YOU KNOW, FROM TV

Its cha'boy. Hey, is thing on? Oh dunk, it is. Um, hi, I'm Taako, you know, from the apocalypse. Ask cha'boy some shit, or come say hi. I dunno, I don't bite, that ain't my kink.

[taako-tm]

are You or Lup making new umbrastaffs for the aesthetic

LISTEN. LISTEN. 

IF LUP MAKES ANOTHER VOREBRELLA I AM GONNA POP THE FUCK OFF AND, IUNNO, YELL AT HER, I GUESS. 

I didn’t think that far ahead. But! Cha’boy would be pissed! What do you, who do you think I am? With what happened with the last vorebrella? That fucker ate my sister! That’s fucked up! Why would I make another? 

[taako-tm]

Pick up on any other cool languages since the animal plane? Any you and Lup still use?

Y’know, it’s kinda a funny story, actually. You know how twins sometimes come up with their own languages? Yea, that was me and Lulu as kids, we had our own thing going on. S’not like we use it that much anymore, but, eh, once in a while. 

But what was the question? Languages, oh, right, cool cool cool. Okay, so, cha’boy knows like, uhhhhh couple half-dozen give or take, and I can read a handful more. Not gonna list em cause hey. Taako’s a busy elf. I got things to do! 

But most recently, I got Joaquin teachin’ me Spanish. He thinks its the fucking funniest thing that he’s teachin’ an elf named Taako Spanish, the lil’ shit. I’m tradin’ him magic lessons. Don’t want him blowin’ up any buildings not on purpose, you dig? 

[taako-tm]

Do you know any sweet vape tricks?

oh, my sweet boy. Taako knows every. single. one. 

Listen. Listen. There’s not that much to do on a spaceship, cha’feel? Shoulda seen the setup me and Barold had goin’. Well, okay, I bullied him into helping me build that sweet, sweet rig but I’m not sorry at all. 

[taako-tm]

Does everything still taste like gogurt to you, or did you manage to fix that mess?

honey, you know, at this point it’d be weirder if everything didn’t taste like key lime. 

Also, okay, fine! I haven’t figured it out yet. You happy? Dunkass elf can’t even de-key-lime himself, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever, makes shots go down real smooth, so, uh, I’m winning. Most deffo. 

[taako-tm]

Glitter? Your opinion?

So you’d think I’d be all about that stuff, right? I mean, it’s sparkly, attention grabbing, blinding in the right light, all things that could all apply to cha’boy right here. 

but here’s the thing, m’dude. It’s not all that practical. It gets on fuckin’ everything! And when it gets into your spell components that’s a pain in the ass and a half, and when it gets on your nice black velvet cloak, that’s like, that’s like hellsa annoying. 

Not to mention it’s a real good way to give your position away (LONG STORY. DON’T ASK). 

But, well, can’t give up that aesthetique, you feel? Here’s a protip for you: prestidigitation. No one can tell! It’s fuckin’ foolproof. You wanna know how i I get that shimmer on my eyelids? S’all magic, baby. 

[taako-tm]

What types of dancing do you know?

Uhh lessee, you pick up a lotta things over a century, specially goin’ through all those planets...

Learned how to waltz way back when (long story, infiltration thing, big party, you get the idea), pole dancing (LONGER story, infiltration thing, weird night), tango (just for kicks, no real reason, not everythin’s got some sorta backstory), voguing (cha’boy’s death drop is, uh, killer). 

Think that’s about it. Didn’t really keep track, y’know? Still shuffling everything back around in the ol’ brainspace. 

S’been a while since I danced, actually. Huh.

[taako-tm]

Hey! What kind of music are you listening to these days?

ooh good question! Uh, shit, what am I listening to. Fuck! Lemme get out my fantasy ipod, hold on a tick. 

Mm, hate that, hate that, oh that’s garbage... Last song I listened to was Imaginary Parties by Fantasy Superfruit, and the other day Lulu sent me Fake Happy and said it reminded her of me, ‘cause she was being passive aggressive as fuck, Lulu. Still a good jam, though. 

Also, lately I’ve been listenin’ to a lotta classical, actually? Krav plays the piano and the violin, if you can imagine. He’s real good at it, too! Like hella good. My boy’s got that good talent. 

[taako-tm]

DONT ANSWER THAT PLEASE IT WAS A BAD ATTEMPT AT BEING FUNNY

Listen. Compared to me, everyone’s a bad attempt at bein’ funny. Don’t beat yourself up about it, my dude, the world’s gonna do plenty of that for ya. 

Oh jeez, that sounded ominous. Well! Sometimes, you know, it’s just like that. 

[taako-tm]

Sleeping

Never heard of her, kiddo. 

[taako-tm]

who’s going to get all the gay angry wizards in one room take their casting focuses and have them duke it out hand-to-hand

Yanno, you joke, but there was that one plane where they would only give the light up to the guy who beat all the other guys in this, this fuckin’ deathmatch type deal, you know, s’like fantasy wrestling except people uhhhhhhhh died, and long story short, cha’boy fuckin’ won. No focus, no magic, just good old fashioned punchin’. 

Haha just kiddin, you think these hands ever punched anyone? Abs-ol-lute-ly not, my man. Still won, though. 

And no, I’m not telling you how. 

[taako-tm]

Hi

What’s hangin, kiddo? 

[taako-tm]

do a backflip

Do a backflip? Just do a backflip? 

I’m, I’m not one of Maggie’s dogs, Taako doesn’t just backflip on command, cha’boy only backflips when he feels like it. 

And right now I’m very comfortable where I am, thank you very much. 

[taako-tm]

hi i’m tori and i’m an enabler for these shenanigans

Oh hell yeah! First fan! Fuck yes! 

No idea what you’re talkin’ about though, pumpkin, cause this is just my real elven life I’m living. What shenanigans? Ya boy’s just sitting on his couch drinkin’ wine and scrollin’ tumblr. Nothin’ going on here. 

[taako-tm]

Uh, hi, this is Taako, yanno, that’s right. Cha’boy’s got internet hooked right up to his stone of farspeech now. 

Is this thing on? 

Oh, jeez, it is. Hells yeah. Come uh, ask me shit, I guess? Talk? Jeezy creezy, I don’t fucking know what people do with these things, so, you know, this is gonna be fun. 

((starting a taako ask/rp blog for the sheer thrill of it. come say hi.))