스탭 바이 스탭

kim taejin, titan 1993, actor / idol

[taejinfmd-archived]

aesthetic & headcanon / career trajectory 

taejin debuted in 11, marking 2021 as his tenth year in the industry. where many of his members have branched into the music scene, taejin found his own solo career in the form of modeling, fashion, and acting — enough to the point where he feels he has these three things mastered. now, he’s able to distinguish himself apart from titan in this new mold that bc has made of him. now, hair makeup, fittings, and late night call times mean nothing new to him. warnings / none wc / 698

taejin had no interest in pursing acting at first, and it was something handed to him in 2013. two years after debut, he was lucky enough to have the opportunity in a supporting role as lee hyoshin in the heirs.

the heirs was one of the most cringey dramas now that he looks back on it, but he can’t deny that it was a popular piece when it was first released. as a result, that really started his name — from the start, he played a role called “noona lover”, which became a hit with the general public. (maybe that’s why bc decides to push him down this avenue later on — but that will be explored in another headcanon).

it wasn’t for a long waiting time before he was casted in a new drama, it’s okay that’s love. the interesting part about this was the fact that it wasn’t a boyfriend related role, which is ironic that taejin got a lot of diversity early on his career compared to now. however, that’s basically bc seeing whether taejin was capable of being a diverse actor or if he was a one drama wonder.

enough about his acting as that’ll be covered in a separate headcanon — mainly, it’s just known that taejin is able to play a different and diverse set of rules. that all changes with parasite, where taejin gets the most traction in his acting career. with more public eyes on him than ever, bc knows that’s when they need to maximize on his image. so, that’s where the shift into the boyfriend image goes.

as mentioned, aside from acting taejin has also done a lot of modeling. though, the majority of this is post-parasite where bc is able to meticulously choose which brands they want taejin to work with. this is the ‘fresh’ image, or the ‘clean cut’ boy next door. because he has this reliable presence, that seems to make a mark with the rest of the general public.

it pays off because the brand deals come toppling like dominos after one brand works with taejin, another brand wants to because he boosts their sales. and at this point, taejin has been known to work pretty long with brands — one year at the minimum. the reason is for his polite demeanor and how he seems to charm the officials with his politeness.

but the modeling thing seems to bring in the most money out of all his avenues, hence why he’s given a lot on his plate by bc’s plate.

the other side gig taejin has from time to time is his work in fashion. though minuscule, you can count on him for the ‘church oppa’ image — meaning, he doesn’t diverge far with his fashion choices, always picking the sensible luxurious brands. 

however, his popularity in 2018 and 2019 lead him to get an extended invitation to paris fashion week. this paris fashion week modeling meant he was walking the runways for louis vuitton, marking the first big show for virgil abloh (virgil joined in march 2018, so his big creative touch would’ve shown in the june 2018 s/s show whereas before they had rollover things to take care of) 

this was interesting as taejin was never really into louis vuitton and the street fashion didn’t really make a mark with him — but the new clout of parasite which was released a month prior really added to the ‘clout factor’. plus, taejin is tall. tall and scrawny enough at that time to keep up with the models (kinda, sorta. not really but what can u do). 

it was his first real ‘luxury’ stint aside from boy de chanel. however, he was still able to take part in a luxury runway that not many idols can say that they did — and though he wants to work with future luxury brands, he can’t. at least not right now when bc doesn’t want him to do so.

so, as a result, taejin is just used to how things are. acting is his first gig, modeling is his second. in bc’s eyes, modeling is his first, acting is the second. fashion can be tossed in later, and music last.

[taejinfmd-archived]

fmdxmax​:

▬ bc vacay retreat @taejinfmd

cloud’s schedule was just right for max. he had enough room to indulge in his own projects and focus on diving further into the depths of composing and producing while still getting to perform with his boys and release new music. getting out a repackage right before the end of the year craziness began was a smart move of bc in his opinion so max was happy to be running from schedule to schedule, promotion period packed with shows and recordings. it gave him less time to think, less time to question or reflect upon potential negative shifts in their group dynamics after all of them moved out of the dorms.

always the one to focus on positive things he liked to think the cloud boys had only grown closer now that each of them had their own space. then again- it made him wonder if daehyun minded still rooming with max.

the moment the fresh winds of jeju hit his face however max decided to leave his worries back in seoul and enjoy this retreat for all its worth. smile widening across his lips he almost bumps into taejin on his way towards the beautiful view ahead of him, hands flying up to steady himself against the elder male as he stops abruptly to avoid a collision. “woah- sorry hyung. didn’t see you there.”

