#;inner thoughts

[hydrangeea-blog]

thoughts that cross my mind pt 1/_?

[wclfwiife]

dear diary,

[        Maybe it’s the hormones.. most likely that,  but I find myself sitting here alone crying over this man tonight Not for any other reason than the undeniable emotion, the love I have for him.  He walks into the room and my heart does that little flutter dance it’s done for years and years... I would’ve guessed that reaction would have died down by now, especially as I see him everyday? But no, it’s still just as relevant today as it was when I saw him, and I mean saw him in that way, so many years ago. When I stopped seeing him as just the leader of this new place.. and began to see him as the man he is. The man I’ve always seen. The man I fell in love with... The man I wish he could see in his own reflection...the way I do. the way I always have. He’s special. He’s meant for so much more than this. I wish I could give him the peace he deserves. Maybe that another reason for my tears tonight... the helplessness I feel when he suffers. He doubts and berates himself so much...no matter what I tell him. Those thoughts of his, those feelings have been beaten into him through the years, chiseling away at any good quality he has, and he has so many of them. It may be that, sometimes it destroys me watching him continually doubting himself...to see him sad and frustrated and potentially feeling alone. I hope that my presence will continue to comfort him but sometimes I’m afraid too, that the outside world will be too much for even me to bring him back to a contented place. But that’s not what this is tonight.  Tonight it’s just..love. I know because I’m not worried in this moment. i know that will change soon, tomorrow perhaps, maybe even after I’m through writing this but in this current moment, I just feel so much love for the man just downstairs. The father of my kids... an anomaly in itself I never thought would happen with anyone. And here I am, expecting my second child with this man. I am over the moon to welcome this one too, tonight, those initial fears are absent just now. Of course they will return tomorrow, and I will be afraid again, to bring another baby into this mad world. But it’s quiet right now and all I feel is love. For my kids. All of my kids. And their father, my husband, the love of my life. I want the world for him. The best world. For he gave me his best when I was at my worst and vice versa. We are this epic entity that works as one, it’s almost magical. I haven’t ever loved someone so much and I suspect I never will. No, I know that I won’t because this is...irreplaceable love. I couldn’t put this love aside if I wanted to. I’m more than okay with that. He’s more than I could have ever wanted and far more than I have ever deserved but he’s mine ad I’m his and all I feel tonight, is love. And I’m grateful. Tear stained pages be damned, I love him. And in the end, my end or the world’s, I will keep loving him and our children and I know, that our legacy, will never die.    ]

She set her journal down, looking at the picture she kept inside of Rick. She smiled through her tears, running a finger lightly over the surface of the worn photo paper before returning it to its place between the first and second pages. Slipping the book back in its secret-ish home in the bottom drawer of her bedside table underneath a few scattered papers and an old scarf, Ash sat back in her chair, knees bent as she huddled into her blanket. Her hand lay peacefully on her stomach as her eyes fell shut for a moment, the feeling she’d written about still very much present as she’d begun to fall asleep. 

[dimidiumxgenus-blog]

Don’t tell me how to be           ‘Cuz I like some suffering 

Don’t ask me what I need           I’m doing fine here finding me 

[vindicavi-blog]

Visit Original Link

Spring; came falling from this twilight sky, making the flowers bloom; The important  p r o m i s e, I’ll be looking for your smile forever.

                                  — — — — — —                           When I awoke from a dream;                           Seasons had passed,                           And everyone was  g o n e.                           Memories continue to sound,                           And are placed on a  p a i n f u l  song.                                   — — — — — —

Spring; came falling from this twilight sky, making the flowers bloom; Hey, I wonder if you and I can remain friends  f o r e v e r?

[ursideglacie]

Headcanon #1

   Very few have ever heard the General's voice in a way that does not exude a commanding tone nor barking out orders to her subordinates, but it is not always so harsh and bitter. When she was smaller, and much less bitter towards the world itself, Olivier Armstrong had received vocal training as a girl, and has an almost bewitching singing voice. Nowadays though, she lets no one hear her in such a way, thinking they'd only hold a lesser opinion of her after hearing something so feminine pass the General's lips.

   But still, Olivier hasn't forgotten her own intonations, and can sing quite well still. A preference for soprano.

[ursideglacie]

★

(x)

   She couldn't move a muscle as screams echoed around her, every fiber of being yearning to move and help her men as the snow outside Fort Briggs was dyed crimson with their blood. Somehow, Drachma had managed to take the upper-hand in this battle, and the Briggs Bears were costing dearly for it.

   Some unholy force kept her at bay though, just out of reach of the action. The Amestrian let out a blood-curdling screech, her voice lost in the chaotic sounds of the blizzard and carnage before her. This wasn't real, this wasn't happening, her body frozen as she helplessly watched her subordinates fall prey to the Drachman soldiers leading such a massacre as this.

   Calories burned and muscles ached as she tried to assist her falling troops, another scream loosing itself from her lips, fear and anger swirling around in her as she crumpled to her knees, she tried holding back the freezing tears to no avail salty tears froze to pale cheeks as her body trembled, blood running cold as she could do nothing to help her fallen comrades.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A scream passed full lips as the Major General sat up in her bed, a cold sweat covering her skin as she trembled, taking shallow breaths to try and alleviate her sudden panic. 'It was only a dream.' She thought, barely able to shake off such a vivid dream.