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Thoughts

Tulad lang yun ng pagsinabi mong "pangit ka", "pangit ka rin" ang isinasagot ko. Ibinabalik ko lang. Wala akong masamang ibigsabihin. Bitter lang sya pakinggan kasi may pangit tayong nakaraan. Pero diba? Tingnan mo naman pag inaaya mo ko sa bundok mo okay ako, pag pwede ako sumasama. Kasi kahit kupal ka pinagkakatiwalaan pa rin kita. Para namang di tayo magkaibigan. Sa lahat ng gagawin mo, desisyon mo basta saan ka masaya, suportanta ka. Masaya kong nakita mo na ang masasabi mong "mahal mo talaga" hindi dahil kamakailan lang nakipaghiwalay ka at kelangan mo ng karamay na too good to your ego. Hindi mo rin naman kelangan pang sabihin na "mahal naman ako ni kemekeme" kasi bukod sa wala akong pake, alam mong bago ka pa nya mahalin, ako muna yung taong nagmahal sayo (and take note i loved you at your worst) hindi nga lang tayo tugma. Anyways, Ako pa din naman to! 😂 yung mapagkukwentuhan mo ng mga kagaguhan mo. 😉 -bigla lang sya pumasok sa isip ko. Kupal kasi convo namen. Nakakabother ee. 😂 hate explanations but FYI.❤ 😊 Live.laugh.love😁

YOLO 👌

Ganyan din dati plano ko ee, Magtapos. Magtrabaho. Magipon. Magtravel. Sobrang goal ko yan. But life is what we make it. Paano pag bukas mamatay ka na? Hindi naten masasabi ang aksidente o hanggang kelan ka na lang. Nakapagipon ka nga wala ka namang natravel. So habang buhay ka pa, Live your life to the fullest. Travel as long as you can at syempre mag save ka din para sa future. Little by little dapat nakakapagpundar ka ng mga gusto mo. Minsan sa sobrang ayaw mo gumastos napupunta sa walang latuturan yung ipon. Dapat balance lang. Para sayo (sa mga luho mo sa travel mo) at sa savings. Ganern!

Para sa nasaktan kong kaibigan.

Sa tagal ng ating pinagsamahan. Sa dami ng nagawa mong kabutihan at mini lang namang di mabuti. Yung tinatawag at talaga namang matatawag na mamà. Yung kahit saan anjan nakasuporta. Naalala mo ba kung paano tayo nagkakilala? Sa labing limang mats sa stage ng paaralan. Unang narinig ko ang tawag nila sayo. Naalala mo ba yung unang beses akong uminom at nalasing? Ikaw yung isa sa mga nag asikaso saken, nag alaga,nagbihis at timawag mo yung "mahal ko" para patulugin ako. Naalala mo ba yung unang nilakad mo ko sa crush ko? Hiyang hiya ako noon. Kasi diba mag bestfriend lang kami. Nagpapasalamat ako sa suporta mo. Naalala mo ba yung mga araw na kinailangan ko ng pintura sa mukha? Simula sa mga kompitisyong pinagsamahan naten, sa debut, sa Christmas Party hanggang sa graduation ko. Naalala mo pa ba yung panahong unang umibig ako? kasi yung crush ko, jowa ko na. Napaka suportib nyo talaga diba? Napakasaya ko noon. Naaalala mo pa ba yung unang beses rin akong nasaktan? Anjan ka sa tabi ko. Kinocomfort ako. Pumunta ka ng bahay. Inaaya mo ko umalis. At ang sinabi mong di ko makakalimutan "dont cry out loud."yung sa kanta. Yung pinigil mo kong magpost ng bitter. Pinagsasabihan pag sobra na ko. Pag mali na ginagawa ko. Naalala mo ba yung sinabihan mo kong sasampalin mo ko? Kasi yung bibig ko bastos ee, kasi sabi ko wala akong pakealam sa kanila. Naalala mo pa ba yung mga panahong pinag samahan naten? Kasi kahit matagal na yun at di na tayo tulad ng dati, OO tandang tanda ko yun.. Ang dami mong ginawang mabuti kasi sabi mo, kami na yung tinuturing mong pamilya. Kasi diba tinitreasure mo talaga ang kaibigan. Hindi ko alam saan ako mag uumpisa ulit. 2 yrs to be exact. Gantong panahon din yun. Bakasyon. Alam ko may kasalanan ako. Na nagawan kita ng di mabuti. Na feeling betrayed ka. And Im really sorry. 2015 yung huling usap naten. At halos isang taong di tayo nag kita. Tinanggal mo lahat ng koneksyon naten sa social media. Pero we need to move on. Alam kong may parte sa puso mong nasasaktan ka pa. Alam ko ding hindi madaling makalimot. Alam ko ding na trauma ka. Pero hindi lang kami ang patawarin mo, patawarin mo din ang sarili mo kasi at some point aminin mong may mali ka din sa nangyari. I still believe na sana maging okay tayo kahit di tulad ng dati in the near future. -sincerely, Dati mong kaibigan.

