H34D 0F F1N4NC3

coworkers dni

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

sigh... obligatory intro post.

i'm suffix jones, head of finance at site-██. and by head of finance i mean the only employee in my branch. not a woman. not a man. figure it out.

update: only 3FF1C13N7 employee in my branch because these interns cant do shit.

specific coworkers on my dni list include taurice, clef, kondraki, and iceberg. if I haven't named you assume youve been included. spesific coworkers I would like to exclude from my dni include my interns because I need to verbally beat them.

UHM. UHM. EVIL ACCOUNTANT GO. basic info.

27

aroace

they/them

used to do ballet

TOO MUCH hair! like 6'3" worth of hair! theyre 5'11" so lots of hair!

they have a possum!!!!

regularly catfishes guys for their money

in terms of me, I'm mossy ( @sininply-a-moth ) and. uhm. I'm a minor, he/they 4 me

no freak asks

TAGS.

abandoning my tag system idgaf anymore but for older stuff:

Polaroid captioned [char] - mention of other characters/ocs !

Filed.png - answered asks !

things 2 do b4 i quit - general tag !

standard dni ! proship, radqueer, bigots, etc.

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

guys i cant leave to go and handle the front companies if every time I come back the office space is fucking trashed?? you are all adults can we please lock in

[stay-chill-vibes]

REBLOG IF YOU ARE HELLA BORED AND WOULDN’T MIND SOME CURIOUS ANONS.

[diymedschoolnerd]

im about to go to bed, ask me anything and I’ll answer when I get up tomorrow!

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

what are my employees doing.

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

worst meeting ever

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

fml. guys i know andreev seems nice but when he kills someone dont fucking say i didn't warn you

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

bro who just dm'd me asking me to stop catfishing old men

[ask-underwood]

Is it JJ? Because he found his way into my communications channels. I'm unsure of how to respond.

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

tell him to kill himself

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

does anyone need 30 open collar white shirts that are stained pink at the back

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

bro who just dm'd me asking me to stop catfishing old men

[ask-underwood]

Do you think it's possible with getting away with having a social media account even if the higher ups tells you not to have an account?

Asking for a ahem friend!

Mm... sure. All the anomalies got away with it.

[thenegotiatorevanesce]

ahhh i see no wonders higher ups dont care anymore, wonderful!!

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

no one gets paid enough to care about what their subordinates are doing online, except maybe the information control people

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

I know you guys dont check your emails. so im saying it here. can all my interns please be at my desk at 1 pm. all of you. its important.

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

why are none of the branch heads ever locked in. I was looked through some old paperwork to try and figure out where some money went and I found a picture of the last finance head in cat ears and a maid dress???? fully grown man pushing 50 by the way. multiple embezzlement charges if he lived to face the fucking consequences

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

no one even appreciates my work here. the first breach should've taken me out

[agentlament]

Nice ponytail horse boy 😚 we sooo should split a toke sometime🤗

-@vexwaves

Not a horse.

But thank you! And sure, the moment this shift ends. There is nothing I've been thinking about more the whole day, ugh. Work days, am I right?

[vexwaves]

Ohhhh YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH work sucks!! Thank god I've been giving all my superiors cancer so I don't have to worry about getting fired for spending the entirety of the physics departments budget on Classico tomato sauce 🙏🏻🙏🏻😝😝😝😝☮️☮️

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

you've been what.

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

Suffix, why the fuck are you feeding SCP- 524 with your husband's stuff?

- one of SCP- 524's caretakers

idk what youre talking about. im not cleared to go near any anomalies. ignore all the times I've gone near anomalies and you'll see that im a model employee

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

I tapped one of my interns on the shoulder where I wasn't standing and all of them turned to look at me. guys. im an accountant im not qualified to deal with this

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

nevermind I need to stop smoking

[swung-4nd-m1ss3d]

I tapped one of my interns on the shoulder where I wasn't standing and all of them turned to look at me. guys. im an accountant im not qualified to deal with this