taejin remembers the younger years inside titan as blissful innocence. the kind of innocence that swallows the rose-tinted optimism that a ‘company resort’ stands more for face value than what it really entails — now, he’s ragged. ruined into knowing the actuality in where the truth lies: bc needs content. but even the sharp edged reality, shattering through any half-full cheer doesn’t make him exempt nor immune to partaking in the duties: stepping outside for the cameras in a pase of a wave, chattering with idols in the superficial conversation, nor does it exempt him from being able to wallow inside his own homemade cell, hotel room, all day. 

he’s found a breath of relief when he’s managed to sneak past anything he presumes to be the shutter of a lens, sneak past the hawk-gaze of his manager always balancing in check — instead, he’s found himself right in the middle of a beach, like some stereotypical portrait of a loner man.

relief doesn’t last long when he bumps into another figure, his hands patting down his shirt as he flickers a gaze up. “max, was it? nice to see you again, and happy to have met your acquaintance in jeju. enjoying your time?” more small talk, but lapses of solitary confinement leave him to reach out and extend conversation with a small smirk.

[taejinfmd-archived]

fmdduri​:

his hotel room was for two people, except sharing one bed - something that no one would really put their finger on. the perfect disguise in a way. it was a way of no one managing to suspect anything, really. even if he had his own room, he would somehow end up finding himself in maverick’s room, nonetheless. he really just slept better that way, to say the least.

but, now, he was out, wandering the streets with taejin, sometime after doing the tour. he feels like he’s blended into the crowd a bit with the older, the various chatters entering his ears, before falling out in quick succession, before moving onto the next. it was something that he was used to, rather accustomed to walking the streets. he looked upon taejin, a soft giggle leaving his lips, before he’s nodding his head. “when in thailand!” he reiterates happily. 

every time duri was on tour, he always missed homemade food - something that he simply enjoys making and eating. but, going to a restaurant was probably the closest thing to that, wasn’t it? he thought so. 

he thinks upon the question for a moment. “ah, khao soi! i could really go for soup and egg noodles,” he said.

thailand, and rigid memories only bring him back to the fan signing tour left on his tails. gone and slipped right through his fingers, yet another reminder that he’s hot completely off the hook yet — bc’s got him wrapped around when they parade him on stage for titan duties. it’s okay, however. at the very least, he can make the most of it, thinks he can make the most of it.

“thailand’s just always hot and humid — never good for the hair, if you get my drift.” and that’s the truth that coincides with his fingers brushed straight through his unkempt hair. “at least the stylists are around to fix the mess.” a laissez faire joke, partially soured by his half-hearted chuckle at the end of the words and he takes the corner around into the main food street with no disclosure to what eyes may catch up on the sight of two titan members strolling on the street.

save it for bc, and taejin’s willing to take his chances.

his eyes glide over the restaurant signs, not that he understands, but the slew of photos hung along the windows leave enough room to keep him less than guessing — that much he can pick up on. “you’re more cultured than i am. here i was thinking i just wanted the cliche pad see ew.”

[taejinfmd-archived]

fmdziqi​:

ziqi felt his hands curl into fists as the elder continued talking. he was never a very violent person but talking to taejin was starting to make him feel a lot more violent. murderous even. but maybe that was the fact he was tired and angry and he just wanted food and taejin was cutting in front of him and claiming senior privilege.

ziqi was all for showing respect to one’s seniors. he had grown up being taught that respecting those who were senior to you was incredibly important after all. he just didn’t like the idea that anyone senior to him could do whatever they wanted.

he wasn’t exactly wrong…which is what ziqi hated the most. going by pure seniority three years was nothing compared to what titan had under their belts. he forced a smile. “you’re right. i don’t have the same years of experience as you.” he said as sweetly as he could. “my bad. elders first.” it was the best that he could manage in this situation.

it’d look bad to start a physical fight but if taejin was so hung up on who was the senior here then ziqi would certainly have no problems falling right into line with that.

winning a petty game — kim taejin shouldn’t be smiling so smugly with his brows pointing a sort of ‘know-it-all’ attitude. yet, he stands with his hands tucked deep in his pockets, mouth curved from one cheekbone to the other, carved out and topped with the tilt of his head.

