...searching for the sound of light

I write stuff.

[tabularasafic]

State Of The Author :: May 2026

Either the cold I caught a couple of weeks ago hit me harder than I thought it did, or my hyperfocus has wound down, because the writing has been a little harder than I'd like the last few days. But I got a lot of writing done this month.

Works In Progress:

Little Red Thread: made some major progress on this one. Finished chapters 9 through to 15 plus an interlude, and wrote 40,525 words -- am now up to 86,802 words. Which means that the word count for this story has surpassed Defying Gravity's, and it's not even halfway done yet. It's the most I've written in one month in a very long time.

Challenges:

Get Your Words Out: 130,786 words for the challenge, across Little Red Thread, Brothers In Arms and supplemental materials.

[tabularasafic]

State Of The Author :: April 2026

I'm still on a major roll with the writing, which has made for another very productive month. It's so nice to not have to fight my muse all time time.

Works in progress:

Little Red Thread: I've really hit my stride with this one. I've finished chapters 6, 7 and 8, and am around halfway done with chapter 9 -- another 18,933 words written, for a new total of 46,277. I'll hit 50K next chapter, which is when things will start going downhill for a little while. I'm seriously looking forward to writing my characters going through absolute hell. *evil grin*

Brothers In Arms: I hadn't even planned on writing this story up until a month ago. It's the prequel to Little Red Thread, and is set during the 15 months immediately prior to the beginning of that story. And it is seriously spoilery for Little Red Thread, so I'm not even going to share anything about it until I hit the part in Little Red Thread that it's most spoilery for. All I will say is that it fills in a fair amount of backstory. So far I have the prologue and the first two chapters done, and 12,110 words written.

Challenges:

Get Your Words Out 2026: I'm past my 75K goal, with 92,971 words written across Little Red Thread, Brothers In Arms, and supplemental materials for both stories.

[tabularasafic]

State Of The Author :: March 2026

This has been yet another productive month. I've found my writing rhythm again now that my Master's degree is well behind me, and my writing hyperfocus is in full gear lately (thank you AuDHD). I love it when that happens. :D

Works in progress:

Little Red Thread: I've made some major progress with this fic. Finished off chapters 4 and 5 (and started chapter 6) and wrote 12,418 words, for a new total of 27,344. Goal is 110K so I'm already a quarter of the way there. When you consider that I not only started this fic right in the middle of the final year of my Master's degree (I'm not even kidding -- I started writing it at the end of July last year), but that realistically speaking I've only really been working on it for five or so months, I'm doing pretty damn well on it. If I count the future scenes I've written and that I'll be editing and slotting in later (including the first sexually-explicit bit of writing I've ever done -- I had LOADS of fun with that), it's closer to 45,000 words. I'm pretty confident that I'll have it finished by the end of this year.

Challenges:

Get Your Words Out 2026: I'm now up to 53,049 words, or 70.73% of the way to my goal of 75K.

[tabularasafic]

State Of The Author :: February 2026

I have been seriously productive this month. This is even despite the fucking awful heat I've had to deal with -- the building my flat is in was built in the 1960s, is uninsulated and traps heat spectacularly well, and I don't have aircon. So I've been miserable as fuck and relying on two desk fans to keep myself cool while I'm on my laptop (plus my ancient box fan while I sleep). Hasn't stopped me writing though!

Works in progress:

Little Red Thread: chapters 2 AND 3 are done, and I've started on chapter 4. 7,624 new words written for an updated total of 14,926.

Challenges:

Get Your Words Out 2026: I'm not only counting what I write on Little Red Thread, I'm also counting all the supplemental materials for that story. Am now up to 23,637 words, or 32% done.

(Also regarding Little Red Thread, I did something I almost never do -- I've outlined the whole story from start to finish. I think it helps that I've already told myself the story, so I'm not going to get lost as I write. So not only do I know exactly what happens, but unless things change drastically I know how long it will be -- 27 chapters, two interludes and an epilogue, and a minimum of 110,000 words.)

[tabularasafic]

State Of The Author :: January 2026

Between dealing with family (and the ridiculous restrictions placed on me by certain members of that family - put it this way, I HATE being forced to be quiet), spending the better part of 24 hours travelling home a couple of weeks ago and the heatwave I'm enduring at the moment (IT'S SO FUCKING HOT), I haven't been able to get as much writing done this month as I'd have liked. Especially considering the writing goal I'm working toward this year. Main thing though is that I did get some writing done.

Works in progress:

Little Red Thread: still working on chapter 2. Got another 1,687 words written - new total 7,302. Still really, really tempted to start posting it to AO3, but I just keep reminding myself that I'm holding it back for Very Good Reasons.

Writing challenges:

Get Your Words Out: this is what I'm hoping will kick my arse enough to get Little Red Thread finished. My goal for the challenge is 75,000 words - so far I'm just over 2% done, with 1,687 words.

[authorinthemaking]

Writing is wild. One day you’re unstoppable and the next day you’re staring at your keyboard like it personally betrayed you.

[tabularasafic]

State Of The Author :: December 2025

I don't see myself getting any writing done today, so I'm posting this now. Am planning for next year to be a big year writing-wise, seeing as I can now dedicate the majority of my energy to writing rather than studying most of the year.

Works in progress:

Little Red Thread: this is the rewrite of Defying Gravity that I've been talking about since July. (I told you all it had a title.) Got another 1,078 words written for a new total of 5,625 words.

