BEWARE THE MAN THAT HOLDS YOUR HAND

26 / He/Him / England Calliope for Let's Read Homestuck Icon credit: Adox

[toothwormfactory]

[toothwormfactory]

3 AM izutzoomies

[avpdkaneki]

someone: do u want to go do this thing w me

me: ……………in theory

[hall--o--ween]

[worthikids]

Witches On Tinder

[burymeinpink-remade-deactivated]

i eat a lot of bread because it’s soft and i deserve it. also i am gorgeous

[heavensickness]

[zine-stuck]

Come one, come all! 

We are about to stream a showing of the Pro8lematic Faves Fanzine! The actual zine will be posted later for fully, publicized viewing. 

Until then, join our commentated launch show! : X

[pavelow]

I would not survive a vibe check right now

[skinnykooked]

“Hello and welcome to my Tumblr. Here you probably won’t find any basic info about me like my name or what I usually like to do, but you absolutely will find all my deepest darkest secrets and emotions along with my body measurements”

[fuck-philip-banks]

the wise man at the nudist beach, when discovered by an acquaintance, covers not his dick but his face

[swaglexander-the-great]

i feel like diogenes fucking ghostwrote that last bit

[egberts]

wish life was as simple as stardew valley where i grow some vegetables and then some dancing apples build me a green house

[bismuth]

“steven universe: the movie” takes place 2 years in the future!!

[awwcutepets]

I submit one (1) hamb leg for your consideration

[koirakoirana]

time is hard

[aberrate]

[mjalti]

need a cheat day from having to be human and exist all these years

[dude-of-electricity]

me:

my brain: oh? you’re a chime?

[dude-of-electricity]

a week ago i saw this on facebook and thought it was fucking hilarious and now i cant get it out of my head. ill be sitting on the bus or be alone in my room and just say “oh? you’re a chime?” out loud

[sugarelixir]

So Famitsu weighed Link in comparison to apples and the pan on the side of the apples will go up if you have eight apples.  BUT if you have nine apples, the pan will slowly go down.

Someone: How much do you weigh? Link: Like 8.5 apples I guess.