“in a few years, you might have enough experience. but by then, i’ll still have so many years above yours — but not to worry, i’ll always keep in mind your name.” taejin pauses, letting his tone waver off into a subtle quietness. “oh wait, pardon my manners. i’ve forgotten to ask. and your name?” whether he’s asked before, or the name sulks in the depths of his mind, the answer’s clear: he doesn’t care. least not enough to pull it inside his memories when everyone’s face just enters the revolving door of random hello encounters.

taejin plucks a tray from the line, his gaze turning past his shoulders to the back of him. “in case you needed a reminder — my name’s taejin. suggest you don’t forget it either.”

[taejinfmd-archived]

self para / 혼밥 

taejin goes to a meal by himself, and finds this feat now easy / second nature. he goes to a 맛집 all by himself, and has some sort of inner satisfaction because of it. warnings / food cw wc / 424

there’s other ways he could spend his time — practice rooms, outfit fittings, or sleeping his limited hours in seoul away. yet, kim taejin finds his time driving around, a hand on the steering wheel as he turns the corner and into the parking lot. 

a new hot place, plastered on social media. his peers rave, and he’s only one that follows the masses when he finds himself right before the lunch rush of office workers. 

food, and it’s all supposed to taste the same. but boredom and a lack of desire to cook anything from the confines of his kitchens lead him to the newest naengmyeon house nearby his apartment. but even public outings have precautionary measures. the first when he conceals half of his face with a mask, the second when he keeps his sunglasses glued onto his face and the third — the power of a simple ball cap. 

early on in the years, he’d want to scream. drag his manager across the streets of seoul to fulfill the lonely void of no company while eating. but slowly, even that starts to become a burden on those he extends hearts out for — enough so, he’s just found some ease in the lunchtime lines of eating alone.

one step through the door, and he keeps his gaze down to the floor. avoid eye contact, and that’s the first tip he’s learned after all these years.

he holds one finger in the air, a signal for a lonely hon-bap. but after so many years, even hon-bap consisting of grilling meat on a platter doesn’t phase him anymore. 

when his gaze peeks past the sunglasses, taejin only sees an elderly woman working alone before the entire rush hour of customers come in. the sight puts him at ease, the luxury of peeling away each layer of his ‘normal’ get-up before he’s seated in the hidden corner of the restaurant. 

the pan on the wall’s a menu, and when he scans the area, it’s the version of an old run-down restaurant, using the years of history etched into every trace of the food. four options, and by the time the elderly woman places a cup and water, taejin turns his head towards her. “one bibimmyeon, and one serving of galbi, please.”

her eyes widen as skepticism writes along her tone. “are you sure you can handle that? that’s a lot of food.”

taejin nods, the smile of a golden boy shining through. “of course, i’ll be sure not to leave any leftovers, boss.” 

[taejinfmd-archived]

playlist / taejin songs

taejin has a nice image — particularly clean inside of knight, and in the industry. no scandals, and no real smudge on his career. however, the main issue amongst his fandom is the fact that he hasn’t had a promoted single / album, despite their calls for wanting taejin to venture out solo. as a result, since fans can’t listen to taejin sing, they’ve created songs that remind them of taejin. these aren’t songs that fans necessarily want covered but more so that the general gist / aura really feel “taejin” to them. inside his fan cafe, you’ll see compilations of taejin in song form playlists — this is just one of them. warnings / none

1. 이대로도 예뻐 — 타코앤제이형 (you’re pretty as you are — taco & jhyung) 2. 미쳤나봐 — 소란 & 권정열 (stuck on you — soran & kwon jung yeol) 3. 미소천사 — 성시경 (smile angel — sung sikyung) 4. 핑크빛 너랑 — 베너비 (pink love — venoby) 5. 널 좋아 하나봐 — 어쿠스틱 콜라보 (i think i like you — acoustic collabo) 6. 있잖아 — 폴킴 (hey — paul kim) 7. 사랑이 뭔데? — 서현진 & 유승우 (what is love? — seo hyunjin & yoo seungwoo)

[taejinfmd-archived]

fmddaehyun​:

Schedules keep Daehyun busy and active - something he’s thankful for. As someone who is easily bored, Daehyun thrives in fast paced and chaotic schedules and situations. This lull in his schedule allowed Daehyun time to reset and relax before schedules kept him busy once again.

Daehyun is still new in the industry compared to most idols he’s met. There are still so many idols and groups he’s yet to meet and interact with. Having grown up all over the world, he’s still not used to the Korean culture and way of life. He’s learning as he’s going and he is thankful for his members and the idols who are understanding and help guide him when he’s at a loss. Thankfully, Taejin was someone he’s met before.