Plans for 2026: my primary goal for 2026 is to get the draft of Little Red Thread finished. The plan is to post it chapter-by-chapter throughout 2028, in celebration of Defying Gravity's 20th anniversary, and for that to happen it needs to be finished by the end of 2027. Finishing it by the end of 2026 will let me spend 2027 editing and refining it so that it's ready to be posted come January 2028. I need a minimum of 75,000 words to be able to consider it finished.

[gr8writingtips]

writing tip #4004:

ctrl+f "that". delete them all. you're welcome

[nixscriptum]

less of a poem, more of a reminder. ( ఌ )

[lacnunga]

There are some characters where giving them therapy and cleaning them up is the fanfiction equivalent of buying antique furniture and painting it white

[monstergili]

[veliseraptor]

hate it when you're noodling on a story and all of a sudden you're like. "oh no. I have thought of a way that I can make this stronger and more thematically coherent and impactful. but I don't like it"

[queenlua]

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one that added 35k extra words to the projected length of this fucking story ahgeilahgleiag

[fiollaigean]

if anyone feels bad that their fic might contain medical inaccuracies, be comforted to know that whatever creative liberties you take with your medical scenes can never be worse than the one I just read. where one character tries to stop the bleeding on their friend's head wound by putting a tourniquet around their neck

[tabularasafic]

State Of The Author :: September-November 2025

I FINISHED MY MASTER'S DEGREE *\o/* My degree gets conferred on Friday, which is when I officially graduate. It's been so nice to be able to write something that isn't an essay or otherwise academic. And for once, I've actually been writing.

Works in progress:

Defying Gravity rewrite: chapter 1 is finished, and I've started on chapter 2 - 2,051 words written, for a new total of 4,547. It is taking every last bit of self-control I possess to not go posting this one on AO3 yet. Probably helps that I haven't decided what its summary is.

[cryptinspo]

– 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗥𝗣 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 !   ( an assortment of dialogue prompts for most dynamics in a morning after setting. ) 

𝗮𝘄𝗸𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 / 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲

"So... about last night."

"Do you remember anything, or should I start from the top?"

"We said it wouldn’t mean anything. Did that change?"

"You can sneak out, or we can talk like adults."

“Did we make a mistake?”

 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 / 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲

"I could get used to waking up next to you."

"You drooled on my arm, just FYI."

"I made coffee. Thought you’d want to talk before the world comes back in."

"Let’s stay like this a little longer."

"Your hair’s a mess. It’s cute."

 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 / 𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱

"Okay, whose sock is this?"

"I thought that was a dream. It wasn’t, was it?"

"Is this the part where I apologize or make breakfast?"

"I swear I’ve never done that before."

"Please tell me I didn’t cry over pizza last night."

 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗳𝘂𝗹 / 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹

"We shouldn't have done that."

"I still love them. I'm sorry."

"I wish it could be more than just this."

"You deserve better than a night I can't remember."

"I don’t know what happens next."

 𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽𝘆 / 𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹

"Mmmph... Five more minutes."

"You’re hogging the blanket again."

"Coffee or cuddles first?"

"Your alarm’s been going off for ten minutes."

"Don’t talk yet. Just exist."

[cryptinspo]

–   𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗧𝗬  𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗖  𝗥𝗣  𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦   (  an  assortment  of  dialogue  prompts  for  the  angsty  lovers  )

"I wish I’d never met you. It would’ve hurt less."

"You keep leaving, and I keep letting you."

"Say you don’t love me. Lie if you have to."

"Was any of it real to you?"

"You always choose them. Never me."

"I’d rather fight with you than feel nothing at all."

"You looked at me like I was everything. And now you won't even meet my eyes."

"We’re not the same people anymore, are we?"

"Tell me when it stopped meaning something to you."

"I should hate you. I really want to."

"I waited. I waited until I couldn’t anymore."

"You said forever. That meant something to me."

"Don’t come back just because you’re lonely."

"I begged you to fight for us."

"This hurts more than I thought it would."

"You can’t fix this with a sorry."

"Stop pretending you didn’t break me."

"You made me believe I was enough."

"Don’t say you miss me. You let me go."

"You always knew how to ruin a good thing."

"We could’ve had everything."

"You loved the idea of me. Not the reality."

"You were home. Now I don’t know where that is."

"I don’t think I can survive losing you again."

"Please… don’t make me hate you."

[cryptinspo]

–   𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗖  𝗥𝗣  𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦   (  an  assortment  of  dialogue  prompts  for  all  kinds  of  stages  ) 

"You always look at me like that. Like you're waiting for something."

"Tell me to leave... and I will."

"Why does it have to be you?"

"I wasn’t supposed to feel this way about you."

"Stay. Just for tonight."

"You're the last person I should be falling for."

"If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to do something stupid."

"We could pretend. Just for a while."

"Say it again. Like you mean it this time."

"I didn’t come here to argue. I came here because I miss you."

"You have no idea what you do to me."

"Don’t smile at me like that. It’s not fair."

"I told myself I’d stop. I really tried."

"Your heartbeat’s loud. Is it because of me?"

"Don’t go. Please."

"You’re the only one who ever made me feel safe."

"Is this… more than a mistake to you?"

"I can’t lose you, too."

"Lie to me. Just once. Tell me you don’t feel anything."

"Why do you keep pretending this isn’t real?"

"Just one kiss. That’s all I’m asking."

"You’re all I think about when I shouldn’t."

"What if I said I’ve been in love with you this whole time?"

"Do you want me to stay?"

"You don’t have to say it back. I just needed you to know."