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Hey~, welcome to my writing blog! You can call me Eden ♡
Please keep in mind that some (most) of these fics were written at the very beginning of my writing attempts since 2016 and are just not it… I might try to fix some of them later but for now I kind of wanna keep them as a memory and to look back to see how I improved (or not lol) over time
This blog has some nsfw content so minors pls dni with nsfw posts. I do use community labels but still…
You can also find my other writing blogs: @synthetickitsune (k-pop fics)
Feedback is always appreciated! ♡
your aib fics are so good. i binge read them all. 10/10 fr
are you planning to write more for them?
hello! thank you so much!! ♡
i'd love to write more - or at the very least post those that im currently gatekeeping while they wait for editing, but i cant really tell you when that's gonna be, sorry :((
really wanna write a demon!niragi x angel!reader fic where he slowly taints and corrupts his little angel or something but that guy would have zero patience for going slow and it makes me sad
Summary: People have likened Chishiya to a cat for as long as he can remember, from his classmates to most recently Kuina. It's nonsense, of course. Or is it?
Word count: 2.6k
Chishiya’s been told that there’s something cat-like about him more times than he can count. He doesn’t care, not really.
They’ve told him it’s something about his smirk, the cheshire grin, the lazy stretch of his lips that makes people around him feel inferior. When he smiles like that, he looks like he knows something the others don’t, they say. A cat that ate its mouse happily. He studied the expression in the mirror after someone told him for the first time but he just doesn’t see it. It doesn’t matter. As long as it has any sort of useful effect on people, he’s okay with it.
If it’s not the smirk, then maybe his eyes. He has noticed very early on in his life that a lot of people get fascinated by them. It’s a mystery, even to him. His eyes are pretty ordinary in both shape and color. He doesn’t understand why they seem to draw people in as much as they do but it plays to his advantage in this strange country so he can’t really complain.
He’s been told it’s his behavior as a whole that gives him the cat vibe. His subtle laziness, the way he functions in short bursts of explosive energy when he needs to and then goes back to slowly strolling around. He never takes the stairs if there’s a working elevator. Of course he always keeps himself fit, especially since coming to Borderland, but he doesn’t see the appeal in running around and wasting his energy. He didn’t see it then and certainly doesn’t see it now.
They also told him it’s because of the way he always sticks to the walls and places where he can, literally and not just figuratively, look down on others. He doesn’t have much of an explanation for that one. Well, sure, in Borderland it’s something he does for survival and safety - elevated places allow him to see the bigger picture and watch everyone else get killed, cheated or otherwise betrayed while he can stand back and relax. Same goes for sticking to walls and such - no one’s gonna stab or shoot you in the back if the only thing behind you is a wall.
There are many more irrelevant points that people used over the years to liken Chishiya to a cat. He’s already forgotten most of them but one keeps popping up in his mind. Especially lately.
It’s not the fact that it was Kuina who told him. He’s heard it before but she reminded him of it and recent events made him think about the remark more than he’d like. Somehow her words always pop up in his mind as he goes about his day and does the thing.
What Kuina said is that her cat used to do the same thing she says Chishiya does - it had its favorite spots that it’d use to sleep or hide in and would get mad if, for whatever reason, it couldn’t get there. Back then he scoffed at her and told her off. Now, however, he hates to admit that she just might have had a point.
It’s irrational and infuriating.
This whole situation started off pretty innocently. There was a big wave of newcomers to the Beach. It happens sometimes. The Hatter needs a large army of people to collect cards for him, die for him. It’s only natural that he takes in all kinds of trash. Most of them die within a few days anyway.
And on one of the days that they brought in these people, Chishiya felt like observing life in the former resort from a higher ground. It was fun sometimes. If he was lucky, there would be someone worthy of his brief attention. Individual to be used by him for another plan he might come up with. Mostly, though, it was just a way to pass time.
This particular evening he felt like the balcony on the one but the last floor would do. It had a nice overview of the lobby and since he needed to extend his visa anyway, once Hatter and the executives play the siren to gather the crowd, he won’t need to move an inch.
Yes, that place would indeed be perfect for tonight.
Imagine his surprise when he found someone has already taken the space for themselves. He was sure he’s never seen you before. He didn’t care to remember much about you but he did anyway. Not because he’d be that interested in you, although he must admit it’s smart what you’ve done. Barely anyone thinks to observe the inner workings of Beach and the new arrivals. Anyway, no, you got stuck in his memory purely because he felt this irrational aggravation that someone was occupying his spot.
As much as he doesn’t care about humans, he cares about his comfort when he can get it. And changing his routine is not comfortable.
Well, it wasn’t worth getting worked up about. It was probably your first night here and you got lost or something - no one ever comes here otherwise, except for him. It’s too far from the bar.
He simply walked past you and found himself another spot. It didn’t feel right but he didn’t care enough to be bothered by it.
But in the weeks that came, he found himself feeling… something. He wouldn’t say he was properly bothered, but it certainly wasn’t the natural state of his being where emotions just pass through him. If he was honest with himself, which he seldom was in regards to these things, he’d find that he wouldn’t be able to decide whether the thing that irritated him more was that someone kept stealing his spots or that it bothered him.
Every time you were where he wanted to be, he suppressed the wave of mild irritation and walked by to a different hiding spot. Maybe it was good that there was a ripple in the never changing pond of his life. He felt something, and it was almost fascinating.
He could, however, admit that it was suspicious and potentially dangerous that you seemed to invade all of his favorite and less favorite places. You shouldn’t be able to sneak around as easily as you did. He had a feeling you must already remember him about as well as he remembered every little detail about you from the constant passing glances and fleeting meetings. Still, he did not approach you.
Not even when he found you in the security room, late at night when there was nobody to keep track of what was going on at the Beach. He couldn’t pretend that he was simply just passing by. Your eyes met and he knew you knew. You gave him a nod and left the room. That was the first time you’ve surrendered the spot to him. And when he realized that you might not be completely useless. The tension between militants and Hatter was growing, perhaps he could use one more pawn.
Nonetheless, things remained the same for some time. You kept walking past each other, finding your chosen spot occupied by the other. When he leaned against the railing and felt heat lingering there, or when he climbed to the roof and found a blanket left behind on his spot, he ignored the gentle tug on his nerves.
Gentle. If his anger and irritation before were a rumbling before a storm, now it wasn’t more than a single dark cloud in the sky. He must have gotten over this childish phase. He had no claim over those particular spots, after all. It was ridiculous that he should get worked up by someone else occupying them. So he thought whatever has come over him for the past weeks has successfully evaporated. He remained neutral in his feelings towards this fact, although maybe he’d admit a little bit of satisfaction.
It was only after another period of time - was it a month, weeks, who could tell in this country - that he realized that his previous feelings had not actually subsided into nothing.
When he first took notice of the weird change that was happening to his body, it’s not an overstatement to say he panicked for a second. Just slightly, merely a brief furrowing of his brows. He pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against. It was still warm when his back collided with it, ready to stand there for a while and watch the people of the Beach in their natural habitat. Strangely enough, the lingering warmth of the wall somehow permeated his hoodie and skin and settled in his chest.
He felt calm.
He dismissed it to be a matter of basic biology. Warmth helps to calm human beings in certain cases. Humans are social creatures. Combine these two factors together and the effect your lingering body warmth had on him was completely natural, in the cold sense of the word. It was just biology. Something he had no control over because his body was physically made to react in a certain way to certain stimuli.
It was more than that, though, wasn’t it? Not to mention that had he not shut down the truly rational part of his brain to protect himself, he’d see many flaws of his train of thoughts.
The usual emptiness inside of him that felt, well, empty, was different. He felt at peace with it. Not that he’d usually feel bothered by the void. He’s long since grown used to it and didn’t really think that much about it until something pointed right at it as if to say - ‘Look! That is not a human, that is just an empty shell!’. That’s what the strange warmth did, but instead of alarming him to his own alienation from his fellow humans it felt almost comforting. As if the emptiness was okay, as if he wasn’t missing anything. He frowned again and left for his room. He needed to think.
As much as he did just that though, he wasn’t able to figure out anything. Complete and utter apathy might not have been that bad after all.