Daehyun nodded at the elder’s words and instructions. ❝ Right. I’ll try everything on for you, hyung, ❞ he smiled brightly. ❝ I’m sure I’ll like everything though since hyung is the one who picked it out. ❞ Daehyun slipped away towards the change rooms and changed into the clothes given to him. He looked over himself in the mirror - impressed with how different he looked just with the clothes alone. Taejin really knew what he was doing.

He emerged from the dressing room and made his way towards the older male. ❝ How’s this, hyung? ❞ He asked as he held his arms out to the side so the other could get a better look.

taejin passes his time with each second marked with the soles of his shoes, despite spending a few momentary pauses to flash the suave grins to pass the low expectations of everything the camera picks up.

his eyes pour towards the vision of the younger idol walking his way, taking a detailed look at the fit. “it’s not bad...” taejin begins, his voice falling to a pitch shorter — detailed looks, and extra attention to the small crinkles on the shirt, and the loose centimeters hanging over the circumference of the leg lead him to wave over a stylist. “i think we’ll need to actually go a size lower on the pants, and trim up a few centimeters off the bottom for a relaxed ankle hit.”

in an image that has him hinged up to a facet of perfection, kim taejin makes no risks in half-doing anything — give your all, as bc would preach. 

steps take him to walk around daehyun, now batting off the details of the shirt. “i think the shirt looks fine. though, we might need to add a few stylistic touches with the accessories — a hipsack maybe or a hat for a casual emphasis. what do you think?” 

[taejinfmd-archived]

starter for @fmdduri / food fighters in bangkok

a hotel room to himself, and taejin doesn’t expect himself wandering the streets at night — let alone, with his member. but there’s more things to do, and when tour rakes in the monotony, the most he can do is carve out anything to do other than stare at the same messages popping in and out from the glow of his screen.

his hands are lodged deep into his pockets, his head turned to face the sky before his attention skews to the chatter and clutter of the street noise and cheer of a crowd far too deep in their own after-work hours than to focus on two overworked titan members. “i heard this is the place to go for all the good thai food — when in thailand, might as well, right?” taejin muses out loud, voice dulled to a hum. 

lately, he’s been subject to too much room service and delivery food that miss the touch of authenticity. (funny, how he thinks he’ll manage finding that touch in a country how many kilometers away from seoul). perhaps, he’ll be caught in surprise, just as the pattern of life has strung itself to be as of late.

“did you have any idea on what you wanted to eat today?”

[taejinfmd-archived]

self para / alcohol woes

taejin drinks whiskey, thinking of his first legal drink he shared with his father. warnings / alcohol tw, alcoholism tw wc / 437

there’s a few things in life that doesn’t change: his mother’s number being the first on speed dial, his father always being an arms distance away. and the taste of brandy that sinks into his tongue after a long night.

he doesn’t know when he got his first taste of 30 year ballantine’s whiskey — or he does. he remembers it the strike of twelve right as the year switched over from twenty twelve to twenty thirteen. normalcy comes in waiting in line on new years, identification in hands at the local pub surrounded by a group of friends, waiting for the first taste of cheap soju. but kim taejin’s normalcy’s when he’s at his family’s pension in the country side, his father already hours beyond the bedtime of working hours. and the whiskey poured as he extends both hands cupping the crystal glass, waiting for the first sip.

when he looks back, it’s funny. the way he remembers the wrinkle of his nose, the squeamish pull-back from the first sip. funny how that sort of taste grows into a taste of nostalgia that brings him back each night he ends on a schedule.

like father, like son.

his father explaining the luxuries of whiskey, and some hyperbolization on how whiskey rests on the shoulder of the family business. (back then, two sips. he’d been rendered drunk — barely remembers the haziness of the conversation). 

all he knows is, whiskey tasted bitter that night. and at times, it still does.

still, he remembers the fondness of the first legal taste of alcohol on his tongue. remembers it each time he brings the glass to his lips, taking in a languid sip, watching the skyline of seoul from his apartment. 

loneliness doesn’t feel as lonely when he holds onto those memories.

the only difference between back then and now is the sobering feeling of drinking. drinking to feel sober, finding no shift in a mental place when he’s on his third glass. one leg over the other, his fingers tap against the glass one by one wondering if this is a phase of adulthood. perhaps, it’s all about growing up — learning to love the things you once thought was bitter, and feeling normal where once you were out of place.

things change easier done than said. it’s the paradox of growing up, and now he’s falling close to his thirties, no push or shove in what comes next.

(he pulls out his phone, texts a simple “아버지 시간 되실때 연락주세요. 술 한잔 하고싶습니다. / dad, when you have time, let me know. i want to grab a drink with you.”)

