What Itās Like Loving Harry James Potter
If you asked Ginny, sheād tell you what it was like loving Harry after heād gone and died in a war he was much too young for. He was quiet, mostly, lost in his head. He was also very angry, usually, and hid it fairly poorly. He walked away during arguments and slammed doors, tried to explain the complicated things he was feelingāitās like fire, thereās a fire burning me up and I want to get away, I want it to stop, but I-I canāt and it just wonātāloving him was like any first love. Messy, complex, complicated. Intense, because thatās what he was. Heartbreaking, because they were young, but they taught each other things and she saw him grow and change and try and it counted for so much in her book. Like any first love, it ended and she doesnāt regret that it did or that she loved him.
If you asked Dean, heād tell you all about Harry Potterās special kind of romance. That it was nice not having to translate parts of himself, cutting isms and analogies into a Frankenstein-esque version of identity, if only to be more palpable for an uncompromising audience. How it was their first queer romance and it was exciting the way opening gifts on Christmas was. It was also terrifying, the way first learning to drive had been. They taught each other patience and tried to understand anotherās fear of love. It was experimental and erotic and exhilarating. It also wasnāt going to last. They both knew it from the beginning; they were too differentāneeded different things out of life and approached it in ways that the other thought archaic and wrong. They argued and communicated in different ways but taught one another the importance of talking and power of listening, a lesson they still carry with them to this day. If asked to look back, Dean would tell you he was grateful to have loved someone so different.
If you asked Draco what it was like to love and be loved by one Harry James Potter, he might tell you all the things Harry did that scared him at first. Heās far too giving for his own good you see, heād say, which, for someone like me, creates a multitude of terrifying dilemmas. He could go on and on about how Harry and him used to argue over every little thing, until they realized how much of what was stuck between them after the war had less to do with the past nature of their relationship and more to do with the uncertainty of its future. How, once they realized they wanted the other around, they had to learn how to talk and, once they realized how similar they thought, it was easy to say things to one another. It turns out, Harry did like Draco's bluntness and it turns out Draco really did appreciate that he didnāt have to second guess Harryās words, once he finally figured out Harry was the type of man to say exactly what he meant.
It turns out, loving Harry is the easiest thing Draco has ever done because Harry loves to do things with his hands, good things, like tend to his garden or help carry the heavy bags in from the market. Heās thoughtful and kind and knows how to say, I canāt talk about this right now but I promise you Iāll come back when I can, which is something Draco really needs to hear after a fight. He listens to Dracoās chaotic ideas and is honest about what he thinks. Heās unashamed to take Dracoās hand in public and twirl him around for the hell of it. He loves a good adventure and knows how to keep things fresh and exciting. Heās smart and can go toe-to-toe with Dracoās games of wit.
Draco can let down the Malfoy faƧade and be soft around the edges for once because Harry takes care of him and Draco takes care of Harry, and itās nice to know that someoneās always in his corner.
If you asked Draco what its like loving Harry, heād have a very long list of things he could tell you, but heād rather just say: itās really rather lovely, because, well, it is.
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