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@tacocravr
About Me
Howdy! My name is Alice, I'm a trans girl living with my partner of 2 years.
I'm into video games, board games, reading, fashion, and dancing!
5'9"
SW: 250 lbs
CW: 172
Healthy GW: 125
Unhealthy GW: 110
Current Daily Calories: ~1500
If life doesn't get better when I'm skinny I'm genuinely just gonna pull the plug. This is my last hope. I just want to be beautiful, I want people to choose me, to reach out to me, I want people to invite me to stuff. I want to be loved.
Made it back under 170 this morning! I've barely eaten 1500 calories total in the last 3 days, but I can't tell what hurts because of that and what hurts because I'm super hungover from going out last night. Any of y'all got recommendations for multivitamins I should be taking? I feel like I mostly only eat some carbs and protein to give myself energy so I'm not getting any other nutrition that I need.
Also here's a shitty lil body check
I am currently locked in an intense battle between wanting to eat to feel okay and wanting to starve myself to actually fix the problem
I need to get worse
One really weird thing transphobic cis women will say is something to the effect of “I was a tomboy, thank god it was before the transgender craze. They would made me transition.” Like, probably not, girl. As you are a cis woman who has never communicated any form of gender dysphoria. It makes it really obvious that they think being transgender is just conforming to different gender roles. There is an ocean between a little girl who likes traditionally masculine fashion and has traditionally masculine interests and a child that is transgender. They are not a slippery slope. They don’t push you down the slide of transgenderism if you cut your hair short when you’re 12.
There are so many trans men who were never tomboys, who were the picture of the ‘perfect little girl’ and genuinely enjoyed traditionally feminine hobbies and expressing themselves in ways associated with femininity. It confuses and angers cis people when they come out as trans because they only see gender as a role to perform and not an identity. If you’re truly a woman, you’re generally not susceptible to randomly turning into a man. If you’re truly a man, you’re generally not susceptible to randomly turning into a woman.
when i hear transphobes say that i’m like damn, i’m sorry they squashed the tomboy out of you, i’m sorry that they told you it’s just a phase. i hope that you feminized your presentation because that’s what you truly wanted, and not because over time you ran out of the strength to resist the pressure to conform to gender norms.
i hope that every future generation of women is given the freedom to explore femininity and masculinity in any way that feels right to them. i hope someday they will see how trans rights advances the acceptance of everyone who doesn’t feel comfortable performing the traditional gender presentation of their assigned sex at birth.
i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.
Fuck cars
Forgot to take my meds this morning :(
I can already feel the urge to eat, if anyone has tips to help me at least make it through work so I can take my meds when I get home id appreciate it
Dinner! It's a lot of food but my partner made it and I'm not going over my deficit sooooo worth it!
Dinner! It's a lot of food but my partner made it and I'm not going over my deficit sooooo worth it!
The weekend was rouuuuugh. Saturday started off good, I barely ate until after the rave, at which point I scarfed down a whole bowl of tortilla chips. Not the worst thing in the world but still, ruined the day.
Sunday was a holiday so. Went to eat with my partners family, and everything was mostly fine until before bed, my partner and I went to Sonic and they gave us free mozzarella sticks again 😭 would've been okay if not for that.
Side note, having a partner with a stuffing kink is incredibly funny when you're trying to lose weight :/
I feel like absolute garbage this morning, dealing with a lot of acid reflux and my bowel movements aren't very cute rn. Gonna try to use the hatred I feel for myself to fuel my motivation.
Going to a rave tonight, should I A. Continue fasting so that the alcohol hits hard and fast B. Eat something so that I have more energy for dancing
get fucking wasted
dance till ur dead
Americans are so overfed holy shit..
edit : since SOO many ppl r getting their panties in a twist over this, IM american myself. the food chains in america are way too high calorie compared to the same food chains in europe or smth. Im NOT blaming the american society, im blaming the people that feed them.
Idk why people are booing u, ur right.
The volume to calorie ratio for literally everything is completely insane. When going out to a restaurant u either have to eat so little that you’ll be hungry an hour later at home, or you gotta be prepared to fit in anywhere from 1200-2500 calories for one meal.
They stuff in extra oils and sugar for literally no reason like I swear a solid 40% of calories from restaurant food is just oil and sugar.
Being American is the fucking worst (exaggerating, obvi)
Here's what I ate yesterday! I was at 172 before I ate, 175 after. Honestly feeling kind of nauseous this morning, I think I ate too many apples :(
WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO HARD TO STOP EATING AFTER DINNER AAAAAAAAAAAA
Feels like I always hit my goal perfectly at dinner and then fuck it up with late night cravings. I'll go all day long with perfect control and then throw it all away.
Why can't I just not eat???
I was at a 1000 calorie deficit last night, ready to go to sleep, but of course I had to go and blabber to my partner and they convinced me to go to sonic with them. I just got a small sundae but the server, bless his heart, gave us a large mozzarella stick for free 😭
Ended up over 250 calories over my goal. Still a deficit but ugh, I could have been better
I'm back! Tried to get off this app for my mental health but it seems the only way I lose weight is by hating myself :p
Been hanging with this girl who is so skinny and so so so hot that it drives me insane. Met her at a club, my partner and I have been trying to figure out if she's into us because she says flirty shit all the time but also drags her ex boyfriend everywhere.
Haven't lost much in the past month, just been maintaining, but that changes today!!!
