in the snow, it was you. It was always you. Because once upon a time… It truly was you.

But it’s not you anymore; I’m just reminiscing. // 5.30.16 (via the-poetic-broken-masterpiece)

iammockingjrel

I thought what we had was enough.

I wish I could take away your pain, your fears I wish my feelings were enough to kiss them all away. But it wasn’t and I guess it will never be.

I miss hearing your voice and I miss listening to your stories. I miss the way you fanboy with Gaga and Beyonce and I miss the way you make me feel that they’re part of my life too. Because now they do (can’t help but sing Formation, which greatly reminds me of you) I miss your texts, your sweet everyday reminders. I miss you. Oh god, I miss you.

I miss sleeping at night knowing it’s your voice, the last thing I’d heard. And I miss waking up in the morning knowing there’s you sleeping soundly waiting for me to come home after work.

But you are afraid, You are not ready, you said.

I have no choice but to respect that. We stopped. And it pains me a lot because I felt the feelings you had for me. And I wish i could lift both of us, I wish I could stop the fear in yourself. I wish I was enough. I wish we were enough. But it’s not like the movies. This is the reality and I must accept that. I still want to show I care, and I would do it everyday to prove to you that I can wait without assurance. I can wait until your ready even not for me. But until you’re ready to share yourself again. Until you’re ready to let someone in again. But you asked me to stop, so I stopped.

It’s still you after all. There are nights where I would just think of you. Wondering how your day went and what you had for lunch. And countless little things I encounter each day which remind me of you. I see you everywhere. I close my eyes, and you’re still there.

I am moving forward now. It will not be an easy road. I know that there would be days, hard days. I would still wonder and I know I’d hate myself because I’d still think about you. But I know there would come a day where I’d wake up with happiness in my heart. I won’t forget you because that’s impossible. I can only live each day knowing somewhere out there, there is you. The person I once crossed path with but let each other go but I’d remember all our happy days together. That’s what matters.

But now as I wrote this, I’d feel every pain until it hurts no more or until I’d live through with it. You hurt me but I’m not angry, I’m in pain and it’s not okay because even if it hurts right now I’d get through this.

I wish you’d find the happiness you deserve and for me, I wish I find the acceptance and the chance to be happy again soon.

You gave me happiness within the numbered days and I’m grateful for that.

I saved you. You killed me.

Six Words Story

#quotes #thoughts

It's a war in my mind.

Six Word Story

#thoughts

I held it in, keeping the brave face I'd always been taught to have. No one could know how much that hurt.

#thoughts

Sige. Wag ka pang matulog. Tingnan mo pa yung mga pictures, videos at messages niyong dalawa. Alalahanin mo pa lahat ng masasayang moments niyo na magkasama. Tama yan. Saktan mo sarili mo, palungkutin mo sarili mo, paiyakin mo sarili mo. Mag wish ka na sana bumalik ang lahat sa dati. Yung dating kayo na masaya, na okay.

#thoughts

psych-facts

There is a disease, fatal familial insomnia, where you eventually stop sleeping and then die.

(via psych-facts)

iloveyou-24seven

We had a pretty damn good relationship. It was a perfect moment where both of us were in love with each other and all the exes I used to date blur my mind. Your face was crystal clear and the one I can never forget. You were the best thing I’ve ever had. All the words you write to me in a love letter helped fade away the marks where I used to hurt myself for not being good enough. You made me feel like I’m on top of the world. You held me high.. And then I fell.. You never catch me like you used to. Here I am down in the pit of depression again. Our relationship now has an expiration date. The only date I can remember where we left off.

ctto: strawberrytelle