Sword Of Dorkness

Monster girls, cryptids, and spooky art. Shop, support, and find me elsewhere

[swordofdorkness]

Your lock screen could use a monster girl. 👻📱

The new Monster Girl Phone Wallpaper Bundle is officially live on Etsy!

The bundle includes six original spooky pinup designs, each prepared in three different screen ratios for a better fit across a wider range of phones. That’s 18 high-resolution PNG wallpapers altogether.

Featuring:

Velma — Hex on the Beach

Moira — Eyes Up Here

Nova — Party Crasher

Gillian — No Swimming

Seraphina — Summer Rocks

Lilith — Jersey Girl

Shop the full collection HERE!

[mayakern]

2026 is the roughest year my small clothing store has had… maybe ever.

i don’t want to go into the nitty gritty of it all or try to dissect all the many things that have gone wrong because i’ve already done that and no amount of missteps that i’ve personally made rival the Big Reason We All Know: i’m an indie artist and designer that is dedicated to creating size inclusive, ethically made clothing in a world that seems determined to make that impossible for someone who is not already independently wealthy.

i haven’t talked about this publicly until now, but this year devin and i had to take substantial pay cuts just to keep the business running. we even skipped a few paychecks and seriously cut into our savings to make sure the business survived, and it’s still a struggle.

money is tight for everyone (me included) and the online attention economy is the worst it’s ever been—and for a small business that relies almost entirely on internet word-of-mouth to makes sales and pay the bills, that is a disastrous combination.

i’ve honestly reached a point where i feel bad even trying to post about my store because of how bad things are. it feels wrong to try to sell non-essential items in a world that is so hard. even if i love and believe in them. even if i know they are a net positive in the world.

everyone deserves clothing that makes them look and feel good, and that was made to last by people who were properly compensated to make it, regardless of their size. that is my core ethos running this store, and that’s what keeps me going. because i love and believe in what i do, even when it’s a struggle.

it feels silly, sometimes, to have so many big feelings about clothing—but i guess it’s normal to care about something that has made up the majority of your life for an entire decade.

i don’t really know where i’m going with this. a more astute sales person would probably include some photos of their wares at the end with a call to action and a link to their store, but right now even thinking about doing that here makes me feel gross.

i guess during a time when i feel so pressured to Get Over My Feelings and be a salesperson i want at least one moment that is just for my feelings.

[mayakern]

it’s 11pm on a friday night and i don’t have the words or the spoons to express eloquently how meaningful all of your kind and thoughtful words have been

so for now i will just say: thank you 🧡

[swordofdorkness]

Please support this talented artist however you can, even if it’s just with a reblog.

[swordofdorkness]

Monsters deserve their hot-girl era, too.

Meet the Harem of Horrors: a growing collection of monster girls, cryptid cuties, supernatural pinups, and truly terrible puns.

Here we have Moira, our easily distracted mothwoman, and Velma, a succubus enjoying a well-earned Hex on the Beach.

Follow for more monster girls, cryptids, spooky pinups, and terrible puns. If one steals your heart, the Harem awaits through the link in my bio.

Which monster girl should join the Harem next?

[swordofdorkness]

Christmas in July just became a Slay Ride!

The SwordOfDorkness Art TeePublic shop is on sale through July 26, including shirts, mugs, stickers, magnets, totes, and assorted nerdy nonsense.

🎄 Shop the sale here!

[swordofdorkness]

Velma heard I had a Ko-fi and naturally assumed someone was buying her coffee.

Instead, she discovered Color Me Cryptid Vol. 1: a downloadable 12-page coloring zine featuring five original monster girls, their delightfully questionable biographies, and full-page line art ready for your pencils, markers, or crayons.

Meet Velma, Lilith, Moira, Nova, and Seraphina. Color them responsibly—or don’t. They certainly wouldn’t.

Available now on both Etsy and Ko-fi.

Every character and illustration was drawn by me!

[pinklocksoflove]

[swordofdorkness]

Oof.

[swordofdorkness]

Apparently YouTube has imprisoned Nova at five views, which seems rude.

Come meet the alien party crasher before she beams up the algorithm.

[swordofdorkness]

Nova has crash-landed into Hot Monster Summer! And apparently she’s giving Velma some competition.

She heard there was a party.

Nobody told her no.

Would you let her crash yours?

The full Party Crasher collection is available HERE.

[swordofdorkness]

Hot Monster Summer has begun!

Meet the crew of the Harem of Horrors:

🔥 Velma Shade – sarcastic succubus

🌊 Gillian – ignored the “No Swimming” sign

👽 Nova Lux – came to Earth to party

🌙 Moira Gleam – lovable mothwoman, easily distracted

Who’s joining YOUR summer?

The full collection is available HERE.

[swordofdorkness]

Every lake has a “NO SWIMMING” sign.

Gillian has never considered that to be a suggestion worth following.

New Short on YouTube.

[swordofdorkness]

Velma’s idea of a relaxing vacation is sitting poolside, sipping a flaming drink, and emotionally devastating strangers with unsolicited honesty.

New Short on YouTube.

[swordofdorkness]

Cryptid convention vendor hall headcanon:

• Mothwoman sells art prints

• The Jersey Devil runs a sticker shop

• The Mimic is somehow both a vendor AND a booth

Anyway, I turned this concept into a short video

[swordofdorkness]

Have you ever looked at a moth and thought, “Needs more woman?”

Meet Mothwoman: cryptid, heartthrob, and probable reason your porch light won’t stop flickering.

Watch the video

Looking for more cryptid cuties, monster girls, and supernatural sweethearts? Visit the Harem of Horrors.

[swordofdorkness]

I’ve been slowly building up a collection of character artwork from my D&D campaigns, and I finally put together a short showcase featuring five of them.

Whether you’re into fantasy art, tabletop RPGs, character design, or just enjoy seeing original characters come to life, I hope you enjoy it.

Full video on YouTube:

[swordofdorkness]

My tablet is in the shop and I am learning that my entire personality was apparently stored inside one glowing rectangle.

Anyway, new video:

[swordofdorkness]

Three vampires.

One beach party.

You’re absolutely not making it out of this night.

[swordofdorkness]

Velma is still a succubus.

Yes, that kind.

The kind who will ruin your week, your sleep schedule, and your ability to make good decisions.

She can tell why this keeps happening to you.

Again.

Medusa upgraded her lighting and her patience.

You think you’re immune?

You think you’re built different?

Look at her sunglasses and tell me that with a straight face.

Mothwoman noticed you noticed.

You weren’t subtle.

You never are.

She’s already in the air.

They told me not to let them out again.

They’ve been in the dressing room.

Arguing.

Posing.

Adjusting straps.

Ignoring common sense.

And now they’re back.

Harem of Horrors has officially reopened.

From moody wall art to things you can carry, sip from, or hang somewhere that absolutely does not match the rest of your decor.

There are prints.

There are canvases.

There are totes.

There are mugs.

For the cryptid enjoyers.

For the morally questionable.

For the “hear me out” crowd.

The shop is open.

No peeking.

Unless you’re planning to stay.

🔗 https://haremofhorrors.etsy.com