Welcome!

Welcome! We are a blog dedicated to listening to system vents, giving advice, and sharing positivity. We encourage questions, so anyone including singlets can interact. Send us a message any time. ask box: OPEN (1), active mod(s): pluto

[system-comforts]

hii a small win today, our AndreW2002 introject just came out of inactivity and im happy to see him again :"D

Oh I'm so glad to hear! It can be nice to hear from a headmate after inactivity. Im sure you'll help catch him up!

-mod venus

[system-comforts]

A kind reminder to go easy on yourself during this time of year. We often feel pressure to go out, do a ton of activities with family and friends, but please know if you don't feel up to it, don't force yourself. Rest is also important.

[system-comforts]

i doubt myself quite a lot but i think what comforts me in a certain way, is to hear kyle yelling at me to stfu and that we've been over this already. like im sorry sir 😭

also small win today because wynter came into co con ^_^ (my headmates are either inactive, a rare fronter or just don't front at all so, i barely get to see them usually! but i have 2 other frequent fronters who are fairly active enough and honestly, a fun duo)

i wish to see more of my headmates someday, i miss them all.

Hi anon, this is such a sweet ask! Our headmates can definitely be a great support when we're full of doubt. I know so many of mine know just what to say to cheer me up.

I'm also glad you're so happy about hearing from your headmates! I hope they start to come around more too!

-mod pluto

[system-comforts]

Sending lots of support to those who have shared extremely difficult and traumatic memories in therapy this week. You are so courageous for speaking about your trauma and reliving it again by doing so. Please remember to be proud of yourself and know this is another brave step you've taken towards healing.

[system-comforts]

Littles can sometimes be one of the greatest sources of joy for a system. Often, littles hold immense creativity and curiosity for the world. They are often some of the most empathetic and kind members in a system. Moreover, a little’s desire to play and their passionate interests can bring happiness to more than just themselves, but to the entire system.

[system-comforts]

This is a kind reminder to take time to slow down and check in with your headmates. Sometimes we distract ourselves through work, school, social commitments, and more, when what we need most is inner connection. Finding time to ask, "How are you today?" can go a long way in improving system communication.

[system-comforts]

Being a system means not just taking care of yourself and considering your needs, but also taking care of your headmates’ wellbeing as well. It can be hard knowing how to help them, but the effort is always worth it.

[system-comforts]

Sending warm thoughts to those who had to cut off family members for their healing. I am so glad you found the strength to choose yourself and your healing then, and that you continue to value your mental wellness by remaining no contact.

[system-comforts]

Even with the constant inner noise, being a system can also feel incredibly lonely. Not having someone to share your daily life with, not having some who truly gets it, makes you feel isolated and alone in your struggles.

[system-comforts]

PTSD Symptoms those with CDDs may recognize in themselves

PTSD as a disorder includes symptoms that occur after trauma, so those with DID, OSDD, and PDID are likely to be also diagnosed with PSTD or experience many of its symptoms. Both PTSD and dissociative disorders exist on the same spectrum of trauma disorders. With CDDs, these PTSD symptoms become chronic, and particular alters many express specific symptoms of PTSD. Of course too, those with PTSD, just like those with CDDs, can experience other mental health issues such as depression, substance use, anxiety, and more.

PTSD symptoms can be grouped into 3 categories: Intrusions, Hypoarousal, Avoidance.

Intrusions: Sudden and unwanted intrusions of the trauma into everyday awareness. This includes:

Flashbacks

Nightmares

Persistent anxiety

Startle reflex

Agitation

Restlessness

Hypoarousal: Decreases in mental and physical reactivity, similar to dissociation. This include:

Inability to think, speak, or move

Detachment from self and environment

Persistent exhaustion

Temporarily losing consciousness

One’s mind feeling “blank”

Slowed breathing and heart rate

Unable to feel pain

Avoidance: Avoidance of reminders of traumatic memories such as emotions, places, and situations. This includes:

Distracting oneself with work

Being on autopilot

Emotionally numb but also tense

Unexpected emotional outburst

Isolating

Trouble sleeping

Concentration and attention issues

I hope that by learning about these symptoms and by identifying which ones you experience, you can better help yourself and your system members. As said above, certain alters may exhibit one or more symptoms, like how ANPs may be more likely to distract themselves, or trauma holders may be more likely to experience flashbacks than other parts. Also, this info was taken from the book Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation!