Why would he feel like this?
It was frustrating. Not enough to mess with his scheming or anything, but it surely was strange to have his brain occupied with something he could do zero things about. Or could he? Perhaps. After he thinks about it some more.
And yet no matter how much he waited for the feeling to go away, no matter how much he analyzed its source and cause, he always arrived at one single conclusion - he was human. An empty husk of one, sure, but still a human being with human needs, emotions and instincts.
Humans are social creatures, they need company. He had Kuina, of course, and he mingled with the other occupants of the Beach, yet it seemed that wasn’t quite what his body and the instinct-driven parts of his brain longed for. To be reminded of his own humanity was irritating as much as it was intriguing.
He bided his time, he knew it and you knew it - and he knew you knew and so on and so on. The slight shift in the atmosphere was easy to notice for you two alone. By the time he realized what’s going on with him, you were already aware of that same process happening in your own body, although acceptance was much easier on your part.
Now that he understood his own feelings, he felt somewhat ashamed almost - like he was outsmarted by you. This one loss, however, he’d allow himself. Feelings were beyond him anyway, nothing more than an interesting chemical experiment to play around with until his next plan could move to another phase. Who knows, maybe you could play a role there. Perhaps he will decide soon.
Tonight was a successful game night for both of you. His lips twitched as he found himself vaguely remembering something about fate as he strolled through the halls that would lead him onto the roof. Once again, he walked slowly in what his acquaintances in the real world would call a cat-like manner. He was purposely taking his time. He seemed to do that a lot lately.
Sure enough, you were already present on the spot where he always sat - and where he meant to sit tonight, although it was hardly a surprise you thought to do the same - blanket folded under you to fight against the cold. You turned to him when the doors closed and frowned for a second, seeing he stayed and didn’t walk away. He gave you a wave and a little raise of the corners of his mouth. You turned your head.
The hollow look in your eyes told him most of what he needed to skip the small talk. A hearts game, no doubt about it. Those were hard on most of the people here. Chishiya found them fascinating. At least some of them. If the other players were solid, he himself needed to come to the roof and breathe and think. Analyze.
Humans were so different from him.
He invited himself over, sitting close enough to you that your body heat mixed with his. Legs dangling in the air over the edge of the roof, your thighs and sides were barely not touching. You didn’t flinch away, he noticed. Then again, there was hardly a reason to act shy now. This wasn’t really that different from leaning against surfaces where the other’s warmth lingered.
“Diamonds?” you spoke up, breaking the silence of the night. He looked at you from the corner of his eye.
“What makes you think so?” he asked back. To answer a question with another is impolite, but it’s not like anyone cared anymore. It was kind of refreshing.
Anyhow.
It’s easy enough for him to read you, but the other way around - that would surprise him. As for you, after a hearts game, you were usually like this - lifeless, hollow. You were more likely to walk around and look for the warmest place - a place he left warm - to stay. Unless, like today, you headed to the roof. He supposed you would do that if the game ended badly.
After diamonds you’d be on edge or in a good mood, depending on the difficulty, spades would most often leave you exhausted for the day, and clubs uneasy. It seemed you weren’t much of a team player.
“You look bored,” your eyes shifted to look at him without your head moving. He scoffed; you were right. Then again, not an impressive guess this one.
“The others died?” he asked in turn, voice devoid of emotions. As always. He knew you’d know he knows.
“Some of them,” your voice sounded eerily similar to his as you said the words, “But I just figured out the solution to the game. One that would allow all of us to survive.”
He hummed in response, not saying more. This was a better display of why you could get a role in his plans. Did you think about different ways of finishing the games every time? Was that why you seemed to enjoy hearts games the most? Not bad. Interesting, even. Maybe he could try it too next time.
Neither of you spoke a word after that. The silence felt more natural. You both spent too much time with memories, lingering traces of the other that meeting in person now felt surreal and out of your respective comfort zones. Yet there was something strangely comforting about it as well.
Watching the buzz of life underneath your feet and the starry skies above your heads, you shared the silence and heat your bodies produced. Perhaps tonight there was no need for words at all.
I have read your one shot "Tremors" and I am soo full of so many different feelings! Reading it I felt that you put a lot of thoughts in it to make this relationship as realistic as possible! Niragi is such a complex character and you just got it right! I read it and I thought to myself "Yes, this is how it would be with him". With his anger issues, his low self-esteem, a relationship that has to balance between intense, caring and toxic, dangerous. I had to hold my breath because I was so scared of what could happen. We know what he is capable of. You just caught his personality, his social competences and everything and it felt so real. You have a very good writing style, I was caught in the story from the beginning on. Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us :)
Thank you, you're very kind! I do usually think a lot about the character I'm writing about and how to make the story work without changing them too much so I'm really happy you think so! ♡
And Niragi in particular is so interesting to me as a character, I could literally go on forever about my theories and thoughts about him lol
You’ve been close to death before. Who here hasn't? This world isn’t particularly forgiving, so it’s only to be expected.
Still, you’ve never been this close and getting closer.
Putting more pressure on the bleeding hole in your stomach, you brave on. This isn’t how you meant to die. No matter how ruthless the games and this whole experience made you, how it all changed you, you still longed for happiness. And dying cold and alone wasn’t part of it. One would think that among the bodies that littered the streets there would be someone barely alive to keep you company at least, but that’s just your luck.
Then you hear a wet, disgusting couching. Great, that sounds promising. You’re not sure for how much longer you’ll be able to move, so you try to hurry.
What’s good is that the person in question isn’t too far and his wounds seem pretty bad. He’s been shot like you, and clearly you’re both at the end of your life spans unless a miracle happens. The bad news is who this guy is.
Then again, it’s the end of this world, seeing as only one last game remains. It’s most likely going to be your end too, so why not let go of all the hard feelings. You barely have any strength left anyway and you’d like to use it to breathe for a while longer.
You lower yourself to the ground, leaning for support on the car Niragi’s resting against. You sit right next to him, ignoring his scoff and venomous ‘fuck off’. Fuck him, though, so you move even closer, letting yourself fall over him and resting your upper body on his lap and stomach. His blood soaks your hair. You don’t care, it’s a mess anyway. Being like this feels pretty good though. Who would’ve thought.
“The fuck you’re doing,” he growls, his chest rumbling with blood slowly filling his lungs. You suppose he’d like to remove you from himself, but neither of you have enough strength to really move.
"Dying, the same as you," you shrug, or try to, "Don't wanna do it alone."
It's too late to hide now, to pretend. You're scared. You don't wanna die, period, but the prospect of dying alone is even more terrifying. While you were never more than a casual acquaintance or reluctant ally with Niragi, he’s a piece of familiarity. He’s not a good person, but he’s been decent enough to you. And you figure that here, on the brink of death, it doesn’t matter if he sees you open and vulnerable.
“Should’ve killed you when I had the chance,” he sighs, as exaggerated as his busted lungs allow. His wheezy breathing sounds terrible. You almost feel sorry for him.
“Should’ve fucked me too, now we’ll die without ever having fun,” you chuckle. Ah, the memories. Maybe you were more than acquaintances. Where’s that line anyway? He huffs.
“Where’s the fun if you can’t fight back,” as he speaks, he lazily trails one of his hands up your thigh. You can tell it’s a lot of effort.
“I wouldn’t have fought back before either,” you hum, “You’re an asshole, but you’re hot. Back then and now.” His hand pauses on your leg, resting on your thigh before getting anywhere inappropriate.
“You know, I always wondered how you were in our world,” you continue. Blood loss is probably making you too chatty for your own good. It feels comfortable though. He’s warm even as he’s bleeding out on you, you on him, your blood mixing with his in a puddle under your bodies. “I’d like to meet you there. I’m curious if we’d be friends.”
“You hate me,” he deadpans.
“You think I’d come to die together with you if I hated you?” you roll your eyes weakly, too afraid they’d really get stuck up there with how weak you were feeling, “The point is me hating you, not myself. I mean it’s not like I like you, but I guess there might be potential if we met under different circumstances.”
