beep boop motherfucker

He's a tin can hitman. indie oc - independent

[miyku]

Saints Row IV

[smokexstack-deactivated20141121]

                Finally, he could just relax for five damn minutes. DUP-troopers had lost him, and he had a buttload of robot unicorn attack to play.

[t1ncanh1tman]

You crouch down beside the kid, elbows resting on your knees, as you peer over his shoulder at the phone in his grasp. 

"--That game looks way too sparkly for my tastes," came your reply.

[t1ncanh1tman]

"--I walked into a casino and some old lady thought I was a slot machine. She touched me in a very naughty place."

[t1ncanh1tman]

[juddovokun-deactivated20140608]

                And, she was already at the end of her wits. She’d touched a dick all of zero times, and she wasn’t keen to try.

    “…Are you positive there’s not another button somewhere else?”

[t1ncanh1tman]

"--I am 95.654314532% sure that there is no other way. All ya gotta do is press the button."

"Just be gentle," you whisper. 

[violentorum]

       ”—Thought you couldn’t move, you fuckin’ LIAR.”

[t1ncanh1tman]

You pause.

"--Walk into my fist."

[juddovokun-deactivated20140608]

            A reset button? That was a good thing. She listened intently, wings folded back as she trotted closer, head canted to the side at his last statement, wondering what he could be talking about.

   ”It’s just a button…”

[t1ncanh1tman]

"Yer gonna have to fiddle with my--" Dramatic pause.

"--Dongle."

[dysfxrie]

    "No!" What the actual fuck? "What even are you?" 

[t1ncanh1tman]

"--I'm whatever you want me to be, baby." Que the inappropriate hand gesture. 

[violentorum]

        “That’s fuckin’ sad.”

[t1ncanh1tman]

There was a talking panda. It was talking to you.

"--Walk into my fist, Po."

[weaponnx]

" Yeah yeah." He waved his hand for a moment, striking the flint of his light down the fabric of his jeans to create just enough of a spark to burn the end of his cigar with. " ‘Fer a second, I thought ‘ay were Stark testin’ out a new suit." Filtering a flume of smoke through his nostrils, his arms crossed the front of his chest.  " But, now I just realize ‘yer a walkin’ tin can."

[t1ncanh1tman]

"--Tony Stark?" You were mistaken for somebody famous by somebody famous. If you could sweat you'd so be doing so right now.

"--This tin can prefers the term Artificial American, actually." As if it mattered. Most of the shit you said sort of just popped up randomly. You were broken and based off the personality of a crazy old man. You were a sitcom. 

[t1ncanh1tman]

heartful-doe replied to your post

Touch it, slap it, throw it all around, disconnect it like a lego.

[juddovokun-deactivated20140608]

"Do you need help?

         I don’t know what I can do for you, but I will try. “ 

 Loud or not, she would gladly give him the aide he needed. 

[t1ncanh1tman]

"--There's a button yer gonna have to hit," was your reply. "It resets all my systems and normally does the trick." You pause.

"--Ya ain't gonna like where it is, though."

[t1ncanh1tman]

"--My body locked up again."

[t1ncanh1tman]

[t1ncanh1tman]

nayums replied to your post:nayums replied to your post: “”First cat girls,...

well I have half right and that’s all that matters.

this is so incredibly true that it physically pains me

[juddovokun-deactivated20140608]

"Please quiet down, sir."  She didn’t exactly like loud people. Not at night.

[t1ncanh1tman]

You sort of just freeze in that awkward, half terrified stance.

"...I think my body locked up." Yup. You can't move.

[weaponnx]

” Include a self service bar and I’l pitch in a few.”

[t1ncanh1tman]

"--Holy shit," came your reply. "You're Wolverine."