-mod venus

[system-comforts]

Sometimes one of the hardest parts about being a system is when headmates aren't saying anything at all. Losing that communication and connection can make daily tasks so much more difficult than normal.

[system-comforts]

What are some apps to track plurality ie make profiles for members and chat and make notes for each other?

Hi anon. Recently we came across this website that has a huge number of plural tools. It gives reviews of the different apps, where they are available, if it has features like system mapping or system chats, etc. We highly recommend checking it out!

-mod venus

[system-comforts]

Shout out to systems with aphantasia who can't picture their headspace in their mind. You are still just as valid as any other system, and there are so many other ways to communicate with and spend time with your system members.

[system-comforts]

It’s normal to feel like having alters or members is just a big game of playing pretend, right? And to feel like you’re faking. And to feel like you’re just making excuses…? I feel very much as though I am a system and there are times when I am very certain of it and then times in which I admonish myself for even having the thought. It’s hard too when I don’t feel very much like a ‘true system’ would with clearly defined alters and noticeable gaps in memory, just someone who talks to themselves and feels strange sometimes. I often have periods in which I just feel like myself, only to look back on that same point days or weeks later and ask ‘That wasn’t me, was it?’ with no clear idea as to who ‘me’ even is. It’s just feelings. It just doesn’t feel quite real. I guess I’m looking for assurance.

- Sincerely, A Concerned Member of the Administrative Mind Council

Hi there. I want to assure you that doubt is an extremely common feeling. Given how confusing your sense of self has been your entire life, it can be hard to trust yourself when you're searching for answers and have to reply on your own perceptions and experiences. I also want to say that it seems like there's a lot of shame for being or even thinking you might be plural. No matter what the answer is, you are allowed to explore yourself and ask questions. It's important to people to know themselves, to have a connection with their past and present. It's a personal journey. There's no right way to be plural.

I know that online, especially in Tumblr spaces, many talk about their experiences with their headmates. However, there are many diverse experiences of plurality that never make it online, especially the more negative or hard to understand experiences. Experiences like you describe of not feeling like yourself or having a sense of me, that depersonalization is common among systems but rarely talked about. Understanding these symptoms and feelings more, being able to name them, can better help you feel they are real, not your fault, and worth exploring.

It's ok to be a system, and it's ok if you are a system. It's important to give yourself grace and show yourself the kindness and understanding that others may not.

-mod venus

[system-comforts]

Hey! Back again! (Sorry, I'm just excited because I haven't really had someone to talk to about any of this)

I'm sure you've already answered something like this before but I'm trying to promote communication between all of us, I can always get through to Parker but Brian, Ammon, Star, and Ark (especially), are very difficult.

I know some of their interests but it feels odd to start something that they're interested in when it's not things I usually do.

I already have a few plans for when I have some more money (a few piercings Parker and Star have been wanting, a few clothing pieces) and I've been thinking about making name tags for all of us + (one for when it's iffy)

I don't really know how to go about this part or really most of it

Oh well I'm glad you feel happy to share! I think that joy and confidence will go a long way with your system.

I think the ideas you have planned out are great! Ultimately you will know what's best to connect with your others, since you know the most about them. I think in general it is important when trying to communicate more to keep an open mind and to remain receptive. Oftentimes headmates can hold very different worldviews and experiences from us, but allowing them to talk and showing you appreciate them coming to you.

When it comes to engaging in their hobbies, it's alright for them to be the one to engage first, and if they feel comfortable, you can join as well or at least ask them about it. Asking questions and giving them the time shows you care and want that connection. Even experiencing more mundane experiences together can build a stronger connection.

It's understandable to be unsure what to do, and you don't need to have all the answers, just the willingness to try. Good to hear from you again!

-mod venus

[system-comforts]

hi hi! i was wondering if you have any examples or ideas of how to show love and care for alters?

