Head Chef on the SS Diarrhea

The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. 18+ | MDNI

[tacobacoyeet]

“I order the food, you cook the food, the customer eats the food. We do that for forty years, and then we die.”

about me𔓘rules𔓘works𔓘taglist𔓘tiktok𔓘ao3

THIS BLOG IS STRICTLY 18+. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Tacobacoyeet © 2026

[tacobacoyeet]

Brand New Day tickets: secured!!!

[tacobacoyeet]

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tacobacoyeet]

hi! I chanced upon I think your challengers anniversary playlist and some of the links under it no longer have a post attached. May I ask if/why you deleted them?

Hi!! I did delete several of them. To be completely honest, I hated most of them. I rushed through a lot of them; several of them were half-assed—overall just not my best work and not what I wanted to serve as a reflection of my dedication to this blog and my audience. Challengers never dies, though, so I'm sure I'll have some new work up eventually!! <3

[tacobacoyeet]

Brand New Day tickets: secured!!!

[tacobacoyeet]

hi! Is there someplace in your navigation that I can find your Challengaversery fics?

Hi!! Whatever is still up can be found here or on my blurbs/others masterlist!

[tacobacoyeet]

hi! genuine question, do you still use c.ai?

Hi! No, I don't. My account has been deleted for a while and I've been inactive for even longer.

[miolise]

MESSI IS WASHED HIT POOOOSTTTT

[tacobacoyeet]

okay just throwing this out there but how would we feel if i started writing for veep? dan egan in particular...

[tacobacoyeet]

I can't look at Patrick Ball for too long or else I start to get dizzy

[tacobacoyeet]

i want a coffee table book of every outfit zendaya has ever worn to look through and sigh wistfully over every morning while the sun filters into my apartment and i sip my black coffee and think sentences like 'if only i had continued acting, maybe i would be next to her in ysl'

[tacobacoyeet]

thinking about farmboy!whitaker... sweaty and muscle-y and blah blah blah...

[tacobacoyeet]

babe, what happened with the oh pudge bot??😣

Not on c.ai anymore!!

[tacobacoyeet]

how it feels to check your notifications and see a single reblog

[tacobacoyeet]

watched supergirl this morning feeling #powerful

[wanderlcust]

Gabriel Macht as Barkley in Sex and The City (1998)

[tacobacoyeet]

my very first thought when i saw this outfit was post-divorce!art donaldson who falls in love with one of lily's teachers

[mirclealignr]

that james potter fake dating trope will always be my fav... if you're interested ofc 🥰

yes!!!!

yours | j.p

fem!reader

- -

“fuck, potter, stop parading your bullshit about,” snarled evan in disgust.

james potter had his hand in the back pocket of y/n’s trousers, strutting about the castle and making sure all who walked by were watching.

it had been over a month since he started “dating” y/n in order to capture the attention of a certain someone. she’d been bent over backwards for some oaf in ravenclaw ever since he could remember. but james had regarded her recent proposal as the perfect opportunity.

“you know all about flirting and dating! you could teach me. you could date me! oh merlin, that would surely make him jealous enough to say something!”

this was the chance he needed and he seized it with such ferocity he was worried he’d scare her away before it had even begun. but, he composed himself, and reminded himself that this opportunity may never come again and he needed to tread carefully.

of course, blatantly cupping her arse in the hogwarts corridors was not treading carefully, per se. but he had built this fake relationship brick by brick over the past six weeks or so, and y/n had been warming to him, he was sure.

this was true of course. she had found herself unravelling before him as each day passed, each week. she worried everyday now that they would succeed in their quest but could not bring herself to call it off in case james didn’t feel the same about her and that when it ended, that would be it. it would simply end.

james had taught her many things over the past weeks, but one of the most important was that she should be sure of a man’s intentions and that he should be clear and honest. on this, she should trust her gut, he had said. well she wasn’t at all sure of james’ intentions—of whether they were simply to help her attain her crush or if there was something deeper lying beneath the surface.

“so, are we still on for tonight?” james asked with an easy grin.

y/n hesitated, for a moment forgetting this wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. “uh- yeah.”

his brows furrowed slightly as he took a step closer to her. he cupped her cheek gently and asked- “are you okay, love?”

she looked away from the intense gaze that had almost hypnotised her into revealing her deepest secret. “yeah, just…nervous.”

he looked at her with even more intensity, if that were possible. “no, there’s something else.”

“there’s not.”

“but i say there is. isn’t there?”

she could never lie to him. never from the moment she met him. he always knew. always saw through her, no matter what. for years she’d tried to get him to reveal her tell, but he never relented.

“i don’t get how you do that.” y/n shook her head.

“you don’t have a tell, y/n. i just know you. better than anyone. maybe better than myself. that’s why i’ve never been able to tell you what it is.”

y/n could only listen.

“i’ve taken the time to learn you, y/n. and i’ve never learned anything that’s made me want to turn away from you. i’ve only felt closer to you as every year passes.”

james took her face in his hands and brought her closer to him, looking her in the eyes so she knew he was in earnest.

“and if you would have me, i would be honoured to be yours.”

y/n couldn’t utter a word. for six weeks (longer if she dared to admit it) she had been falling in love with james potter and everything was about to be perfect. for once, she was about to get everything she wanted. she felt a buzz of energy encasing her whole body as james leaned in agonisingly slow.

as his eyes closed, she followed suit and waited for the feeling of his lips on hers. james wasted no time, enveloping her in a passionate embrace that threatened to unleash everything thought he’d ever had about her. but he pulled away before he could get carried away.

y/n smiled and laughed, pulling his head down to her shoulder and held him there. simply held him.

“we have time for all that.”

- -