You close your eyes. You really shouldn’t have talked that much, but at least it’s taken your mind off things. He’s really warm. Soft, and his hand feels nice on your thigh. You let your head swing closer to his body, gently rubbing on his chest. His blood smears on your cheek and he hisses as you brush against his wound.
You feel him move, his hand lands on your shoulder and you think he might push you away. Yet instead of retaliating he just wraps his other arm around you. His hold is loose, and you guess there’s not much time for either of you. What a shame. You’d love to tease him.
Faintly you hear explosions somewhere both far away and all around you. A voice informs you about something, but you only make out the key words over the sound of Niragi’s barely-there heartbeat.
You make your choice, and you wonder where you’re going to wake up.
To request a prompt fic, just send me the genre, number of the prompt & character who you’d like me to write for. It’s okay to combine more of them too! ♡
🌠 AUs (please specify if you want it to be fluffy/angsty/whatever!)
Coffee shop
Flower shop
Guardian angel
Hanahaki disease
Horror
Hybrid
Mafia
Soulmate
Supernatural/Monster
Yandere
🌺 Fluff
Accidental touches
Being held after a long day
Coffee
Comfortable silence
Finishing each other’s sentences
Flower language
Hanging out with their friends
Matching outfits
Notes randomly found
Pillow fort
Protecting them from teasing
Rainy day
Reassurances
Sharing a bed for the first time
Sharing a hobby
Sharing secrets
Shopping together
Stargazing
Thinking about them when they’re away
Touch starved
Trying a new thing together
Whispers
Witnessing them being whipped on accident
“Can I touch you?”
“Can we talk? What are we? What are we doing?”
“Come closer.”
“Don’t go. Not yet.”
“Forever is a long time, are you sure you can handle it?”
“I can’t sleep, can I stay with you?”
“I hoped I’d meet someone like you for a long time.”
“I like the way things are now.”
“It’s okay, I’m here.”
“No, let me do it.”
“This reminded me of you.”
“Why can’t we stay here forever?”
“You don’t count - I love you.”
“You make me feel alive.”
“Your heart is beating so fast right now.”
🍂 Angst
A ring left behind
An empty side of the bed
Being given one last chance
Dying
Fears
Flinching away from touch
Hearing them cry in the other room
Insecurities
Jealousy
Nightmares
Reaching out without reaction
Rescue (- but is it really?)
Scaring them
Separation
Tears
The silence after an argument
Threats (- or promises?)
Understanding too late
Unfixable
Waiting, unsure whether they’ll come back
Words left unsaid
Words said too late
Yearning
“Can I hug you for the last time?”
“Come back to me if he hurts you.”
“I feel safe with you.”
“I hate this just as much as you, but we have to see this through.”
“I hope you’ll never erase me from your memories.”
“I knew you’d feel guilty.”
“It’s okay, I understand.”
“Just take me home.”
“Maybe it’d be best to just let go.”
“Thank you for being part of my life.”
“Thank you for trying.”
“Why should I trust you again?”
“You owe me much more than that.”
“You’re finally turning your back, but what about me?”
“You always knew this would happen, didn’t you?”
🔥 Smut
Body language
Bulging
Caught masturbating
Cumming into their pants
First to cum loses
Dacryphilia
Distracting
Dom and sub switching positions
Enemies
Exhibitionism
Giggly
Hands
Mirrors
Not allowed to touch
Pushing boundaries
Rings
Ropes
Rough and desperate
Sensory deprivation
Sexting
Slow and sensual
Sub and two polar opposites doms
Toys
Voyeurism
Wearing the other’s clothes
“Do you need help with that?”
“Do you want him/her to touch you?”
“Do you want to feel how hard/wet I am for you?”
“Get over here and make me.”
“I like being close to you. You’re so warm.”
“I’ll let you do anything if you just touch me now.”
“I said you’d get a reward, I didn’t say it would be letting you cum.”
“Keep that up and I won’t last.”
“No, I’m supposed to be making you feel good.”
“Show me how much you missed me.”
“You make a sound and it’s game over.”
“You’re not wearing anything under that, are you?”
“You’re the biggest turn on.”
🔖 Quotes & lyric lines (stuff based on these will reflect the vibe rather than using the quote itself)
I’m not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do.
His gaze touched me before his hands touched me.
You have always wanted to caress every monster.
I want to swallow you, have you melt into me and flow through my veins.
Look at us, alive and amongst the stars.
If only I could turn back time, would I have drawn out a future with you?
I confuse instinct for desire - isn’t bite also touch?
How could I have learned the road if I never looked at anything but you.
Now is the time to devour through the longing.
To love someone is firstly to confess: I’m prepared to be devastated by you.
When I first met you, that’s what I remember. I looked up at the sky and thought, I’m going to love this person because even the sky looks different.
I knew that you yelled “thank you” from the bottom of your heart until the end.
Don’t try to trap us in the word “love” because it’s a greed can’t be filled.
I was born and I met you and I have loved you to death.
I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.
I need to go find you / If I cry now, I might not be able to see you.
Our souls are so in love, but our humans keep getting the way.
But I would never kiss anyone who doesn’t burn me like the sun.
I wanted to hurt you, but the victory was that I couldn’t stomach it.
You will never find tenderness in the Devil’s eyes. What could he possibly look fondly at?
If I get to see you, I shall blossom in this barren earth.
Who wouldn’t want you? Whose most demonic appetite could you possibly fail to answer?
To jump knowing you will be caught is a type of mercy I have never known, yet always craved.
Because we’re young, we’ll regret tomorrow.
When I meet you after time passes / I’ll know (You protected me) / I’ll know (I desired you)
tremors is amazing!! i really love that the reader acknowledges that the relationship is not perfect and can't really say why they fear that Niragi might harm them at some point. reading it felt like being in such a relationship because i kept wondering myself - is he going to hit them? is he going to do it? what is going to set him off? but it also seems like Niragi is trying hard to be good and open up in a way (by showing them his game).
Thank you! You're very kind, you have no idea how happy I am to read your comment! ♡
And that's kind of what I was hoping to show! Idk, it just always seemed to me in the manga/series that Niragi must've been really lonely and craved some connection or to be accepted in literally any extent he could get.
Original request: Madison fluffy. fem!reader new timeline (?). “Madison its in home again. She remember everything. This is a new timelime. You still hating her because she hate you. But now, she’s home again And the first thing that you fell when you see her is her lips against your. In front of your mother, the supreme. In front of EVERYBODY. she don’t want to lose you again”
It was a lovely day. The whole coven was bustling with activity. New girls were moving in and chatter was heard everywhere. Everyone was so excited to start this new chapter of their life and share their gifts with their sisters.
After lazing around in your room and careful consideration you decided it would be safe to go check out what’s going on as your nemesis – Madison Montgomery – would most likely be holed up in her room anyway.
It wasn’t your idea for your relationship to be like this. In fact you always hoped you two would get along but she had different plans and now you wished she’d just get herself killed or abducted or whatever, just to not have to deal with her again. You felt a pang of guilt in your chest for such thoughts but really, your relationship couldn’t get any worse.
You walked down the stairs, greeting everyone as you went and smiled at how nice the newbies seemed. You saw your mother all the way down giving instruction and decided it you’d ask if there’s anything you could help with.
But as you were about to tap her shoulder, the main door opened and in stepped no one else than the person you wished to avoid the most.
Her brown eyes instantly bore into yours. Here we go again. You thought as she began strutting towards you. You stepped forward too, crossing arms on your chest, prepared to fight her on whatever topic she’d bring up. You opened your mouth to speak first but you were quickly shut up. By her lips on yours.
Your eyes widened in shock and terror as her hands tangled in your hair, pulling you close as she deepened the kiss. You were well aware that everyone around you stopped in their tracks, staring opened-mouthed at the scene before them.
Finally you returned to your senses and pushed her away only for her to envelop you in tight hug. You didn’t even know what to do!
“What the fuck Madison?!” You hissed, trying to get her to let go.
“I don’t want to lose you again,” she sighed, breathless, into your neck.
You gave your mother a confused look. None of you knew what was happening. But somewhere deep inside your soul you wished to wrap your hands around the blonde too.