(such as leaving notes in a packed lunch, sending tiktok links on sp to eachother, hand holding e.c.t) ♡

Hi anon, I absolutely love love love this ask! Below I'll list some ideas I can think of, but I encourage others to comment what they have done to show love to their alters, headmates, and parts.

Leave kind notes

Leave drawings of them or things they like

Buy them a small present (trinket that reminds you of them, keychain, bracelet, clothing, etc)

Give them time to front to engage in a hobby they enjoy

Do tasks for them so they don't have to (pack lunch, do the dishes, laundry, pay a bill, etc)

Do activities cofronting with them (we like to work out together and go on walks!)

Make them dishes they like or buy their favorite food

Front when the body is sick so they don't have to

Talk with them frequently (using journals, texting, or cocon)

Tell them they're doing a great job and other compliments (they did great at work, they helped the body so much today)

Complete mundane but important tasks for them (shower, brush teeth)

Support their mental health needs (wearing ear plugs in noisy areas, making sure they take meds, giving them fidget toys)

Watching shows or games they enjoy with them, letting them info dump to you

Play games with them (we like to play board games together!)

Encourage them to talk to irl friends (if you are out or feel safe doing so)

Encouraging them to go to therapy (and telling them how amazing they do when they do go)

Telling them how pretty/handsome/adorable/cool they look in headspace

Compliment their positive traits like their kindness, generosity, bravery, humor

Talk about positive shared memories together

Solve problems together (word puzzles, games)

Do things in headspace together (if you have an inner world)

Tell others about how much you appreciate them (if you are out or feel safe doing so)

Letting them have cozy evenings with blankets, snacks, a movie, etc (and you can join too!)

Encouraging them to try something new

Reminding them you love them and are there for them

Listening when they are upset, sad, angry

Holding them when they cry, wrapping a blanket around them, etc

Helping them calm down or ground (breathing techniques, meds, distraction, 5 things)

Creating music playlists together

Making playlists, collages, art inspired by them

I'd love to hear more! ♡

-mod venus

[system-comforts]

If this isn't allowed, feel free to delete it

I know trauma isn't required to be a system but I'll still mention it, I was neglected severely as a young kid and spent most of my childhood dissociated

I've always had these little pieces of myself that yell and talk in my head, they have different opinions than me, sometimes they argue or bully me too

Sometimes I feel like I'm somebody else, different pronouns, not connecting with my name even though I chose it for myself, different opinions and sudden mood shifts

I tend to forget things after just a few days and I've had times when I've suddenly "woken up" and days or weeks have passed, different locations, and I feel spacey and confused

I've been sent screenshots of me doing and saying awful things, and proof it isn't photoshopped, and I can't remember. I feel awful and nobody believes me when I say I don't remember doing it, no matter how much I apologize.

I'm scared I'm plural in some way, but I don't experience a lot of the same things other people do. For example, I don't have a headspace. Or, at least, I've never been there.

"Switches" can take hours or days, and i get really bad headaches, and a lot of times it feels like I'm still there, just watching myself do other things. Like a dream. I don't really know what to do.

Am I just making things up? Should I see a therapist? I'm underage, so I'm scared they'll just turn me away and assume I'm one of those Tiktok DID fakers.

Hi there anon. I want to assure you that I hear you as someone who is earnest in figuring this out and someone who just wants to understand. Any good therapist or even friend listening to you will hear that from you and know you mean well.

I can tell you've looked a lot into plurality. The sense of disconnection from your name, not remembering things, being in a place confused, and hearing voices that even bully you are experiences very reflective of disordered plurality. But I do also want to say I'm very sorry you experienced this as well as neglect in your childhood. All of what you described is an immense weight. I can understand why you just want answers but also feel so doubtful. When so much of your life consists of questioning your own experiences and memories, it becomes hard to trust yourself and what you think is true.

I think explaining all you described here to a therapist is very important to do. As said before, a quality therapist will trust in your word and want to help you. Finding other people for your support system is also important to do, even just to have someone to talk to about these experiences can take off a lot of weight.

You deserve answers to your mental health and help alleviating all you've described. Wishing you lots of luck and hope.

-mod venus