rating homestuck characters based on how they’d comfort you
- he’s a silly little man, prone to emotion and gullibility. you would confide in him and he would cry with you. 7/10
- as much as I would like to believe otherwise he would probably just go “oh. that sucks” and show you memes he saved while quickly swiping past the depression-based ones. 6/10 tho
- she wouldn’t say shit but if you could request a crumb of Hug she would bake you a whole fucking loaf 7/10
- probably genuinely good advice, she’d prolly try and find a solution to any of your problems and then comfort you. 8/10
- brain can’t handle emotion it would short circuit and he would feel bad too and you could just sit it out with eachother. the company helps tho, 6/10
- she fucking goes :( and you’re too busy wondering how she conveyed that in speech to be sad 3/10 but actually 8/10
- alike rose, but instead of hugs she consoles you and tells you how your problems are actually being not as serious as you make them out to be. comforting in a strange way, 6/10
- apologies and side hugs, offers to play games with you to cheer you up. can’t deal with your sad emotions but knows how to bring out the happy 7/10
- let’s you vent and that’s abt it hes like “that thuckth dude” and you go “yeah” and that’s it 4/10 he doesn’t judge and you can tell
- pretty much exactly the same as jade except the comforting is “wanna draw sumthing to vent??? maybe express yur frustrations thru violence?? :33” 5/10
- logically helps you through your struggles and let’s you get shit out of your system, unclogs the pipe but doesn’t clean up the mess 5/10
- “nanny nanny boo boo” 0/10 huge bitch
- does genuinely try to console you but is too flustered by your open display of emotions to do much more than cheer you up at his demise, solid 6/10
- she is the type to go “aw no!!!! let’s go eat fucking kale and do yoga 8)))) glub” 2/10
- he bites his lip and awkwardly looks away and pats you like a dog and goes “hush it’s okay” but means well 4/10
- let’s you lie in the horn pile gives you pies wants to see a motherfucker happy because SMILES ARE MIRACLES 9/10
jacobvanloon