escafeism

And suddenly all of the love songs were about you. Every look, I am lost in your brown eyes. Every word is a proof of why I am in love. Every touch, I could feel the next sixty-years of my life. You have no clue how much I care for you. How much I crave for you smiles. How much I forced myself just to say goodnight to you. How hard i tried to believe that things might change. How I hate the idea of living without you, though I can never get a chance to be with you. You don’t have any clue of how much it breaks my heart knowing you can’t love me the way I do. I am getting tired of this. I love you but you love her. And sometimes I wish I never met you. I wish I never fell this hard for you. Maybe I wouldn’t be feeling this pain. Or maybe I could wake up one day and I just unloved you. I wish I never let you myself drown with my feelings for you. I wish I could get you out of my mind. But I couldn’t stand to forget. I am tired of this, but ain’t tired of you.

Perhaps a great love could not always be returned (via escafeism)

Bakit di nyo nakikita yung lungkot sa mga mata ng taong laging nakangiti at nakatawa?

The happiest is the saddest, isnt it? 😕😧😪

Tinatanong nila bakit daw ako tawa ng tawa at laging pakangiti. -Mas madali kasing ngumiti kesa magpaliwanag kung bakit di ka nakangiti ee. 😔

I'm hurt. 💔 literally.

Actions speak louder than words. 😪

Its kinda sweet but one flower is sweeter than a half dozen of it. ☺😊 💪💋 -101116

Don't fall in love with the stars in my eyes, the sweetness of my lips, nor the beat of my heart. I want you to fall in love with my scars.. Fall in love with the cuts on my wrist.. Fall inlove with the screams in my head.. Fall in love with the tears down my cheek.. It's simple actually, fall in love with my pain.. —Then you've fallen in love with all that I am. 101216

picalla

PERIOD. ☺

LAHAT TAYO MAY PERIOD minsan sa isang buwan, madalas kapag nabubuang. Lahat tayo ay dinadalaw ng multo ng kahapon. Lahat tayo ay ginugulat ng mga hugot na tumatagos, magmamantiya, at pipigil sa'yong pagkilos. Pero ang period ay pwedeng gawing kuwit, tutuldok-tuldok, o tandang pananong. Basta't 'wag kang hihintong magsulat, pwedeng malampasan ang mga sugat. At kung ang nasabing period ay hindi na mabubura o mababago, 'wag ka pa ring bibitaw sa panulat mo. Dahil ang katapusan ng pangungusap, ay laging may kasunod na bago. Pwedeng bagong tao. Pwedeng ikaw pero bago. --------------------------------------- #LahatTayoMayPeriod by Utot Catalog!

Kamay 👐

Hinawakan mo yung kamay ko, kahit ayaw ko. Kahit hindi pa ako sigurado. Kahit hindi pa ako umo-oo. Hinigpitan mo pa nga't sinabing wag kang bibitaw. Walang iwanan. Takot na naramdama'y nawala, kasi akoy nagtiwala. Kasi ikaw ang nag sabi ng mga kataga. Lumipas ang mga araw at linggo, mas mabilis pa sa alas kwatro. Buwan na ika-pito. Unti unting pagkakahigpit ng hawak moy lumuluwang tulad ng pag uusap natin, lumalamig. Tulad ng pagkikita nating dumadalang. At ang mga away ay dumadalas. Hindi na nakaiwas,... Ang mga kamay na magkahawak ay unti unting dumudulas. Paisa-isa...... Mga daliri'y kumakalas. Ako'y lumalaban pa! Ako'y nakakapit pa! Ngunit ikay bumitaw na at sinabing "hindi na ako masaya". Tama na................. 😔😧💔👊👋 -ganoin! ❤ ➡ 💔 real quick 😂 62116

Kamay 👐

Hinawakan mo yung kamay ko, kahit ayaw ko. Kahit hindi pa ako sigurado. Kahit hindi pa ako umo-oo. Hinigpitan mo pa nga't sinabing wag kang bibitaw. Walang iwanan. Takot na naramdama'y nawala, kasi akoy nagtiwala. Kasi sayo nang galing ang mga kataga. Lumipas ang mga araw at linggo hanggang sa ika-pitong buwan na mas mabilis pa sa alas kwatro. Unti unting pagkakahigpit ng hawak moy lumuluwang tulad ng pag uusap natin, lumalamig. Tulad ng pagkikita nating dumadalang. At ang mga away ay dumadalas. Hindi na nakaiwas, Ang mga kamay na magkahawak ay unti unting dumudulas. Paisa-isa...... Mga daliri'y kumakalas. Ako'y lumalaban pa! Ako'y kumakapit pa! Ngunit ikay bumitaw na at sinabing "hindi na ako masaya". Tama na................. 😔😧💔👊👋 -ganoin! ❤ ➡ 💔 real quick 😂 621st16