Her hands travelled up your body. She rubbed your stomach, leaving a trail of kisses as a bonus, dipping her tongue into your navel playfully to hide her nervousness. It was futile attempt. It was obvious just how much she worried. But your thought of reassuring her were chased from your mind as her hands found their way to your chest.
Her touch was feather-light, gentle, her smooth palms sending shivers down your spine and lower. All with anticipation of what was about to come. She massaged your breasts, teasing your sensitive nipples by rubbing circles around them with her thumbs while she kissed up your sternum.
Then finally her hands reached your neck. She wrapped her hands around it, squeezing as little as physically possible. It made you chuckle how careful and loving she was with you. She truly was an angel. You looked into her brown eyes lovingly, with a hint of mischief.
“Delia, it’s okay. You won’t hurt me.” You smiled, running your hands up and down her thighs as she straddled your hips. She grinded against you gently, making you both moan out.
“I don’t want to cause you pain,” she bit her lip, dragging her thumb over your lower lip. Despite her uncertainty, you could feel her wetness dripping down your own folds which only served to arouse you more.
“You won’t,” you reassured her softly, “You don’t even have to use too much force, okay? Let’s just try it out – that’s if you want to, of course. I don’t mind if we don’t do it.” You kept on stroking her thighs, rubbing circles into her skin to make her relax.
“I want to, I’m just not sure what’s enough,” she admitted with a chuckle, looking at you for support. You shook your head and moved your hands to lay them on hers on your throat. You laced your fingers together, squeezing with enough force to restrict your breathing significantly but not to cut it off entirely. You shift under her, bucking your hips up to hers and moan with a deep hum. The pleasure combined with the difficulty to breath and her dominance over you, the whole sinful mix, was driving you crazy.
Her eyes clouded with lust as she squeezed tiny bit more, setting a slow pace of grinding against you. You gasped, throwing your head back, eyes rolling back. You let go of her hands, seeing as she was now fine on her own, and let them roam over her body. First you caressed her sides gently, a little reminder that you love her and she’s not hurting you. She seemed to appreciate it, leaning down to kiss you quickly, passionately, but even that was enough to take your breath again, she noted with a smug smile. You bucked up again with a happy mewl. You loved seeing her get more dominant more than anything in the world, glad that she was able to let go with you.
You slid your hands to her chest, stroking around her breast with your knuckles as your mind was getting hazy and clouded with pleasure. You hardly registered the soft, quiet pleads you were moaning out. She quickened her moves in reaction to your attention to her body. You ghosted your fingertips above her nipples, letting her lean into your touch, work for it, if she wanted it. She squeezed your throat in warning, reminding you who’s in charge.
You whined, hips moving in sync with hers. You were so close. She was like a drug to you and with the way she was acting now, you just wouldn’t last long. It was too much, the lack of oxygen, her intoxicating scent and delicious friction between your bodies. You would believe you died and were in heaven.
You disobeyed her wish once more however, only to move your hands lower. One you rested on her hip, squeezing the tender flesh and the other between her legs, stimulating her clit further, making her lashes flutter. She looked so beautiful, her eyes half-closed in bliss, moans and your name rolling off her tongue like prayer.
“I love you, Delia,” you choked out, meeting her eyes, focusing on them through the fog enveloping your mind. She responded only by whimpering your name, leaning down to catch your lips again, grounding her hips against yours.
Ecstasy flooded both of your bodies. She let go of your throat but you didn’t need oxygen anymore; you only needed her.
Original request: Blind!Cordelia (‘Delia)/Shy!OFC - “I can’t see you…” “I’m here…” “Speak up, little mouse…” (Bonus for OFC sneaking closer to 'Delia and lightly nuzzling into her hand when she’s got her attention all 'Not a mouse, maybe a loyal wolf though’)
No matter how much you argued with your girlfriend to let you help her around until you find a way to get her sight back, she refused. You admired her resolve and strength but at the same time you were worried about her. She wasn’t helpless of course, she was doing great all things considered. Still, it was making you uneasy to be forbidden from assisting her.
There was a silver lining though. You could spend your free time lounging in your shared room reading all the books your heart desired without having to deal with the girls. Not that you didn’t like them, most of them were just a tad too active and friendly for your liking.
Hearing the door open, you smiled but the paragraph you were reading was too intense to stop. Besides if Delia was fine without you the whole day, she’ll make it a moment longer.
“Darling?” She called and you raised your hand to shush her, momentarily forgetting about her state as you turned the page to finish the thrilling part.
“I can’t see you…” she whined playfully, realizing what was happening. She knew you and your reading habits well after all. If she was honest, watching you lazing around with a book was what she missed the most.
“I’m here,” you called quietly with a rushed exhale, relaxing after the drama of the scene was resolved. You looked in her direction and smiled shyly, admiring her lovely face without risking being caught staring.
“Speak up, little mouse,” she teased, walking towards you unsurely. She tried to help you break out of your shell, patiently guiding you as she herself struggled with some quirks of being introverted. So for her you tried to break the timid quietness of your voice, calling her again, this time slightly louder.
It was enough to find the couch and sit down next to you. She raised her hand and you brought it to your face, leaning into her touch as she stroked your cheek. “Not a mouse then… maybe a loyal wolf though.” She laughed, brushing a strand of hair away from your face.
You groaned, inching away from her touch but she was quick to cup your cheek again. “You’re just too cute for your own good, darling.” She smiled, making your cheeks turn red and shake your head.
“How can you make me blush even if you don’t see me?” You wondered aloud, shifting closer to lay your head on her shoulder.
“It’s not hard with your obvious crush on me,” she hummed, kissing the top of your head. You snuggled into her side with a laugh.
“Am I that obvious?” you whispered, mouth ghosting over her lips teasingly.
“Terribly so, my love,” she chuckled and let your lips melt together.
Summary: After a long day, no one is better at making you feel better than Cordelia.
Word count: 1.3k
You set your bag down and slid down the door until you sat on the floor. You were completely done. Absolutely done with humanity and everything concerning your species. You sighed deeply and closed your eyes to ease the stinging. It was just a long bad awful day. Your body hurt and begged for rest. You felt like crying with exhaustion, both mental and physical but no tears would escape you.
“Oh darling,” came a soft voice. You didn’t even hear her approach and when you opened your eyes, she was already kneeling in front of you, brown eyes filled with concern. Your lips turned up slightly as she reached out to cup your cheek. You leaned into her touch. “Hey,” you whispered. She smiled and scooted closer. “Hey. Rough day?” Cordelia asked and you nodded reluctantly. You didn’t want to tell her at first because she kept insisting you don’t need to work. You didn’t need to work but like hell you’d let her take care of everything on her own. You wanted to help in the household too.
She gave you a compassionate smile. “Let’s get you changed, alright?” She helped you stand up and kissed your forehead. She took your bag against your protests. “No more work for you today,” she tapped your nose as she took your hand and led you to the bedroom. You squeezed her hand and she returned the gesture, drawing little circles on your skin. She always put you first and days like this when you returned tired, she’d put all her effort into making you feel better.
You took off your sweater and leggings and she handed you your favorite comfortable pj’s. She scanned your body with her eyes first though, winking at you playfully. You rolled your eyes but your cheeks flushed and that was enough to make her step closer and hug you, kissing you sweetly. It was slow and sensual filled with comfort. Just what you needed. “I’ll fix us some dinner,” she informed when she broke the kiss. “Thank you,” you stopped her from leaving just yet, refusing to unwrap your arms from around her. You kissed her again softly, first on the mouth and then on her cheeks, nose, forehead. She giggled and lifted your chin up. “You deserve this and you must be hungry, we’ll have enough time after your stomach is full,” she promised and you let her go.
You took your time, relishing in the feeling of finally being home and free. You got rid of your make up and washed your face. You laid back on your bed for a while, just starring up and allowing your mind to slow down. You breathed in the scent of your home, of Delia’s perfume lingering in the air. You smiled. You still wondered how on Earth did you manage to snatch her for yourself. You weren’t complaining, never. It just kept fascinating you. You finally put on the clothes she gave you and stretched. Your stomach growled, and you thank God and Cordelia, mainly Cordelia, that she thought of your hunger in advance.