[taejinfmd-archived]

fmddaehyun​:

Having lived a busy and chaotic life, Daehyun’s never really had time to settle and focus on one particular thing. Even now he’s always moving around and finds it hard to stay still for a long time. There’s too much to explore and learn and too many people to meet. He’s an extreme extrovert and thrives in social situations and areas with massive crowds. A photoshoot was nothing to Daehyun.

One thing that Daehyun did when meeting other idols is become a major fanboy - especially if it’s a group he loves. Taejin was someone he’d been admiring from afar for awhile. Taejin was an incredibly talented vocalist and to be paired with him for this was like a dream. He couldn’t get rid of the wide grin spread across his face.

He listened to the older idol and nodded along with his words. Taejin seemed to know what he was doing plus  he was a very stylish person. Maybe, if only briefly, Daehyun can finally look like a normal person. It didn’t take long before Daehyun was lost. His expression dropped to one of confusion and he blinked numerous times the more Taejin spoke. He had no idea what half of the things the other were saying were. Slacks? Minimalistic? Ami or Wang? ❝ I-Um- ❞ He grabbed the clothes given to him and headed to the dressing room.

Suddenly he felt very sorry towards Taejin.

dressing another idol becomes the last of his worries when he’s been strung from schedule to schedule, fitting to fitting, barely salvaging sleep in between shuttle van to photoshoot set. 

too many people in passing — the staff, his members. some washed up group of a smaller company. then, the younger faces of the new generation. the tedium of schedules leave him to forget how to interact with the chiseled grins and modern-day rose-tinted filters of younger idols. but it doesn’t take long before he’s jolted back into the baseline remedy of an idol, taking an inhale as he bobs his head forward.

“for now, just get changed into this. you can learn as you go along.” it’s calling orders like a drill sergeant, light enough that it bites as a joke for the cameras rolling. “and if you don’t like any of the clothes, just try it once — however, if you really don’t like it after you try it, we can find something else.” 

it’s boredom that falls on his shoulders again as he waits, the manner his arms find an instinctive position across his chest and how his feet tap against the ground off-beat to the song playing in the background. one quick glance at his richard mille, and the seconds are a reminder that he only has lapses of hours left.

[taejinfmd-archived]

fmdduri​:

it felt like just yesterday that debut happened. but, time has moved by rather quickly and titan were already in their tenth year as a group. who would have thought they’d get here so quickly? it almost felt unexpected, to say the least. 

he nodded his head, “i am! it’s september 16th, it’s a full album after two years!” he says, a bit excitingly. though, truth be told, duri was rather excited for this album because of how much the album means to him. “all of my life was last year! i promoted goodbye at the end of july into early august,” he explains to the older, he didn’t find much odd that taejin didn’t know, taejin was rather busy himself, so it made sense. sometimes you just didn’t know. 

he chuckled softly, “ah, i really like pastel colors! maybe sometime in the future i’ll get more pastels for the ballads?” he says, shrugging softly. “i think i am a dreamer is gonna be slightly darker colors again,” he tells the other. he nodded his head, “that sounds about right. though, i always end up losing count because it becomes second nature at that point,” he says, a giggle leaving lips. 

“after two years?” a testament to how fast time phases out, and his eyebrow raises, tilting his head back. “has time already passed by that fast?” taejin’s been living life day to day, but the day to day transcends as the years flash in a blink of an eye — now, too much time’s passed to discern any of the finite details blanketed from his memory.

or maybe, he’s just been too hyper-focused on himself. 

it’s instincts in play, a survivalist industry of a dog eat dog world. yet, there’s a nagging feeling of guilt? high-strung apologetic ties? tugging at the pit of chest — it’s a reminder, he’s human too. no longer immune to the effects of an i-don’t-care attitude when spitting reminder of where his past decade loyalties lie.

“what’s the album about? or any tracks i should keep my ears open for specifically?” taejin eases into conversation, lets his fingers rest on the fabrics lining his shirt. it’s an olive branch, or to put it easier: an attempt to get caught up from the hazy mess of schedules he’s been lost in for the past years. 

[taejinfmd-archived]

fmdjoosung​:

he could have approached sooner, though the task would have been daunting all the same to himself. not many groups were able to be around as long as titan anymore, so there was much less to fear on taejin’s side. reasoning was solid, yet, why was his stomach sinking further down with every word? taejin may be a bit forward, something pretty much guaranteed to him with what time he’d had in the industry, although every sentence was properly polite. was he genuinely put off by the person in front of him, or by his own failures? it’d probably been too long stuck in his own head. sung internally knocked his brain around looking for the specifics of what had been asked.

