I don’t get help because I am the helper.
I’m sure I’m not the only person who can relate to this. You’re the friend who helps everyone, gives them advice when they need it, tells them they’re perfect when they feel ugly, and help them with their relationships even though you’ve never been in one yourself. But then the time comes around for you to be sad, for you to need help, and they’re not there to give it. Sure, sometimes you may not tell people you need help when you need it, but when you do tell everyone just ignores the fact and continues on with their lives like you don’t matter. And then the next day they come to you for more help.
I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even care if I get their help or not. I wouldn’t even know what to do if they did offer help, I’ve never been on the other side of the relationship and I would feel out of place if I was. I’ve become better at dealing with my feelings and problems myself rather than telling anyone or even anything.
At some point, you don’t even want help anymore, even if you need it, because you’re so far gone into your role that you can’t see yourself getting help. You get to a point where you refuse other people’s help because you don’t want to burden them, because you’re the person that’s supposed to be burdened by others. At some point, you become afraid of getting help.
Hey. It’s me.
Terrified at how much truth this holds.