You stepped out of the bedroom and faint scent of jasmine entered your nose. You followed it to the kitchen where your girlfriend was just finishing setting up the table. Candles were all around the room, illuminating it softly. You gasped in surprise, making the blond woman look up. She smiled when her eyes met yours. She walked over to you and took your hand, kissing the back of it. “You look beautiful,” she said while looking at you lovingly, smoothing your hair back from your face. You shook your head with a chuckle. “You’re perfect,” you breathed out, hugging her waist. She hummed and tilted her head in thought. “I’m just a supreme,” she decided in the end and kissed you tenderly. “Supreme girlfriend as well,” you kissed her cheek, “and my angel.”
“That’s just the hunger talking,” she laughed and ushered you to your seat before setting a cup of tea and orange juice in front of you and another cup to her own spot. The rich scent of the herbal tea mingled with the jasmine in the air and you hummed contently, completely relaxed. She chuckled seeing your blissed expression and put the plates with dinner down on the table. She sat down next to you and watched with contained laughter how your eyes widened. “How did you know?” You exclaimed giddily. You couldn’t decide whether you wanted to kiss her or hug her first, jumping on your spot. On the plate was food you dreamed of eating your whole shift. “Supreme girlfriend is well put I guess,” she winked at you, kissing your cheek. “Now eat darling,” she reminded you softly when you tried to pull her into another kiss. You pouted but not for too long, too enticed by the delicious looking food in front of you.
You talked about anything and everything. She told you about her day and what’s new in the coven and you shared a bit about your day, not ready yet to rant about every little thing that upset you. She listened carefully, murmuring softly when you wanted her reassurance or she couldn’t hold her irritation in. She always made you laugh when she got mad at your coworkers, her reactions and imitations of them spot-on. And her threats to them, although so far only whispered in the safety of your house always warmed your heart. But it was only matter of time when she’d have enough and take revenge on them for making your day worse.
You took care of the dishes together, loading them into the dishwasher and made your way to cauch. You put on some romantic comedy but neither of you paid much attention. You were looking into each other’s eyes, lying on your sides. She played with your hair, twirling the locks around her finger. You closed your eyes and just enjoyed the sensation. She was so gentle, soon opting for running her hands through it and massaging your scalp. You hummed as felt the cauch dip and her body move closer. You wrapped your hands around her waist, still not opening your eyes.
She chuckled and kissed you. Her lips were soft and warm, welcoming. There was no rush and so you basked in the feeling, melting into her for as long as your lungs allowed. “You did great today,” she praised, cupping your cheek and running her thumb across the bone there, “I’m so proud of you.” She pulled you to her, resting her chin on top of your head, planting a kiss there. You sighed. Exhaled all your stress away and inhaled her calming scent. She felt like home, and she was. It didn’t matter where you were, as long as she was there, you knew it was a place you could call home. “I’m lucky to have you,” you chuckled, nuzzling closer to her. You pampered her neck with kisses, making her giggle. “Oh darling, you deserve the world and so much more.”
You stayed silent then, letting the nonsense chatter of the movie fill the room. You didn’t pay attention to it anyway. Your focus was on Delia and her skin under your fingers as you caressed her back and her warmth that seeped from her body. She stroked your side, drawing flowery patterns on your skin where she pushed the shirt of your pj’s up. She kissed your temple or forehead once in a while, genuinely happy to have you back in her arms. But it couldn’t compare to how grateful you were that you could be with her and walk by her side for the rest of your life.
You drifted off to sleep slowly, lulled by her gentle touch and whispered sweet confessions of love. And although your dreams were sweet, the reality was better.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ niragi + fireworks [post-borderland]
yes i'm late
The night is getting loud. As the world approaches the end of yet another year, people on the streets are getting wilder and louder, and even if there's still plenty of time until midnight, some of them are already shooting off fireworks. The pretty lights sparkle in the night sky, lighting up the night.
Niragi's never been one to appreciate things just because they’re beautiful. Yet for some reason, each New Year’s Eve he stands on the balcony of your apartment and watches the sky erupt in colors. He seems to be looking past them, though, lost in thought.
He’s never told you about the scars on his body, how exactly he got so badly burned, and you don’t push. You have your theories, of course. After years of knowing him, at times almost analyzing his behavior, you’re pretty sure you know - and you suppose he’s aware of it too.
You were fortunate enough to avoid the whole catastrophe that happened in Tokyo, but you were fascinated and read about every article and interview with the victims out there. Most of them, if not all, mentioned seeing fireworks. In hindsight, of course, it is apparent that that’s not what the lights were, but it explains a lot. It explains the lost, almost longing, look on your boyfriend’s face as he stares at the night sky.
You open the doors to the balcony and shiver in the chilly night air. You’re sure he’s heard you come out, but you still move cautiously to avoid startling him as you wrap your arms around his waist and rest your head on his left shoulder. After all this time, he still prefers you don’t look at the burned half of his face. He makes an annoyed noise when you resist his attempts to pull you to his side instead.
“Just a moment, I promise,” you whisper. You can feel him rolling his eyes. His body tenses and relaxes under your touch, as if it can’t decide whether to enjoy it or shrug you off. You hope one day he’ll learn to accept it. It’s not your fault his back is so comfortable and it feels so good to hold him.
Eventually though you relent and let him guide you to stand in front of him. He seems much more comfortable having you trapped between his body and the railing. You can’t really see him now, which you suppose is another bonus for him.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you like the fireworks so much and say it’s cute,” you hum as you carefully cover one of his hands with yours. He scoffs, stepping closer until your back is pressed against his chest and the railing digs into your stomach.
“Good thing you’re smart,” he bites back.
Another firework blows up in the sky, huge and majestic. It colors the world in hues of red for a few seconds, as if it was splattered in blood. You want to see Niragi, but he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to be seen. You’re grateful he’s accepted your presence at least.
“Are you thinking about it?” whatever it is, you ask quietly, softly rubbing your thumb across the back of his hand. He stays quiet for a few seconds.
“Doesn’t matter,” he responds reluctantly, and you don’t push. There’s tension in his voice and body that wasn’t there before and you feel vaguely sorry that you’ve asked. It’s not like you need to know every little thing about him, but you can’t help being curious - especially since this is kind of a big deal.
“Alright, but I’m here if you ever need to talk. I can just sit and listen,” you reassure him, again. Sometimes you’re tempted to try and count all the things you’re dying to hear about.
“You don’t need to hear about my fuck ups,” he sneers. In response you hum and tilt your head back to rest on his shoulder. He allows it.
“I don’t but I want to. I’m already yours, Niragi. I’m not going anywhere no matter what you tell me,” you try to look at him, but he gently takes your jaw between his fingers and tilts your head back down to look straight in front of you.
“Just watch the fireworks,” he doesn’t sound upset, which is rare and surprising and works well in making you listen to him.
He doesn’t speak afterwards, but one of his arms snakes around your waist and pulls you closer to him. He holds you tightly, possessively, and you wonder whether maybe you should’ve worded your response differently.
That’s one more question to ponder in the new year.
Could u write a Niragi x Chishiya work ? (idk if you do character character fics, but i wanted to ask! ^^)
Hi, thank you!
I'm not opposed to writing character x character, but I've never tried it so idk how it'd turn out haha. Do you have any idea for a story you'd like to see me try? ^^
Summary: Between your unspoken worries and Niragi proudly showing you the game he's been working on, something goes wrong and it's a mess. [real world au]
Word count: 5.7k
Warnings: mentions of abusive relationship, implied smut
The train shakes and you sway from side to side in your seat. It’s a nice day, the sun is shining and the breeze is gentle on the skin. Everyone has to be enjoying it somewhere outside because the train is almost empty. It’s a rare and welcomed occurrence.
You look out the window, barely able to stay still and control your bubbling excitement. You watch the building and trees pass by in a blur of movement. You watch the clouds, try to count the white cars, anything to keep your mind from wandering and imagining. It’s useless really. The only thing on your mind is him.
If you’re honest, it’s a little embarrassing that you’re like this. You’re not a highschooler anymore, and this isn’t a stupid crush. Your relationship is long established, long enough that you’d think the bubbly and nervous feelings one associates with new love would long since disappear, but that’s not the case. Maybe you’d be a little more accepting of the childish rush of joy in different circumstances, but as it stands it’s only been a week since you’ve seen Niragi. A week. And you have chosen to take some time for yourself. So there’s really no reason you should be feeling like a child about to go to Disneyland.
