#{this is embarrassing}

[asteronomical]

can we discuss gracerocky's problematic courting rituals gap.

rocky: per eridian courting rituals i have woven the sound of your heartbeat into mine and i will sing you its song

grace: uhm. shoot, what do i... uh. i got you this origami flower? haha...

[coyoteshane]

I know we all enjoy shane humping ilya's leg, but what about a needy ilya humping one of shane's thick thighs while one of shane's big hands is buried in ilya's hair (pulling just a little which earns shane a low moan from his boyfriend), and the other loosely around ilya's throat. meanwhile ilya is stroking shane's cock, telling shane all the dirty things he's gonna do to him later

[hckzee]

— fraternising with the enemy?!

synopsis: wherein hoshina soshiro visits the first division base with the sole mission of seeing his precious, darling wife (and, of course, piss off captain narumi while he's at it)

The operating room was currently a mess. Everyone was speaking too loudly to their respective officers—barking orders, confirming, and providing updates on the kaiju attack. You were at the front and centre of it all, being the operator to Captain Narumi Gen himself. He expected quick updates on his unleashed combat energy, the locations of the kaijus, and steady reports on Hibino's use of Kaiju No. 8.

There's just one, teeny, tiny problem…

"[Name]," Captain Narumi called out, "I've handled the yojus on the southern side of the city. How are things looking?"

"Good work, Captain," you complimented, changing the drone camera to see the other officers. With experienced speed, you gathered everyone's statuses with their combat energies and their neutralisation with the kaijus. "The platoon captains have their sides handled, and it seems officers Hibino and Shinomiya have safely evacuated the remaining civilians within the vicinity—"

He cut you off before you could finish. "Yeah, yeah, the first division's doing their job. Any chance I could return to base right now?"

You felt a vein throb in your neck. This guy really has no sense of urgency when it comes to anything but his damn games and shopping addiction, huh? "Absolutely not, captain," you flatly rejected.

"Hah?! Why not? Everything's been dealt with!"

Another vein throbbed at your temple. Talking to the first division captain often feels like talking to a stubborn child, but with the arrogance of "Japan's Strongest Anti-Kaiju Combatant." A novel-length scolding could enter his ears and go straight out the other if it wasn't related to his interests, or god forbid, paperwork he was obligated to finish as a captain.

"Because Captain Narumi Gen of the First Division," you enunciated flatly, examining the battlefield with precision as you signalled to your co-workers to send some medics to a platoon. "You are still needed there."

"You said everything's fine and dandy. So, now you're lying, huh, [Name]."

"Please don't put words into my mouth, Captain," you sighed, the throbbing now echoing in your ears. Although before you could order him to advance towards the street, a familiar hand suddenly went past your shoulder and took hold of your connection with the captain.

"My, my, is that any way to treat yer operator, Captain Narumi?"

You felt another vein throb at the back of your head as your husband, Hoshina Soshiro, winked at you with the same playful demeanour he had with his subordinates. The first words in your mind were, "I miss you, Soshiro," quickly replaced by a doomed, "Why the hell are you here, Soshiro?" Despite feeling your muscles loosen from the warmth emitting from your husband, you couldn't deny the incoming headache you—and your co-workers—were about to witness due to Soshiro's arrival.

And, as expected, Narumi's demeanour shifted instantly the moment he heard Soshiro's voice. "What the hell are you doing in my turf, Hoshina?! Don't you know that third division officers aren't welcome here? Go back to Tachikawa!"

"Is it such a crime for a husband to visit his darling wife at work, Captain?" Soshiro drawled, placing his cheek on top of your head. His left arm found its way around your waist, a hand placed firmly at the curve of your waist. You could feel his thumb pressing gently against your side, drawing familiar circles that usually calmed you down, but did the opposite in the current situation (it still calmed you down).

"Don't you dare display any PDA on my turf with my officers, Hoshina! I'd have you fired immediately for abuse of superiority!"

"The only one abusing their powers is you, captain," you sighed, grabbing back your device from a smirking Soshiro with a pointed look. However, your husband merely grinned and stole a quick kiss on your cheek. "I apologise for the interruption, Captain Narumi, but—"

"[Name]!" Narumi screeched, causing everyone (minus Soshiro) to wince from the volume. "How many times do I have to tell you to divorce him already! I can't have a member of the first division fraternising with an enemy!"

Oh, boy. He's back at it again, you internally sighed. Your eyebrow twitched as you watched the supposedly strongest soldier on the battlefield crouch down and grip his hair tightly, all the while muttering about loyalty to the division and whatnot. Honestly, you heard the order so many times that you considered doing it as an April Fool's prank, just to see the captain's reaction the following day.

"Tsk, tsk, demanding such personal requests from yer operator has to be a misconduct, right, darling?" Soshiro chimed in, playing with a strand of your hair. "Told ya should've just stuck with the Third Division operation team."

