#;message.

[turtlemin]

i saw that, and i thank you dearly for the thoughtful response. oh darling, i do hope that you don't strain yourself too much with life these days-- unlike me. only the heavens know when i'd drop by again next. i'm glad you think of me so highly, though! i still wish you all the best in life, my dear tohru.

And I will be waiting for you! With ice cream cake! Perhaps I’m being silly. But know that I’ll be here when I can. And when the universe allows that we will both come into each others arms again, perhaps share a few stories over boba. Laughs and smiles. Just know you will always have me, along with other people I’m sure, to come back to. You live on in this heart of mine--and I couldn’t possibly ever forget you. Here’s to you...to us. To making the remainder of this year, I mean it’s almost April already, a good one. My lovely Rin. Until we meet again. Stay healthy. Continue dazzling us with that beautiful smile and personality of yours. 

[apostative-blog]

♘ ☮

relationship headcanons 

♘ for a favorite teacher headcanon -

carrillo’s favorite teacher was probably a teacher in high school, ms. ríos. she was his english teacher. he probably resented having to take english as a foreign language, but she was a cool teacher bc she got his reasons for not wanting to learn it. of course she was still hard on him——didn’t take his bullshit and the typical teenage attitude he probably gave her, but she was fair and that’s what carrillo respected in the end. she was the first teacher he told when he got into college.

☮ for a self headcanon -

carrillo’s accent is pretty obvious to people who hear him speak in english. he speaks english well, obviously, since he uses it on a daily basis, but he’s the type to not want to lose his accent bc to him it represents identity and frankly, it’s sort of a fuck you to racists??? idk if that makes sense, but idk i feel like he wouldn’t lose his accent. i basically picture his accent as being oscar’s voice in a most violent year (watch the first 30ish seconds of this video to hear), maybe just a smidge more pronounced

[apostative-blog]

☮!!

relationship headcanons 

☮ for a self headcanon -

carrillo's first memory is from when he was about four years old and was sick. his mother was about twenty at the time and had to take off work to take care of him, something that cost them a lot of money in those days. he'd just woken up and heard his mother mixing something together to help him feel better. he think he got out of bed to go to her, but he doesn't remember too well.

[apostative-blog]

define love B)

the definition of a word is always the story that creates the word for your character, so put a “define ______” in my ask to hear how they learned that concept.

{ ✞ }          Love, for Carrillo, is a crowd. He sees a sea of faces,                      but only a handful stand out. If he's to be completely                      honest, there's only one face if you're talking about                       that kind of love.

                                                      Love for him comes in shades of red. Red                                                      when they meet, red when they fight, red                                                      in good times and in bad, red when he leaves.                                                      The shades of red turn light and dark depending                                                       on the situation. Some are brighter, more vivid                                                       than others.

        He thinks of her as the ashes in the        cigarettes he smokes far too much         for his own good. Red and orange        flickering, smoke filling every bit of         his body. It may have been thirteen         years since they were together, but         he still can't get her smoke out of his        lungs and it'll kill him one day.

                                                     He's been called 'emotionally stunted' by many                                                      a person before and he can own up to that.                                                      Unfeeling, though, he isn't. He coughs as if to                                                     dislodge the smoke that's been absorbed into                                                      his lungs, only to no avail. LOVE has never been                                                     easy to shake off. As the old Bible verse says,

               ❝ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does                not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others,                 it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps                 no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but                 rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts,                 always hopes, always perseveres.

                                                               Love never fails. But where there are                                                               prophecies, they will cease; where                                                                there are tongues, they will be stilled;                                                                where there is knowledge, it will pass                                                               away. ❞ ----1 Corinthians 13:4-8

[apostative-blog]

define faith, u stalker

the definition of a word is always the story that creates the word for your character, so put a “define ______” in my ask to hear how they learned that concept.

{ ✞ }         Faith, if you had asked him years earlier, was nothing                      but smoke and mirrors. Faith was the thing with spikes                      that cut those who held it, even if they clung to it for dear                      life. No one was saved through faith; faith was the currency                     of the destitute, handed out by those who had no need of it                     and whose very existence depended on the faith of the poor.

    He blinks. It isn’t as simple anymore. He still    prefers action to prayer, prefers the rallying    cries of the people to the quiet clink of rosary    beads and the wafting scent of incense. But    now he can’t write it off so quickly, because     doesn’t communism require some bit of faith?    And doesn’t the Church teach that faith is when    the intellect realizes a divine truth and accepts it?     These issues have always been points of    contention for Carrillo, too many conflicting    points than he’s able to make sense of.

                                                                  ❝ -— FAITH is what helps us go on                                                                  when nothing else is there, ❞ he                                                                   says, clearing his throat before he                                                                  says it. Most of Carrillo’s sentences                                                                  are half-truths: a middle ground                                                                  between his beliefs and what he                                                                   preaches. 

[apostative-blog]

judgement, the sun, the moon, the tower

put a tarot card in my inbox and i'll answer the question 

judgement: would your muse ever go back to their most recent ex-lover? 

were the circumstances different, probably. he obviously can't right now, considering he's a priest. but were the circumstances different and they managed to actually get past the issues they had, yeah, he probably would.

the sun: what was the happiest moment of your muse's life? 

already answered!

the moon: has your muse ever had something unexplained happen to them? If so, what?

nothing that he couldn't reason away. 

the tower: what event would trigger your muse's breaking point? 

gosh probably just??? him coming to the realization that he's irrelevant to the world and that he hasn't made any sort of change. which is ironic bc he's so pessimistic and a complete and utter nihilist but i think he'd just have to become absolutely disenchanted with his life and someone important to him would have to tell him that he's irrelevant and really, doesn't make any sort of effect on the world.

[apostative-blog]

The world, the sun

put a tarot card in my inbox and i'll answer the question 

the world: what has been your muse's greatest success? 

he doesn't really look at his life in terms of big successes and big failures, but probably the work he did while he was in college, the protests and what not. even if it didn't change many minds, he'd still look at it as a success. really, he'd be more proud of it than anything else.

the sun: what was the happiest moment of your muse's life? 

probably when he got into college??? bc at that stage in his life he was pretty set on graduating, doing that whole thing. he'd probably just be happy he was able to do, although i think he'd never really say ONE specific moment was the happiest in his life; it's just not something he really does.