But there’s more to it, isn’t it? You sigh and lean your forehead against the cool glass. Feeling like a bubbling pot that got its lid taken off, you deflate in your seat, pondering.
Niragi’s been stressing over work again and he’s insufferable when he’s stressed. Not always, but usually. Sometimes it’s quite nice. He gets more dominant. And hungry. Always so hungry for you and your body. Fucking like rabbits is about the only thing that calms him. And you’re not complaining. If only that was it.
Other times, like now, he’s… well, not the same.
He gets more dominant as well, but in a different way. It’s almost controlling. And loud. All he does is yell and you can’t seem to do anything right. He’s a perfectionist. And whenever he’s stressed, nothing could ever meet his standards. He has a bad temper, you know that about him. You’ve always known. He doesn’t do too good of a job hiding it - if he’s even trying at all.
The point is, in times like this he’s actually scary.
He’s never hurt you but you’re not sure he wouldn’t ever do it.
Not on purpose. You don’t think he’d ever get violent with you like that. However, you can imagine it happening by accident. You’d say or do something wrong, or maybe just be at the wrong place at the wrong time when his frustration is at its highest and bam, your body would hurt and he’d look at you like he doesn’t recognize you. You can almost feel the sting of your cheek, your fingers touching the tender skin. He’d just stand there with a shocked expression, and he’d be shaking. Would he try to approach you? Would he apologize? Cry? Double down?
You can’t be sure, but just the reality of you being able to imagine the scene so vividly in your mind scares you. It’s not right, you know that. But he can be so sweet. He is sweet. He needs you and you need him. Maybe once you’re not so young and wild it’ll get better - then again, the clock is ticking.
Your phone buzzes and despite your gloomy thoughts you smile when you see it’s a message from Niragi. And then another one. He always gets so clingy when you’re not around. Apparently something came up so he won’t be able to make it to the station to pick you up. And he tells you to hurry. To go straight home. To text him when you get off the train. And to text or call him if you even think anyone is being creepy. You roll your eyes.
Niragi has a habit of being way too possessive and protective. Not that you mind, not really. Your social circle is tiny anyway, and more than anything you want your friends to be his friends too. It’s challenging, but you make it work. You’re more of a homebody too, and if Niragi suggests it and you do go party in a club, you’re more than happy to stay by his side.
And he likes it. He’s always walking around carrying himself like he owns the place, as long as he has his arm tightly wrapped around your waist. You must admit that it feels good to you too. It’s hard to feel wanted in this world. Niragi makes you feel that way.
That being said, it has its drawbacks. Should you get separated, things tend to get messy. For some reason he always acts a little off after he finds you. He drapes himself over you, he won’t let you go anywhere alone. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he needs to reassure himself somehow by clinging to you. Like needs. But that doesn’t make any sense, does it.
And if someone touches you, it’s over for them. Niragi always miraculously finds out and makes sure the person in question knows they’ve fucked up. It usually ends up either with you dragging Niragi away by force or the two of you getting kicked out after he started a fight. More often the latter. He’s really scary when he’s angry.
But so sweet when he isn’t.
As soon as the train stops at the station, you get off and text Niragi as he told you to do.
If you get here within thirty minutes, I’ll show you what I’m working on.
He always knows how to shift your mind to what you love about him. You’re out of the station and hurrying through the streets towards your second home right away. There are so many memories hidden behind each corner. The cafe you frequently visit and have Niragi tease you about the drinks you pick. The park where you so often walk and enjoy the sunshine during the summer and his eyes linger on you just for a second longer when you smile at him.
It’s so easy to forget all the bad times. The red flags.
You skip down the streets and smile at strangers you pass. Might as well spread the good mood in some way.
Few minutes later, you’re unlocking the door to the apartment building and running up the stairs. Another minute later you finally unlock the front door and step into the apartment. It smells like home here, more than in your actual home. You take off your shoes and turn to lock the door. Before you get to finish the task, however, you’re pushed against the door and there’s a firm, warm body on yours. His hands are already wrapped around your waist and his lips press openmouthed kisses to your neck. You shiver, chuckling.
“I missed you too,” you sigh, finishing locking up. You turn in his hold and Niragi wastes no time melting his lips against yours, tongue invading your mouth as soon as he gets the chance. You moan into the kiss and feel him smirk. He takes his time kissing you like he needs to make sure you’re real. That you’re still his. Remind you of his claim over you. You let him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
Finally he lets you breathe, but he doesn’t move away. He needs to breathe the same air you’re breathing, his forehead against yours. His eyes are dark but with a hint of softness. You raise a hand to his face, gently stroking his cheek with your thumb. He leans into your touch.
“We should really talk some more about you moving in,” he says. There’s a teasing lilt to his voice but you know better than to believe he doesn’t mean it. You know it’s something he’s wanted for a while and that he’s getting impatient. The only thing that’s keeping him from blowing up at you about it is, you guess, that you’re basically living here anyway.
“Missed me that much, huh?” you tease back, avoiding the conversation. You’re not in the mood and you know it would end in a fight. He knows too so he lets you off the hook. For now. You give him an hour at most, and in that time, you need to prepare yourself for whatever is about to come. Why are you so hesitant to move in anyway?
“You have no idea, baby,” he purrs and with one last kiss he pushes himself off you. You go unpack the few items you’ve brought with you. It’s true that you’re basically living here already. You have most of your stuff here, he let you - in a rare case of a compromise - reorganize the kitchen and bathroom so that the stuff you need is within your reach. The apartment already feels and for all purposes is your home.
At the same time you like the freedom and opportunity to escape his bad moods that having your own place, albeit shared with roommates, provides. But then again, his apartment has privacy, and well, him. What’s worse - his moods or missing him? You wish you knew.
You finish unpacking and change into more comfortable clothes before stepping out of the room to look for your boyfriend. You yelp when he catches you from behind, licking a long stripe up your neck. You smack his arm playfully but give him a stern look.
“I told you I hate it when you scare me like that,” you pout though he can’t see it with his face buried in your neck.
“I just want you to be prepared. The game is pretty scary, you know,” he hums against your skin, sucking a mark just under your ear. You gasp, and for once it’s not because of his attention but from the implication in his words. You know that the project they’re working on right now in his job is just some fps shooter, nothing scary.
“So it’s the one you’ve been working on this whole time? The solo project?” you turn in his arms, cupping his face in excitement. He nods and bites his lip, watching you gush about how much you’re looking forward to seeing it, listening to your praises of his hard work and dedication. He shushes you with another kiss, this one slower but deeper. You smile. He only kisses you like that when you make him flustered. Or that’s what you call it anyway because it sounds better than admitting he kisses you because he doesn’t know how to cope with whatever he’s feeling. To admit you’re sure that a kiss is not the first thing that comes to his mind as a reaction. You’ve noticed the twitch of his eyes, the slight strain in his smile.
It’s the same look he gives you before he beats a drunken guy that flirted with you.
Niragi isn’t very vocal about his feelings. He never talks about his feelings. Honestly, you think he isn’t really feeling them, pushing them all away until he blows up. You get it. Anger is safe. Anger doesn’t hurt him. But it isn’t very productive either.
He’s never told you much about his past, which is telling in and of itself, but from the scraps of information you’ve pieced together, you suppose you understand.
Still his serious communication issues cause problems in your relationship sometimes. Understandably. Which makes it even more surprising that you can’t say that there’s ever been a time you haven’t felt loved. He makes sure you know it, proving it with his actions rather than words. Your friends might tease you for it but you know they’re also jealous. For all his imperfections, you can’t imagine someone would love you as much as he does.
And maybe that’s the problem.
He pulls away and you smile warmly at him. He warns you that it’s not done and that there are some bugs and stuff to be done but you assure him you don’t care. You know it’s going to be as perfect as it physically can be. With how critical he is of himself, he wouldn’t allow his work to be anything less than perfect.