"Please, don't pull me into this mess—"

"I SAID NO PDA, DAMN IT! SOMEONE GET HOSHINA OUT OF ARIAKE!"

Soshiro's grin widened as he asked, "Now, Captain Narumi. Which Hoshina are you talking about, hm?"

"I'M OBVIOUSLY TALKING ABOUT YOU, DAMN IT!"

You could see a vein bulging from Narumi's neck, how constipated he looked. He was even shaking with anger, eyes almost bulging out of his sockets. You'd let your husband continue bullying your superior officer in most cases, but you were still in the middle of a mission.

A mission that needed Hoshina [Name], the Operation Leader of the First Division of the Defense Force.

"All right, playtime's over," you interrupted, stealing back your communication device from Soshiro. Before he could add any more fuel to the fire (Narumi), you gently pushed him away with a small smile—clearly, you enjoyed the little show he gave you. "Vice Captain Hoshina, kindly step away from the operation table for Captain Narumi. We cannot afford distractions from today's mission any longer."

Soshiro just pouted, crossing his arms over his chest like you had just grounded him from his favourite pastime. "Eh? Don't tell me yer angry at yer husband, [Name]."

You shook your head, holding back a small chuckle at how cute Soshiro looked.

"Ha! You totally deserve that—"

"As for you, Captain Narumi," you quickly cut in, sending an alert to the man. "Shinomiya and Hibino seem to be struggling with the unexpected amount of yojus at the eastern side of the city. I've sent you their locations. Kindly assist them immediately, as Officer Hibino is currently banned from transforming."

Instantly, the playfulness in Narumi's face melted as he slicked his hair back. "Fine, fine, I'll help the rookies out. And afterwards, [Name]?"

You held in a resigned sigh. You could see the pointed stare Vice Captain Hasegawa was giving you through his drone camera. "You will be permitted to return to base ASAP. Rest assured, no one has touched the progress on your game in your office."

"Your damn husband better not have messed with it, or I'm having you run laps across the field."

"That's abuse of power, Captain Narumi," both you and Soshiro said at the same time, only with different tones. Soshiro, predictably, with a more bickering and teasing tone (though, you heard a twinge of protectiveness as well). As for you, well, you were all but ready to call it a day. Soshiro, better have dinner plans tonight, or else you'll have him sleeping on the couch for a week straight.

"SOMEONE KICK THAT DAMN MAN OUT OF THE ROOM ALREADY!"

wrote this before rereading the manga, so they might be out of character hehehe but i couldn't help not write this scenario since i've been imagining it for a while now </3

[fagus-sylvatica-beech-hedge]

dan likes the quirky, blond, colorfully dressed physical embodiment of boardgames whose name starts with the letter p I said oh I'm sure

[miedei]

Spencer obviously gets a little drunk everytime you let him into your bed, we've all known this. He gets overwhelmed with lust, and devotes his entire being to giving you pleasure.

But, being a little pussydrunk doesn't stop him from overflowing with affection, and he can't help himself from being all cutesy even while you're writhing against his light-green duvet.

Has your thighs slung over his shoulders, lower half of his face shining with slick. You can't help but whine at the sight of him, hips trying to buck under the weight of his right forearm slung over your stomach. He can't hold back, ready to dive back in, but not before cooing up at you sweetly, left hand snaking up the bed to intertwine your fingers with his.

Or you're straddling him, hips swivelling on autopilot as you're submerged in the rapture zapping up your spine. He's mesmerised by the sight, one hand smoothing up your side as the other trails up to smooth your hair back, cupping your face tenderly. Soft encouragements and declarations of devotion tumble from his lips, as if the two of you aren't on the brink of collapse.

Or you're being crowded into the sheets, your calves resting over his shoulders as he presses into you meanly. Your brain can't handle it, soft noises escaping your lips as your eyes flutter shut without your permission. That just won't do, he can't go without the eye contact he needs to make him feel even closer to you than he already is. Without moving his eyes from you, he turns his head, peppering soft kisses to the ankle hooked on his left shoulder, as he pleads for you to open your eyes in a low voice.

"Please, angel, just want to see your eyes. Love your eyes, love how you look at me, won't you look at me, honey?"

[amaditalks]

This is embarrassing. From the gushing about consciousness to the instant feminization to the assumption of an instant and reciprocal friendship with a machine, every letter of every word is a nail in the coffin of the idea of Dawkins as any sort of intellectual.

[aprilisadingusdongus]

This shits embarrassing, I’m not laughing here and no one is. Does this chick realize that if you are a hater or not a supporter of something or someone, you don’t just buy their merchandise to support them? I know I sure wouldn’t, her thinking she got the last laugh really annoys me