“um, it’s alright. more memorable now that i’ve met you, and you haven’t rejected me.” sung attempted for a joke with that statement, though it fell flat even to his own ears. “i’m choi joosung, of quantum. i have a stage name too, um,” he paused to yank his lips upward into a semblance of a smile, and flower pose his hands under his chin, “sun.” that felt like a slight less of a failed joke, though, failure all the same. when his hands dropped, they balled up onto his pant legs. he nodded to the bar, “do you have a strong stomach? i wouldn’t have expected that.”

confusion finds itself in taejin’s face — slips and hides behind the glass he brings to his mouth. one gulp down, and professionalism smoothens things over inside a barely wavering expression, and a nod forward. “meeting me isn’t all that memorable.” at least, not inside an industry shindig. “and i don’t reject anyone — least not any junior idol that’s approaching me for the first.”

maybe it’s a lie, or maybe kim taejin’s just buying his boredom away from the executives. 

either way, he polishes on a look of interest, eye brow quirked up. “quantum — that’s dimensions, right?” too many groups, and not enough curiosity leads him to piece everything based on second-hand intuition, given however many years he’s put forth in the industry. (it’s a mere mental note to keep more tabs when he’s not completely extrapolated from the industry quite yet).

“i’ll remember you, joosung. sun, whichever one you prefer.” his hands raise the glass cupped in his palms with a voice that barely tips off another notch higher, taking in a tilt of his head. “a strong stomach? i wouldn’t say so, but so I’ve been told. join me in this cheers, no better bonding mechanism than alcohol itself.”

[taejinfmd-archived]

self para / friendships

friendships aren’t easily created, least not the kind that always has an open arms welcome. there’s the superficial ones but always the brick wall in between.  warnings / none wc / 402

does he have any friends? sure.

but it’s the question that digs like a knife like a sore spot that keeps getting aggravated by the same questions over and over. he has people, people to talk empty nothings with — how’s the weather? what are you up to? how are you?. but doesn’t everyone? 

friendship, and he’s never had a full grasp on what it means. younger years in school leave everyone as a parasite, sucking one connection to the next — rumors of his parents settling the basis for their welcoming hellos (as if sucking up to him would bring their parents upper on the occupational ladder). truth of the matter is, kim taejin can’t relate.

can’t relate to sharing a lunchbox in the school cafeteria — sharing the special little traces of mom’s touches, when his lunchbox was curated by a chef each and every morning. he can’t relate to what it means to march to the nearest hakwon, spend the last few minutes in the street corner, buying a 500 won ddeokbokki cup, when the family chauffeur’s been the first in line to pick him up after school. doesn’t even know what it means to kick the soccer ball in the neighborhood park when his own front yard’s the only grass he’s ever known.

a sad childhood — but he doesn’t think of it like that.

it’s all about opportunities — how he’s filtered out the majority of phonies wanting to claw up the social ladder, and share his goods. they’re parasites, at least — that’s how he’s always thought of it.

friendship now in 2021, and he still doesn’t know what it means.

there’s a layer of privacy, a brick-wall that stands high in the middle between him and the passing souls he meets. curiosity peaks, and he extends a hand out — a hello, a high five. curiosity brings him to small conversations, yet never leads to the open arms entrance into his life.

maybe it’s age, or maybe it’s the test of too many years in titan.

all the money in the world, but there’s a cliche that’s true: money doesn’t buy friendship, it lengthens the distance.

so, with his cold stares and ambivalent expressions, he carries on. one step after another, looking forward with no regard to looking back. each person’s conversation making a lasting impression that only holds until the moment ends. taejin wonders, will he ever find a friend?

[taejinfmd-archived]

fmdjun​:

yejun lets out an airy laughter at the response to his joke, his eyes shifting from the male and onto the rack of clothes, “ are you saying you would not look wearing a potato sack? ” he feigns ignorance, surely taejin knew he would look good in almost anything so yejun really had his work cut out for him.