You study him as you walk through the apartment. He looks the way he always does, cool and unbothered but you see the little hints. He’s nervous. Of course he would be. You know how much time and effort he’s put into this alongside the projects for his work. Despite what most people think about him when they see him, Niragi is actually really smart. Like very fucking intelligent. It scares you sometimes - mostly because he’s also really childish and impulsive. Not the best combination.
“You sure you wanna see it? I thought you said you don’t like scary stuff,” he smirks. It makes you pause for a bit. This is the second time he warns you about it, something he never does. He hates having to repeat himself.
“Is it really that scary?” you ask, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. He cups your jaw and runs his thumb the flesh, almost daring you to bite him with his eyes. You don’t.
“Just a little bit,” he shrugs and it doesn’t make you feel better but you decide that this is really important to him so you’ll manage. He looks at you expectantly.
“Alright, show me then,” you nod at him and jump a little to look cuter. It must work because he smiles and shakes his head, his hand falling to the small of your back.
He leads the way to his home office. The blinds are closed. The room is dark, safe for the light from the screen. It’s clean, not a speck of dust to be seen, but messy with all kinds of cables and parts lying around. You remember he’s been talking about upgrading his computer for a while.
He sits down on his chair and you don’t need any encouragement to sit on his lap. One of his hands wrap around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder. It feels good. Safe. Domestic even. You feel yourself relax despite the curiosity gnawing at your nerves. This position is familiar and your brain is flooded with another wave of memories.
Why are you so on edge today?
His arm around you feels like home. The hours he’s spent holding you like this while you played a game on his lap, or watched him play, feel like liquid comfort. You could drown in it.
With his free hand Niragi controls the mouse, clicking away until the screen goes dark and the game starts. You jump a little when you hear music coming from the speakers. How did he do that? He chuckles, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.
“One of the guys helped me,” he explains as you mouth a silent ‘how’. You nod, remembering that one of his coworkers was dabbling in music, sound effects and the like even in his free time. Your friends are his, his are yours. No matter how few of them there is.
He explains the controls to you, tells you what to do and not to do unless you want to crash the game but nothing more than that. You listen attentively and immediately try what he told you in gameplay. Sometimes you feel him tense behind you, clench his jaw or sigh when he notices a mistake or something he doesn’t like. You do your best to reassure him, commenting on things you like instead. Or turning your head to kiss him. Distraction works the best.
So far it seems like a pretty standard game. The main character is a university student. You can’t see much about them as it’s in the first person pov. They are on their way from school now. The music playing in the background started off nice and pleasant but gradually it just keeps getting more and more ominous, hitting a crescendo when colorful fireworks erupt in the pinkish afternoon sky.
“Huh? Isn’t it too early for fireworks?” you comment off-handedly, turning to look at Niragi who just bites your shoulder and nods for you to pay attention to what’s happening on the screen. You shake your head but listen, intrigued.
When you look back, the surroundings have changed. The streets are dark and abandoned. It’s quiet. You frown and feel Niragi kiss up your neck.
“It’s not scary yet,” he whispers into your ear helpfully. You trust him-
You trust him.
You trust him and walk around the city with your character in search for clues. You find nothing. You’re just about to ask your boyfriend for help when the building not far away lights up. You make a little confused sound but go to the destination. It says that a game will soon start there.
“So meta,” you tease, only to be bitten again. There’s more strength to it now. It comes as a surprise and it startles you. You hyperfocus on him.
“Just you wait,” he smirks. He’s getting excited, but you feel like he’s getting more nervous too. It’s worrying you a bit. There’s that spark in his eyes and in the way he speaks, but his hand on your waist holds you tightly. Almost too much. Thumb of his other hand is stroking across your tight. You decide to just go through with the game without analyzing his behavior too much. It still passes as normal.
So you go with what the game tells you to do. There are more characters now that you can interact with. You talk with them some, learning more about them but not the situation your character got stuck in, unfortunately. You praise him for his writing skills, and you swear he both preens at the praise and gets the rug pulled out from under his feet with it. Your heart aches a little. Why can’t he take a compliment?
Then the game in the game starts and all your thoughts are thrown out of the window.
It’s brutal. Try as you might, the characters around you all die in horrible ways. Sometimes by accident, sometimes because you don’t react fast enough. Either way it’s horrifying, not in the jumpscare-ish type of way, but something inside you just doesn’t take it well. Maybe you just feel for the characters too much, got too absorbed, whatever the reason might be, you’re shaking and your eyes are tearing up and then you can’t focus and your character dies out of nowhere and you jump back from the keyboard.
Niragi is there to catch you. One of his hands is still around your waist, the other one stroking through your hair now. He lets you turn to the side so you can bury your face in his neck. He kisses your forehead.
“I told you it was scary,” he scoffs. It’s hard to notice since he’s trying to hide it but you know him too well. He’s upset - angry. As always, it’s a puzzle what the anger means. He remains gentle though, caring. So your best guess is that something about your reaction has hurt him. Of course anger is the only reaction he knows to that. He won’t tell you what’s going on either. You know that if you asked, or worse pushed for him to answer, he’d explode on you.
Maybe he’d really hit you this time.
…Stop.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I’m such a coward,” you murmur, nuzzling closer to him, “But maybe I could just watch you play instead? I mean if there’s more.”
He tenses again. You move so you can look at him. He looks confused and you give him a tight smile.
“I mean, the idea is cool and I’m curious what other games there are but it’s too cruel for me to play,” you admit, “You know, I guess I’d rather die myself than let someone else die.” Finally he huffs a small laugh too. It’s the one that means he thinks you’re being stupid but you don’t mind. Whatever was troubling him seems to have receded at least slightly.
“You’re unbelievable,” he mocks but he leans closer and takes control of the character as the game where you died starts over.
You stay cuddled to him, watching and wincing as he goes through his own creation. His playstyle is the exact opposite of yours. He’s cold, merciless. If there’s an option to sacrifice someone, he does so without a moment of hesitation. If the task is to kill, he’s happy to bash somebody’s head in.
Not just the character but Niragi himself.
You watch him intently, perhaps more than you watch the screen. There’s a wide, pleased smirk on his face. He laughs every time he gets to kill someone in an especially painful or morbid way.
It’s genuine, that smile, that laughter. Bright and happy.
You feel your heartbeat speeding up and deep down you wonder if you really know who your boyfriend is. You understand it’s just a game, but the excitement in his eyes is too genuine. He’s really into it. If you’re honest, it worries you. Then again, maybe it’s just because of the thoughts you’ve had for the last couple weeks. You wonder if you’re only worried because now you can imagine him both beating you and having fun doing it.
You shake your head a little. No. Your Niragi would never.
Not on purpose anyway.
The room goes perfectly dark and you realize he switched off the computer. You straighten up and smile at him in the darkness. Now that his hands are free he wraps them around you again. You gladly accept the comfort. The reminder that he’s not a monster, that he’s warm and that he loves you.
“Was it that bad?” he asks. The excitement from the game lingers in his voice but you note the other thing in his voice. It’s like he’s testing you. He’s a good actor when he needs to be.
“It was great, actually,” you hum and loop your arms around his neck. You play with the loose strands of his hair. He hasn’t tied it today, you finally notice.
“That’s why you kept looking at me?” There’s a hint of irritation in his voice. You know you need to be careful now.
“Yeah, I told you it was scary. It does a great job of setting the mood and when you talk to the characters, I could really feel for them and it was just hard to watch them die,” you share your opinion, whining a little at the end, “And I’m curious about the storyline! I can root and relate to the main character so I think it’s really well done. I guess I’m just too soft for it.” You chuckle and see him roll his eyes even through the darkness. You sigh, leaning closer. He’s still a little worked up. His shoulders are tense and he holds you close instead of caressing you. You kiss along his jaw and he melts under you, his hands sliding down to your hips.
“Besides how am I supposed to focus with this handsome eye candy right in front of me,” you tease, sucking on his neck, “I really missed you.”
He growls, grabbing your chin and slamming your mouths together. It’s good. He’s not angry. He wants you. You press yourself closer to him. You’re desperate to feel him, to have him. You just want your boyfriend, not the paranoid images your mind insists on creating.
