Sweet Peach Pie

Nanako ichijo

[sweetpeachpiefoundation]

Sometimes when I’m reading, or walking on the streets, or whatever I’m doing, I just feel so hopeless and alone out of the blue, my eyes tear up and I can’t read anymore. I can’t concentrate on what I’ve been doing and I forget everything but how hopeless and lonely I am. For the past four years, ever since I left the land of freedom I’ve been miserable. Every single day. I think about how I don’t belong here and can’t be needed or likable here. It’s not that I haven’t been trying. On my day off I take trains and go out to galleries, museums, vintage stores, movies, anything I could find I might like. If I make some close friends I would feel better. I don’t know why I can’t find one single person who would like to go out and do what I do with me. I don’t mind being alone. But I don’t mind some companies too. I want to see, I want to feel, I want to touch, I want to live. I know I am very blessed and lucky in some ways, like I have a family who cares about me and who would never let me starved or give up on me. And I am truly deeply thankful to them for that, but I still find it difficult to trust them from the bottom of my heart and just be open. I can’t talk to them like I talk to people at work or people in general. I feel like a different person when im with my family. I’m very spoiled. I am surrounded by all the material stuffs I need and still I often find myself getting bored. Never be satisfied. Never be happy. I want to talk. I want to laugh. My apartment is built on a very busy street but I am hearing silence. I am getting into a bad loop. I want to stop counting what I don’t have. Tomorrow may not be the best day of my life, but I hope it will be nice enough to feel fine.

[sweetpeachpiefoundation]

When I first went to la I had a soul-cleansing experience. I was little scared and nervous because it was my first trip ever, but I also found myself feeling calm and happy in this bizarre city I just landed. I stayed at Hollywood inn that night. It was the only place I could book and afford after realizing at lax that I need a place to stay. I was free and not scared anymore. After I left la I’ve been always looking for a chance to have that LA magical thrilling feelings no matter where I am. When I see the sun in the sky I walk out of my room and light a cigarette pretend like I’m walking on sunset boulevard. Santa Monica pier. West Hollywood. Guns and roses. Chateau mermount. Echo park. Korea town dream bbq. These are all dream to me. Los Angeles I fell in love. This kind of love I never be out of. Today and tomorrow I would still be thinking of the memories I adore and trying to find a reason why I had to wake up from the most beautiful dream I ever had.

[sweetpeachpiefoundation]

Nanako

Nanako Ichijo

I make music or joke or whatever you want to call them

[sweetpeachpiefoundation]

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[sweetpeachpiefoundation]

I love America and Lana Del Rey

I read an article that Kim Gordon is talking about Lana Del Rey and I laughed my fucking ass off. She doesn’t even know who she’s talking about. As one of fans of Lana Del Rey I’d like to explain about her “persona” to those who don’t know who she is.

First of all, the music video she mentioned is Ride which is one of the most popular/iconic videos in her career. In this video she’s playing a singer who hangs with old bike riders. She’s being wild and the world of this song/video is so American which is represented by the gas station, pop she grabs, bikes and American flag. I see this song/video as one of Lana’s own stories. She’s a struggle boarding student in NY dreaming to get away. She made it to west coast and Lana was born. I knew this story so when I first saw this video everything made sense. Nothing’s gross in this video. Lana’s playing America. Catch up. Don’t be lame.

Ride is the first track of Paradise edition which was released after her first album Born to Die. Born to Die represents Lana before she made it to Los Angeles, her home in my opinion. It’s sung about her very American struggles/delusions. She sounds like a little girl in a small town in America who wants love and fame rather than a girl who’s already got everything. Ultraviolence is where she made it to west coast. She actually got everything now. Yet her dark sides are written. Tones are much lower than Born to Die and she’s actually woman now, Lolita no more. Honeymoon has European atmosphere but she left California air as we can smell by Freak or Terrence Loves You. Many songs on this album remind me of her unreleased songs when she’s still Litzy Grant. Especially Swan Song, Salvatore, The Blackest Day are alike to those unreleased ones. And finally Lust for Life. She’s finally getting real free and trying to leave her dark era which got most of her life so far. All the songs are elegant but still had a sense of darkness and struggles she had. She’s all smiling on this album cover and that tells everything.!

She’s definitely changing but even in a great way. She never tries to be a different person which is why she still has so many old fans and still increases new ones. She’s one of the most iconic artists who can symbolize America and I won’t let no one call that gross. The world you call gross is actually the place where you live in. Drugs, suicides, “daddy issues”, all the America’s dark sides are represented by one artist Lana Del Rey. She’s a part of America.

[sweetpeachpiefoundation]

There’s magic in California

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Time pasts faster in summertime

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Don’t listen to this

[sweetpeachpiefoundation]

Sharing my new #zine “I GOT A SERIAL KILLER IN MY MIND pt.2” from my bedroom. I’m talking about stuff. So many writings only about US, fake online therapists, my old fur coat etc. also I draw a map of Los Angeles introducing my favorite places such as #medmen, #shamrock , #Ktown, #Inglewood, #theFriend, #Stories, #Zebulon and much more. also I wrote about guess who that is yes, the last legitimate rockstar on planet #kirinjcallinan . On this one I interviewed myself. It’s been a year since I made my first zine and I went through so much, good and bad, I always have so much to say but never knew how so I always write everything down. And this is the recap of the past year. Kind of. I hope you read this but it’s ok if you won’t. I did this for myself. But if you have money to spend/don’t know how, let me know. I’ll send this to you wherever you are from my bedroom. Thank you for reading. Now go check Kirin’s new album !🦔🍄❤️

[sweetpeachpiefoundation]

I left only physically never spiritually

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Dreamy Dreaming music video

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I don’t know how to deal with love and happiness

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I don’t like having a body. I don’t like the responsibility and fragility that comes with it.

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I just put on my old fur coat for the first time this winter and it still has smells from the past and I’m having a breakdown. Smell of my old house in Chicago, coach perfume I woar to a date, cigarettes. All the good memories are still living in this one coat. I don’t know if I could ever wear this again. I don’t want anything to cover these smells but I know that memories won’t die. But I feel like they will at least in this coat. I like this black fuzzy warm coat but not sure if I should wear it anymore. Someone said winter is the new summer. It doesn’t make sense and I don’t get it. It ain’t smell same in summer and winter.