#|| about ||

[star-conqueror]

// Yellow Diamond, in less than 1 minute

[alabonshay]

// Lady Evergreen when she can't be horribly obnoxious to everyone she knows today because she doesn't know anybody

[kingofdisrepute]

brian zeller + text posts

[alabonshay]

// Humans can bite with a strength of about 160 psi, while some crocodiles can average anywhere between 2000-5000 psi.

The average dendie bites with a strength of about 1500 psi. Dendie matriarchs can bite quite possibly up to 10,000 psi and regularly enjoy grinding specially-flavored bones to splinters between their jaws, as a testament to their wealth.

Their teeth are incredibly durable, more than other bones (though eating materials like rock could still break them). The strength of their jaws correlates with the size of their necks, which is why matriarchs have an advantage. They are optimized for biting and chewing.

The Duchess might have the numbers, but the size of her tusks makes it too difficult to put her jaws around anything substantial. Meanwhile, the sweet-faced Lady Evergreen has a bite of about 5000 psi. She has a similar build on a smaller scale, making her far more deadly in practice, without the obstacle of heavy tusks.

[alabonshay]

// The problem with writing a historical character is they always seem more posh than they actually are if they attempt to follow some of the conventions of the time.

Currently, Evergreen is sitting in the parlor and describing various engines, and the experiences she had working with them. A servant brings you both refreshments.

Spiritually, she is sitting on a crappy sofa in her garage with a beer in her hand, telling you all about this sports car she’s tuning up. There is absolutely no difference in her intentions.

[alabonshay]

// Modern AU Lady Evergreen runs a gaming and film review channel with millions of subscribers under the name of Tuskers.

It's mostly anonymous voice-overs, sometimes animated with a little sona made from her logo. No one can figure out whether she actually has tusks or if she only sounds like she is talking around them for the bit. Her comment sections are flooded with memes about it.

Several years later, she drops a face reveal with the news that she is going to be the next Duchess Alabonsé. The comments are freaking out. She never posts again.

[alabonshay]

// All these threads with Lady Evergreen and she’s so busy fighting for her life and/or meeting people she can’t even talk about Sports, the number 1 thing occupying her brain, ranking even above cult-classic musicals, bad pick-up lines, and food.

Imagine how hard a gorilla could pitch a baseball. Now imagine that the gorilla is shorter and greener and has tusks. Someone needs to teach her a [Name of Planet] Game. It would boost her ego so much to be good at it.