“ something that flatters you? ” he gives the other a look of playful disbelief, “ might as well ask me to solve world hunger, giving me such an impossible task. ”

 jokes aside he was fully aware of how attractive taejin was and what clothes would suit him, with legs longer than both their careers, minhyun would truly suit anything that he was put in but he had already parepared something. something comfortable that would suit the weather now getting cooler. from the rack he pulled forth a pair of jeans, a black belt and a simple black linen shirt, “ i was thinking we could take our pictures outside today. ”

yejun hands it over to the other, “ here you go. ”

“as if.” taejin blurts, huffing out his chest wide. “more of a, i’d prefer not to be caught dead in a potato sack.” with a cesspool of different outfits, different eras. different time stamps throughout the ages, anything becomes cemented for permanency in today’s modern world of constant sns uploads, and flashes of cameras. there should be a morsel of understanding telling him to accept any outfit and move on, but on the contrary: he’s kim taejin — and kim taejin refuses to look anything less than perfect for the screen.

his laughter cuts the break of the self-imposed haughtiness as he acts back into the days of the schoolboy glean — entertained, half-composed. the bridged into a lopsided smirk. “black isn’t my color, but suppose i can make an exception for today — also, linen crinkles easily. do you prefer the setting be tucked in or let out? you’re calling the shots today.”

hand extended, and acceptance comes in a mouth jutted outward, nodding accordingly to the beat of the background music in the studio. blithe touches and all, he pivots on the ball of his foot before taking to a quick glance past his shoulder. “you’re lucky my fans are accepting — this outfit may work, i’ll have to hand it to you for picking a good one.”

[taejinfmd-archived]

famed base magazine / interview 

the series of questions asked, and taejin answers as much as he can to public scripts. (boring answers)

1. what one word or phrase would you use to describe your 2021?

“good.” he laughs, comes out too corny for his liking. he shakes his head, turning a chin at the interviewer. “i’d say, the greatest year instead.” 

2. how have you and your group grown this year?

“we’ve been around for so many years as bc’s oldest group, so it’s hard to say how the group has grown. suppose, we’re all in our individual paths, and exploring our different avenues making a name for ourselves in that way. that includes me as i’ve had a lot of acting opportunities, and modeling ways to separate taejin versus taejin of titan.”

3. what has been your must-have fashion item recently?

“basic black t-shirts. we’ve grown past the white t-shirts this summer, and since the weather is cooling off, you can’t have too many black t-shirts. each one has a different material and fit, so you can style it accordingly and all differently, which is it’s charm. aside from that, my must have fashion? i don’t know if i consider it fashion, but my dyson hair dryer — i can’t use anything else now.”

4. how would you describe the concept of your solo pictorial and how you came up with it? 

“minimalism. i’m a maximalist that wants to be a minimalist, so that’s the concept — in real life, i have an abundance of everything. i buy five of my favorite skin care items in case it goes out of stock. but that’s not the point. i just wanted to show something down to earth, and present something the fans enjoy. i know they prefer to see me in basic settings, and ideal lighting — plus, i thought it would be fun to have an orange sofa as summer is also setting down. my thoughts were really in the eyes of the fans for this one.”

5. talk about your exclusive x base stage performance. 

“after the photos of my fan meeting came across, fans really enjoyed the field concept. once again, i thought i would give the fans what they liked, and show myself in a field. i don’t have many songs to perform at all — in fact, i only have one. so, i decided instead to give them a cover as they seemed to enjoy the fan cams from my concert. it’s a gift to those who weren’t able to attend the fan meeting.”

6. what are you most interested in these days?

“reading.” it’s a blatant lie, easily executed as he bites down on his tongue, smiling widely. “i like reading poetry, and reading before i go to sleep. i’ve been told it helps calm the soul, and in a way, it’s like meditation to me.” the words become harder to form when the last lines of anything he’s read are merely scripts and nothing else — so, he pauses, leaves the transition to the next question.

7. what is something you want to do in the future?

“i want to act more, but in roles that fans aren’t used to. i’ve been vocal about this for many years, and since fans have become so used to me being the boy next door or the funny image, i thought i’d want to test myself to see if i could step out of my boundaries and do something else. if i’m being greedy, then i’d like to win a baeksang.”

8. what kind of role would you like to play?

“i’d ideally want to do something in the other side of the boyfriend role — a villain, maybe? but that could scare off some of my fans.” taejin lets out a light chuckle, masked behind the palm of his hand. “a crime movie or in a mafia, but those genres tend to have age restrictions and i wouldn’t want to prevent any of my fans from watching.”

9. is there anyone you would want to work with?

“han gain sunbaenim — that would be a dream. however, i’d be so tongue tied that i don’t think i’d be able to say a word or act properly. other sunbae’s i’d like to work with are jo woo sung, lee jungjae, ha jungwoo, cha taehyun. they’ve all been figures i’ve looked up to for the past years, and it’d be a dream to work with some of them.”

