sweetvanilla @sweetvanilla7070 - Tumblr Blog

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You want so badly to be pure again, you call yourself a doll, a lamb, an innocent little thing

But the color pink doesn't wash away sin,

And rosaries don't make you any less scared of God

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Just another waste of time and effort, of flesh and bone. Caught in the numbing turmoil of everyday existence

Looking in the mirror reveals the husk of my former self. It’s hard to believe, I used to be alive

I will live in blissful unawareness as if nothing could take me from the moment

Innocence seems to last forever

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“ You need to be in touch with your inner child ”

No thanks

She was touched enough

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Life feels like bdsm, but I forgot the safe word

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The unfed mind devours itself

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The hatred in your heart consumes me, I find comfort in your hostility, let me terrify you with my forgiveness, as I dance to the rhythm of your brutality, embrace me in the arms of your wrath, allow me to bask in your disdain, resentment met with adoration, each fragment of my broken mind an ode to your outrage

I will sing to the song of your scorn, for every mark left by your poison is a reminder of your beauty

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The earth opened up and swallowed me whole. Its sharp teeth tearing at my flesh. My mother once told me that the ones that disobey God will be sent down to the deepest pits of hell, the zone where traitors are sent to be punished.

Ptolemaea. The sounds of tortured souls ring in my ears and stab at my ear drums. I haven't stopped praying, even when God ignores my cries. I ask the same question constantly.

As my limbs are ripped from me and I am broken down into nothing. I ask

“God, why don't you love me anymore ?”