Obsessed

Call me Swift (she/her). Yeah, I'm obsessed. Read my posts to see what it is stealing my heart and sanity this time.

[papayajuan2019]

do you ever want to say some bullshit

[swiftcreaturestilllives]

Do we ever not want to say some bullshit?

[kosmogrl]

what nobody tells you about weekends is that it’s already monday

[kosmogrl]

[orteil42]

am i losing the drive to create things for an increasingly alien and hostile world whose mounting taste for fascism feels like a cold metal vise around my skull or am i just lazy and unmedicated and looking for excuses

[notgoodwithcomingupwithusernames]

So how is everyone’s Korean lessons going so far?

[learningkoreanlikeadumbasss]

I know the alphabet. And uh. I didn't used to know the alphabet.

[swiftcreaturestilllives]

I watched a video. Don't know what the video said, but I watched it.

[learningkoreanlikeadumbasss]

I need to be trapped in a cutesy hellscape whose whole purpose is to get me fluent in korean.

I need to be held in place by an invisible force that asks "빨강 or 파랑?" And points to an adorable shivering creature wearing a red shirt. And when I answer 파랑, a loud bang resounds like the thunderclap of a wronged god.

There is blood on my face. On my clothes. In my mouth. It is 빨강. So, so 빨강.

I am told we need to try again.

So we do. Over and over and over.

Until I learn.

That would help me a lot, I think.

[sylveaugust]

Dude. That’s literally Duolingo.

[learningkoreanlikeadumbasss]

Should I get back on Duolingo?

[swiftcreaturestilllives]

Everyone hates on Duolingo, but it remains the only unnatural force of nature to compel me to learn shit.

I shall crochet the owl, and put it on my chair like an altar, only to increase my fear, and thus my vocabulary along with it.

[firstethicalpisces]

girl nothing is ever gonna be all the way together just enjoy the bits and pieces #yourfragments

[swiftcreaturestilllives]

New Korean goals:

Be able to write the topic 1 exam (level 2) by the end of the year.

That means:

2000 words (10 new words a day for 200 days + words and phrases already in my Anki deck)

Lots of listening practice (30 min to 1 hr comprehensible imput)

Basic grammar patterns (Go! Billy Korean course on YouTube. 1-2 videos a day. Then I'll switch to ttmik when I run out of materials.)

And reach level 50 in Duolingo just for the lore, although I might not dedicate too much time to it compared to everything else.

Around 2 hrs of studying a day sounds doable, but I'd be satisfied with 1 hr. I'll try to do more on the weekend, but I'm a full time design student, and the course is kicking my butt, so we will see.

Wish me luck. I'll update to track my progress, with a list of my new words for the day, and an hour breakdown of my time.

[swiftcreaturestilllives]

So, the reason I created this blog is probably stupid, but here goes. I wanted at least someone else to witness my absurd amount of hobbies and obsessions and not think I'm crazy.

I find my passion for all of my love and passion waning because the world is stupid and dull and grey and no one cares. I have a deep need for validation, and everyone is too busy to be kind.

I created this blog to keep me going with stuff I love even if it's equivalent to screaming into a void that never whispers back. Meaning, I doubt likes will fill my need for validation.

But at least it's something. Something that's mine. Evidence that my little life matters enough to deserve a post.

So, here goes. My current interest is learning Korean. It's been seven months. I know 350 words. I am around late A1-A2, and life has dulled my passion. Turns out, no one cared whether you are learning a language or not. Some think it's useless, some think it's a weird power trip. Some people think it's some sort of fetish because they cannot see past their own pessimism. People can love things without it being awful in some way, surprisingly.

I never thought of giving up, but the loneliness slowed me down for sure. I wished I was further along. I wish it every time I put on a drama or listen to a song and I can't understand. My heart aches for it.

Time to throw my thoughts and my journey at the internet instead of people who don't care. Let my aching heart get relief of sharing without the irl world killing the passion.

Stay tuned for random, boring study updates. Because when I really get into a hobby, I get in deep.

[willgrahamscock]

I forgot to lock in at 4 years old!!! life ruined

[adhd-vibes]

i need to change my whole life in one day. watch out world. i'm about to rearrange my furniture and cut my hair and develop new yet fully formed healthy habits all in the span of 24 glorious hours. i will also be buying groceries.

[swiftcreaturestilllives]

Same. Happens about every two months. Just finished writing out my new habits and rearranging the furniture.

Wish me luck with my new old endeavors and I flip the pancake that is my life, only to end up with the same side on top in two weeks.

[papayajuan2019]

i'll make it that deep

[kosmogrl]

unfortunately “learn to sit back and observe, not everything needs a reaction” will never be me because I care about everything and I’m also easily ragebaited

[swiftcreaturestilllives]

I will forever be the dog barking at every mailman, and I'm fine with that. My house needs to be kept safe, ya know?

[kosmogrl]

it’s such a weird feeling too…

[kosmogrl]

the day is gonna end anyway and your warm bed will be waiting so you might as well do the hard things and not let them ruin your day

[kosmogrl]

this is unironically how I push myself to do everything I dread

[swiftcreaturestilllives]

Oooooooh. I like this.

[swiftcreaturestilllives]

Does anyone else fear your first social media post? I do want to share stuff and find new friends and stuff, but I'm afraid.

I feel like I don't have the most basic shred of self confidence to actually share the things that matter eg, my language learning obsession, my art obsession, my snake obsession, my plant obsession, my .....

You get the point.

But I crave connection more than I fear posting. So here I am, making my first post.

If you see this, maybe we can be friends, and be obsessed about life together.