10. how do you balance idol life and work life?

“always having a humble mindset. i know there are people who don’t have opportunities like i’ve been given, and i’m blessed to have fans that continously support me throughout everything i do. i think, just learning how to switch from idol mode to the actor mode — knowing there’s two different instances on how to act is a start and making the most of your downtime. it’s always important to learn how to relax.”

[taejinfmd-archived]

fmddaehyun​:

☸ STYLE ME ☸

Bang Daehyun was perhaps the least fashionable idol currently. He often wore whatever he happened to grab at the time and wouldn’t bother to check if it goes or check the style. His airport fashion was atrocious and he was often teased by fans for his poor fashion sense and lack of style. So when he had heard about the latest photoshoot and the things associated with it, well, he felt deeply for whoever he was partnered with.

Thankfully, Daehyun discovered he was to be paired with @taejinfmd​. Having admired the other idol for some time, he was aware of how stylish and, to be honest, cool Taejin was. He was actually excited to see what the duo could create. As long as Taejin didn’t want to model then they were going to be fine. In fact, Daehyun had made it known that he wanted to be a model rather than the stylist.

❝ Hyung! Can I first just say I’m a big fan of your style and look. I’m excited to see what we can come up with! ❞ He grinned brightly. ❝ What should we start with first? ❞

there’s two things taejin cares about: himself, and how he looks in the seat of an observer.

it’s each reminder of how he’s perceived forcing his spine to tighten a bit straighter and to fine-tune his words for the polite composure in light of any wandering eyes on set.

it doesn’t slip past when he’s walking through set, a collected professional when he spots exactly who he’s supposed to — another bc face, a junior. someone he doesn’t really know, but even an arms distance doesn’t separate the formalities that bc upholds their family relations to.

his chin dips, a small facet of a grin barely surfacing along his mouth. “thank you.” and what he means is, i know. but modesty is key when dealing with manners. “we’re going to be doing something minimal — every person needs a minimalistic photoshoot at least once in their life. we’re going studio lights, and just a plain white back drop, touching on warm tones. as for clothes, try these slacks on.” 

taejin scans through the lines of clothes, picking away at a pair of black slacks. loose fitting — all in the safe for the basics of anyone to wear. “and try on this black shirt. i didn’t know if you had a preference for ami or wang.”

[taejinfmd-archived]

base magazine self para / group photoshoot

georgio armani and taejin complains for 234329 hours about how armani sucks as a brand and how much he hates wearing armani because it’s for 40 year olds. his ‘ugh as if’ moment. warnings / mentions of smoking tw wc / 431

it doesn’t matter how young you make clothes. the brand has an essence to it — each one having a certain layer and aura to make it fit.

when kim taejin finds out the shoot consists of racks of armani, and the lined sweaters and oversized coats leave him to scour each and every piece, he takes a deep breath. there’s resignation in each and every exhale he lets out, knowing there’s no hope to sway the minds of the directors nor the hands of bc who landed him here.

armani, a brand he’s known. yet, each styling piece consists of a knock off of kim jones’ dior, riding on the fame of alessandro michele’s new rejuvenation of gucci — each one still old when it’s branded by the name of armani. age is nothing but a number and fashion is timeless, he’s been told time and time again. but when the first number of his age starts to inch near three, and he’s living out the last of his twenties, any jab at age becomes a sore spot for taejin.

he wonders why they couldn’t have signed on gucci at the very least — when the brand consists of jovial and young life. then again, he figures maybe titan’s sheen has worn off, and bc takes a discount through armani.

the easy price tag, and at this point, he’d swipe his own black card to pay for a do-over.

because it’s written all across his face, the distaste to wear something for the forty somethings who’ve found some upgrade in their office worker jobs. 

bc’s elitism doesn’t transgress towards any easy business deals, he guesses.

taejin looks through each and every piece. an easy copy of last year’s spring summer haider ackermann, and an even more evident one when the fall winter become carbon copies of dries van noten. each look gives him another edge of frustration, that by the time he’s gone through the first rack of clothes, he’s given up. he’s fallen back to the waiting game on the sofa, letting the hands of the staff take over one by one.

his hands itch for the hit of nicotine to quell his nerves — but the look on the clock signals that the minutes left in the waiting game aren’t enough to wash away the smoke smell entirely. so, he sits antsy — knees bobbing up and down as his feet tap, trying to think of happier thoughts as the time runs out.

easy said. time does run out.

“kim taejin, you’re next — these are the outfits we selected for you today.”