The Little Things...

Mohini Ufeli-Ezekwesili | Multimedia Storyteller | Currently Managing Editor at Paystack | Sharing reflections as I grow through life 🌺

[sybil-m]

Christmas. When family comes around ❤️

My big bro, Viddy.

[sybil-m]

Ikeja.

Lagos pops different on some days 💚

[x3nshit]

one thing i need to start living by is “become the thing that you want” if i want friends who throw themed parties maybe i should start throwing those parties. if i want someone who writes me love letters maybe i should start writing letters for the people i love. if i want to hang out at museums and pretty cafes maybe i should invite my friends to these places. and maybe even then i won’t find the kind of people i want to be around. but then i would have become the exact person i want to be around. and maybe that’s good enough.

[sybil-m]

This ✨

[sybil-m]

Took a break from work to make some photos of my Love as he tended to our plants this evening.

I’ve missed just photographing as the spirit leadeth.

[sybil-m]

The relief/can-do-ness I feel when I've planned out the priorities of my week, and then my day, and I have clarity on what I need to do first and next...I tend to forget the feeling if I haven't done it for a while, then I get back on the wagon and phew! Def gotta keep this up 👌🏾

[sybil-m]

“Once in a while you’ll meet someone who makes it so easy to be yourself that you’ll wonder why you ever pretended to be anything else.”

—

note to self (via

c0ntemplations

)

I cried.

(via rbkhbrynt)

Merr #truth

[sybil-m]

I'm grateful for the love and friendships in my life right now, for this exact reason (and many others). I'm realizing that it's so so so important to surround myself with people who see me and love me for who I am, while still encouraging me to do and be better (and the same the other way). It's a beautiful balance ❤️

[zitasaurusrex]

Hey.

I'm serious when I say I think the sentiment that kindness requires "zero effort" is harmful.

The idea that kind is a thing you can be innately, without having to think or feel anything about it, leaves a gap in the fence where the other idea "if I have unkind thoughts or feelings, I am by nature a bad, unkind person" can slip through.

Listen. That's bullshit.

Being kind to other people means paying attention to the effect your words and actions have on others, caring about it, and trying to make those effects better. That's work.

If you have a nasty thought about another person that annoys you and you contain the impulse, hold your tongue, and let it go? That was effort.

If you took time out to really think about something you wanted to say and make sure it would have its intended result without causing accidental harm that you wouldn't have noticed if you went totally off the cuff? Wow, that took some work!

If you were tired and angry and full of hatred but you still did the dishes so your housemate has something to eat their breakfast off of in the morning, that wasn't easy.

I don't think there are magical "kind" people who never have a mean thought and are always selfless and pure. That would be exhausting and impossible.

I'm not a "nice person," I'm a nasty, bitter, angry, sad person who tries to have good leash manners, control my worst impulses, and not jump on strangers because they don't deserve that shit from me.

I don't always succeed, but I'm trying. I'm trying and it's worth it.

[fairyfawm]

[transcript with italics removed below the cut]

Hey.

I'm serious when I say I think the sentiment that kindness requires "zero effort" is harmful.

The idea that kind is a thing you can be innately, without having to think or feel anything about it, leaves a gap in the fence where the other idea "if I have unkind thoughts or feelings, I am by nature a bad, unkind person" can slip through.

Listen. That's bullshit.

Being kind to other people means paying attention to the effect your words and actions have on others, caring about it, and trying to make those effects better. That's work.

If you have a nasty thought about another person that annoys you and you contain the impulse, hold your tongue, and let it go? That was effort.

If you took time out to really think about something you wanted to say and make sure it would have its intended result without causing accidental harm that you wouldn't have noticed if you went totally off the cuff? Wow, that took some work!

If you were tired and angry and full of hatred but you still did the dishes so your housemate has something to eat their breakfast off of in the morning, that wasn't easy.

I don't think there are magical "kind" people who never have a mean thought and are always selfless and pure. That would be exhausting and impossible.

I'm not a "nice person," I'm a nasty, bitter, angry, sad person who tries to have good leash manners, control my worst impulses, and not jump on strangers because they don't deserve that shit from me.

I don't always succeed, but I'm trying. I'm trying and it's worth it.

[end transcript]

[sybil-m]

This really resonated with me. I’ve often wondered if I was unkind because I had unkind thoughts. But there is a difference between feeling or thinking something and transmitting it out into the world. And that effort, sometimes small, sometimes great, to be kind, can make a world of difference, and I should factor that into how I see myself - a person who puts in the work to be kind.

[longreads]

The Gisoo Tree - Longreads

Cutting hair, a mourning, a protest, an act of defiance.

“The teenage girl stands at her mother’s grave, a middle-aged woman who was killed by the Iranian police during recent unrest in the nation. A white veil hangs around her neck. Her eyes shine with the same rage I’ve seen in the eyes of people who have lost a loved one during the Islamic regime’s brutal crackdowns. Her hair is shorn and she holds her long tresses in her hand. The other hand is obscured by gladiolas on the grave, but I can imagine the scissors she has used to cut her hair. She is from Kermanshah, the ancient city on the foothills of the Zagros Mountains. She knows — like all Iranian women — that to mourn is to cut her hair.”

Mojgan Ghazirad’s latest essay, “The Gisoo Tree,” is essential reading, spotlighting the urgent protests in Iran and the cultural connection between hair cutting and mourning. Read it today!