Akin ka lang

"Akin ka lang" mga salitang masarap sanang pakinggan, lalo na kung sa taong gusto mo ang pinanggalingan. Ang saya sana kung ang mga salitang ito ay hindi mga kasinungalingan at pawang totoo lamang. Ang gaan sa pakiramdam kung iisipin mong hindi lang pagbigkas ang kayang gawin kundi ang pagpapatunay rin. ☺📝 Ngunit ito ay linya ng mga artista sa isang pelikula. Palabas lamang. Di makatotohanan. May hangganan. Di mo mapipigilan, na ........ ang "akin ka lang" di kalaunan ay magiging "hanggang dito na lamang". Parang yung "walang iwanan" na naging "paalam". 😕😧 -ganoin! ❤➡💔 real quick 😂

Remember: Breathe! 😊😁

You’ve spent so many years looking forward to this phase of your life. And it always looked so cool. So glamorous. So filled with love and laughter. Yet here you are. With knowledge that it’s anything but. It’s messy buns and messier lives. It’s baggy shirts and overflowing laundry bags. It’s a lot of work and never enough money. It’s freedom with responsibilities. And life is no longer what it seemed. Different people are doing different things. Your best friend’s getting married. Your old classmate is killing it with success. Your ex is happy in love. Your old mate is drowning in drugs. Different people are doing different things. But not you. You’re just existing. You’re getting through everyday a little better than the last. But then you have days where you can’t get up at all. You spend your Friday evenings holed up in a corner because you’re too responsible to drink your night away. Too control freakish to lose yourself to someone else’s tunes. But somehow, this isn’t enough. This life you’re living doesn’t feel complete. Loneliness wraps around you like a blanket you love and you wonder where you went wrong. Why you became different to everyone else. “Did I do too much too soon? Did I not do enough? Was there a reason why it was never me? Is this going to be the rest of my life? Alone? Unsuccessful? Filled with dreams that never come true?” And your hands reach out to your phone. One text. One call. To that someone who might make you feel pretty. Who might make you feel important. And your need takes over. The need to feel accepted. To feel appreciated. To feel adored. To feel loved. And it is so strong, you forget your sanity for a few minutes of flattery. You lessen your worth for dishonest words. The hurt in your heart, camouflaged. If only for a few seconds. But it’s never enough. And when you wake up, it’s worse. The hammering of your heart so loud in your ears. A memory of last night frustratingly haunting. Yet another mistake. Yet again. You scream hateful words to yourself. When will I ever learn? You go over those messages. Those conversations. How you fell right back into a ditch when you knew better. Just for a moment, you wish you weren’t yourself. And in that moment, read these words: Breathe. It’s not so bad. You think I don’t understand. But I do. Because I’m there, too. I’ve made that call. I’ve texted that wrong person. I’ve woken up with regrets. I still do. I’ve felt the need to be held. I’ve felt that silent green monster towards a friend in love. Yes, we all make those mistakes. And we all think nobody else does. But they do. So please, don’t hate yourself. And don’t stop. Don’t stop loving with all you have. Don’t stop wishing on every shooting star. Don’t stop dreaming of fairytales and being as amazing as Malala Yousafzai. You might not always get there, but don’t stop. You have so much left to do. You have a world filled with life waiting to happen. You have books to be read. Steps to be taken. Places to see. People to meet. You haven’t lived half your life yet. There’s so much ahead. And in ten years, when you look back, you’ll wish you were here again. So don’t waste it wallowing in your own sadness. Don’t lose yourself to your self-pity and non-existent boundaries. Use everyday. And I don’t mean spend thousands of dollars and visit the North Pole. I know how you’re struggling to make ends meet. Do the simple things. Stop procrastinating. Take a walk with nature. Go to the gym. Read your favorite book for the millionth time. Watch a movie. Write your novel. Sketch until you’re better than the best. Eat like you’re dying tomorrow. And most importantly, make mistakes. Your heart will heal. But today will never be back again. Don’t live with “Could-have-been’s.” Take chances. And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS remember – It’s okay to be alone. There is time to let your life revolve around someone else. But today, let it revolve around you. Not because you can’t find someone. Not because you can’t be loved. But because you deserve to wake up with a smile. You deserve to live life. To make memories so wild, you’ll be the coolest grandparent they’ve ever known. Breathe. It’s only your mid-20’s. You’re going to be alright. By Poornima Baskar

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