“We’re not done here,” he says nonchalantly when he’s done kissing you breathless.
[…..]
He orders your favorite food for dinner and you laze on the couch together, waiting for it to arrive. You’re lying between his legs, back against his chest. He’s so warm even with the clothes separating you. You’re playing with his hands, intertwining your fingers, admiring how large his hands seem compared to yours. He allows it, relaxed and, dare you say, happy.
You talk about things that happened since you’ve seen each other, he mostly talks about work and you about your own life and the shenanigans that your roommates got into. He listens, only ever interrupting to kiss down your neck or bite your earlobe. You feel playful enough to get revenge when it’s his turn to talk. You know Niragi loves the attention as much as the knowledge that you actually listen to him, making little noises to let him know you’re still focused on his words despite nibbling on his neck.
You’re happy and comfortable. This is how relationship should feel, and for a moment you forget about the intrusive thoughts that have been bothering you.
“What do you really think of the game?” he asks finally. Of course your bubble of serenity had to disappear eventually.
You should’ve known it was still on his mind.
You sigh, holding his hands on your stomach. You think for a moment before speaking. Somehow the atmosphere turned serious and heavy. It’s important to him, more than you thought. That much is clear. Only you don’t know why. You know you need to be careful, but honest. So you take your time choosing your words.
“I think… Well, trust me or not, I see the appeal. It might not be my cup of tea but I understand why some people enjoy games like this. Shit, let me play when I’m stressed and I will be into it like no one else,” you laugh and see him smirk at you, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. There’s a strange look in his eyes, almost cautious. It doesn’t look good on him. You’re not used to seeing him like that.
“I mean, we all need to relieve our stress and frustration somehow. Sometimes people just feel like destroying something, hurting someone, killing someone,” you speak slowly, calmly, “Just… Just know that even if I don’t enjoy playing games like that, your game, it doesn’t mean it’s bad. And that you like it certainly doesn’t make you weird or anything. I don’t care. I’m just happy to see you happy. I love you, you know?” You smile, your little rant now over. You shift higher to kiss him gently. He returns the kiss, all remaining tension left his body.
“So what was your favorite mini-game? Was it live-or-die maze one?” he inquires, pulling you closer. You chuckle, more than anything glad to see him return to normal. And this question, you can answer.
You talk for hours. Laugh, kiss. He seems different. You can’t pinpoint how exactly, but you feel it’s not a bad change. You feel like you didn’t fuck up with your answer.
[…..]
It doesn’t take long for him to seduce you again once you’ve had dinner. Frankly, you’re surprised he waited that long.
Sex with Niragi is always amazing. Even if he’s in a mood for a rough and long night, he takes care of you. And as always, tonight too you fall asleep in his arms, safely wrapped in his loving embrace.
What’s unusual, though, is that you don’t sleep peacefully.
Your mind is plagued by nightmares. Visions of people screaming in agony, running away. You can’t move, paralyzed with fear. You don’t see what they’re running away from until it’s too late.
Niragi.
But it’s not your Niragi. This version of him is different. He looks the same but there’s a cruel glint in his eyes. He swings a gun around like it weighs nothing. He shoots every single living thing around, laughing at the mayhem. You make the mistake of whispering his name. He looks your way and tears flood your eyes instantly. He knows you. But you wish he didn’t.
He reaches you quickly and pulls your hair. You scream and call for help, struggle against him, pushing and punching but he’s so strong and he keeps laughing and you’re crying and scared and desperate.
“y/n!”
Your eyes shoot open and the first thing you see is Niragi and you panic, trying to escape from him. But then obvious hurt and confusion flash across his face, just for a second, before his jaw clenches and you know he’s angry and holding himself back, letting go of your arms and sitting back.
It wasn’t real.
He’s straddling you, running his hand through his hair. This is your Niragi. The one with many flaws and dangerous anger issues but also the loving boyfriend who always keeps you safe.
Not the psychotic maniac you saw in your dream.
Your body reacts on its own. You lunge forward and hug him tightly, squeezing the life out of him. He stills before, carefully, he envelops you in his arms. You sniff, nuzzling closer, hiding your face in his chest.
He strokes your hair and back, slowly so he doesn’t scare you. You listen to his heartbeat, bask in his warmth. He’s quiet. You can almost hear the gears turning in his mind. Despite his behavior sometimes, you know he’d hate it, hate himself, if you were truly afraid of him. And you know that’s exactly what he saw in your eyes before - fear.
“Can we lie down?” you say weakly and Niragi nods. His hands never leave your body as he helps you lie back down and tucks you under his chin. Having his arms around you makes you feel safe and soothes you, even if you can feel the nervous, angry energy radiating off him.
You try to shake off some of the lingering anxiety and tangle your fingers into his hair. It seems to help both of you relax until you’re able to speak. Niragi’s not going to ask, you know that, instead he’ll wait for you to talk, getting more and more impatient in the process. You really need to talk to him about that.
“I had a nightmare,” you begin slowly, still playing with his hair.
“Guessed that much,” he comments. Venom drips from his words and you’re both annoyed and shaking your head at his childishness. But underlying is the urge to flinch.
This is your Niragi. Not the nightmare one.
“You were there,” you mention and suddenly he’s paying close attention, “But… You were different. Like you were in the game. You were just killing everyone and then you saw me and I knew that it didn’t matter because you’ll just hurt me too and you looked so… satisfied.”
You feel his arms tighten around your shaking body. You haven’t even realized you were trembling.
“You think I’d hurt you?” he asks, tone flat. It’s unfortunate that he asks the question you’ve pondered for weeks. At least you know the answer. But are you ready to say it?
You know he’s close to snapping already. Not in the violent outburst, no, not now that you’re shaking in his embrace. But the silent, cold distancing himself thing he does sometimes. That one hurts more, mainly because then you know he’s hurting. You don’t want to hurt him. Somehow it feels like that’s what he expects of you, and you want to be better than that. However, you also want to be honest with him.
Sometimes, there’s just no way to win.
“No,” you sigh, “You wouldn’t hurt me intentionally. I know that. But… I don’t know, maybe if you lost control or something, people do all kinds of things then.”
Before you can raise your head to look at him, worried about his reaction, he does it for you. He holds your jaw between his fingers and there’s fire in his eyes you haven’t seen before. His hold is tight, bordering on being painful, but it barely doesn’t cross that line.
“I would never hurt you, understand?” he growls lowly, desperately.
The fire is just embers now, a crazed look in his eyes. Similar to the look he gives you anytime he pulls you to the side when you speak to a new acquaintance.
There’s fragility to it, you think. You might just be imagining that though. It’d make sense, what with him being so clingy and possessive, but that always felt like his way of asserting dominance. Could you have been wrong?
“Never. You’re mine and I promised I would take care of what’s mine,” his voice drops lower.
You smile a little. He did. It’s been the first thing he told you after you accepted his proposal to go on a date.
And maybe he’s telling the truth. Well, he certainly is - the truth he believes in anyway. You’re hesitant to believe it too, though. He has tremendous self-control, that much you know, but he slips up sometimes. Every human does. Perhaps it won’t happen in the near future or maybe never, but the fact is that you cannot shake off the feeling that one day he might hurt you, even if he won’t mean to.
“Only yours,” you sigh and bump your nose against his. He frowns at you. He hates these cute displays of affection. You kiss it better, melting against his lips. The piercing in his tongue is a nice distraction from everything else, its round and smooth shape curious against your tongue. You love it and he knows it. He smirks when you won’t stop playing with the metal stub.
“I could make you more tired if it helps you fall asleep,” he whispers suggestively into your ear but his touch remains tender and loving. Despite that, you know he’s serious. He has a special talent to turn even the most innocent things heated in a second.
“I love you, Niragi,” you chuckle, “Just hold me, please.” You kiss the corner of his mouth, cuddling closer to him. He smells like home. You let your hands fall to his chest, feeling his heart beating under your palm.
“Never gonna let you go, baby,” he promises and pulls you closer, stroking up and down your spine with his fingertips. Another one of his little unspoken love yous. You smile and trail a little path of kisses on his shoulder.
No. Your Niragi couldn’t possibly ever become like the one in your dream… could he?