[sybil-m]

This was such a beautiful read ✨

[soft-butch-cassidy]

depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

[yournudemom]

Circulating. Seasonal depression is creeping around now.

[shadowjag]

Lets keep this moving

[bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190]

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again but it is absolutely an example of civilizational inadequacy that only deaf people know ASL

“oh we shouldn’t teach children this language, it will only come in handy if they [checks notes] ever have to talk in a situation where it’s noisy or they need to be quiet”

[raginrayguns]

My mom learned it because she figured she’ll go deaf when she gets old

[manyblinkinglights]

My family went holiday SCUBA diving once, and a couple of Deaf guys were in the group. I was really little and I spent most of the briefing overcome with the realization that while the rest of us were going to have regulators in our mouths and be underwater fairly soon, they were going to be able to do all the same stuff and keep talking.

[tell-the-stars-hello]

The only reason some form of sign language is not a standard skill is ableism, as far as I can tell.

[emoracreations]

For anyone interested in learning, Bill Vicars has full lessons of ASL on youtube that were used in my college level classes. 

https://www.youtube.com/user/billvicars

and here’s the link to the website he puts in his videos:

https://www.lifeprint.com/

[naurielrochnur]

Update: you guys this is an amazing resource for learning asl. Bill Vicars is an incredible teacher. His videos are of him teaching a student in a classroom, using the learned vocabulary to have conversations.

Not only is the conversation format immersive and helpful for learning the grammar, but the students make common mistakes which he corrects, mistakes I wouldn’t have otherwise know I was making.

He also emphasizes learning ASL in the way it’s actually used by the Deaf community and not the rigid structure that some ASL teachers impose in their classrooms

His lesson plans include learning about the Deaf community, which is an important aspect of learning ASL. Knowing how to communicate in ASL without the knowledge of the culture behind it leaves out a lot of nuances and explanations for the way ASL is.

Lastly, his lessons are just a lot of fun to watch. He is patient, entertaining, and funny. This good natured enthusiasm is contagious and learning feels like a privilege and not a chore

And it’s all FREE. Seriously. If you’ve ever wanted to learn ASL

[sreegs]

As the staff post about ad-free tumblr continues to get thousands of notes telling staff to fuck off in the tags, I wanna remind you that this website's days are numbered. Tumblr is still unprofitable and by some modern-day miracle none of its acquiring companies pulled the plug on this money pit. But it will happen if it continues its trajectory.

Whether you like it or not, Tumblr needs to make money off you somehow in order to stay up. It either serves ads or asks for money to use it. This has been a paradigm on the web longer than many of you have been alive. It's Tumblr's job to make money right now because it's well past its grace period of being a black hole for cash. This has actually always been Tumblr's job, since it is a corporation, but that's capitalism for ya.

If you want Tumblr to be here for free and you want to continue to use it, you do yourself a disservice by opposing any changes Tumblr makes in order to pay for its costs. When this site finally goes belly-up then you're gonna be Tumblr-less until whatever startup takes its place and the cycle repeats itself.

If you think it should just ask for donations Wikipedia-style, remember that if and when that happens, there will be users repeating the same tired bullshit about giving Tumblr any money.

[to-be-okay-deactivated20221112]

“A year from now you will wish you had started today.”

— Karen Lamb

[sybil-m]

Heading to the East for Christmas, with Chuba and the fam.

We’ve been here for about two days and it’s been so lovely to disconnect from the busyness and modernness of Lagos.

It’s been lovely taking the time to connect with family and hear my own thoughts.

I’m considering dropping a temporary peace-out message on Instagram and staying off it till we’re back in town in the New Year.

Grateful for peace and quiet.

✨

[sybil-m]

Blessed to have found someone I can easily create joy with. Yesterday marked 6 months of being married, today marks 6 years of dating. Cheers to more ease-filled moments, my precioussss @chubaezeks ❤️🐥 📸: me (I’m really enjoying being our official photographer!)

[sybil-m]

Meet the beautiful, resident Queen of @akankaspaces - Yiang 😍😍😍 And if you’re a cat person, she and her four rambunctious sons have a TikTok account @QueenYiang 💕 https://www.instagram.com/p/CXire8pLfSV/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sybil-m]

Aunt Carmen’s House. Sharing calming, décor vibes because that’s where my mind has traveled to. At that stage where I’m looking forward to the official end of work and the release that comes with. I made these photos of my aunt Carmen’s house, which is up for sale in Agbara estate. It was such therapy just walking around and photographing these art pieces that she’s kept since before I was ten years old. And her eye for gardening! 😍😍😍 So if you know anyone who’s looking to buy a lovely home on the outskirts of Lagos, I’m down to do an intro. Have a peaceful end of year, folks! 💕 https://www.instagram.com/p/CXYUxjIswXl/?utm_medium=tumblr

[librarycard]

honestly i just think we all need to slow down

[librarycard]

like. im serious. when was the last time you read a book and paid attention to every word and actually tried to absorb what you were reading. when was the last time you saw a piece of art and considered the hours it took to bring it into fruition. when was the last time you closed your eyes when listening to an album for a first time and kept them closed until the final song ended. have you gone to the park lately just to watch the birds fly from perch to perch? have you stopped to count your blessings?

[sybil-m]

✨