#(rodrick)

[faeryeee]

not immune to propaganda bc this ship heals my inner child

[rodrickglazer]

Rodrick x Reader 

Thinking about his happy trail and body in general….

A/N: I reckon he's a teenage boy so he's kinda gross in general but god I still wanna let my hands roam all over

Nsfw content!! Also just description of stinky teen boy. Rodrick is 18/19 in this fic!!

✂️Rodrick is pretty unkempt 

✂️The only reason his room isn’t considered a biohazard zone is from Susan’s relentless pestering

✂️With the lack of care his room gets you can imagine how much care he puts into his body as well..

✂️It’s quite apparent the first time you see each other topless he doesn’t bother with shaving at all

✂️He likes to keep everything from his face to way down there all natural~

✂️When he starts growing facial hair, you get to work

✂️Plucking each individual hair from his chin becomes a good bonding activity for the both of you

✂️While he does whine every time a hair is pulled out, he likes being doted on by you

✂️

“Rodrick, stop moving.” You hold his chin as you lay atop him on his bed. One hand holding his face close while in the other an instrument of torture to Rodrick. Each hair plucked from his face lights his nerves on fire and brings him close to tears.

“It hurts! I don’t understand how chicks do this all the time.” You roll your eyes at the label of ‘chicks’ and proceed to pluck another stray hair as retaliation.

“Ow!” He winced again. 

“Rodrick, I swear to god if you move again I’m plucking your nose hairs.” He stilled immediately.

-

🧼Outside of grooming his face, you don’t really touch any other hair on his body

🧼A mention of how bad his armpits smelled(especially since he loved saving it for greg) got him to immediately start washing and shaving that area clean

🧼He already lucked out at life by getting a hot girlfriend, he didn’t want to risk it by being stinky and driving you away

🧼He also makes the effort to shower more often to smell good for you

🧼Going from a shocking twice a week to three times a week on the specific days he sees you

🧼It’s a work in progress

🧼

The summer heat had melted everything it touched. With the killing heat beating down on everyone, cooling down had become an issue. It was a Saturday, spending the day with Rodrick had become routine. However one thing prevented you from your usual cuddling.

“I am NOT coming anywhere near you right now Rodrick.” You held your breath to prevent gagging from the smell. It was clear Rodrick hadn’t showered in a few days. Usually, in the colder climate it wasn’t a huge issue. But as summer came it became a deadly time bomb, waiting to strike. 

“Babe, I'm sure it's not that bad.” Rodrick laughed nervously, sweat beading down his forehead. Lowering his head to his pits caused him to immediately gag away. His tongue gagging out of his mouth like he was trying to eject the scent from his nostrils. 

“Oh shit yeah-” He just nodded in agreement to your previous statement. Realizing how bad the situation was he locked himself in the bathroom out of embarrassment. Even with endless amounts of begging, Rodrick didn’t let you in until he felt he accomplished his mission of trying to smell better. At first, two sticks of deodorant were sacrificed to the pits of doom. When that didn’t work he tried shaving off all the hair that grew there, only avoiding cuts as he barely remembered a shaving lesson from Frank. After all that, he relented to the last resort he dreaded. A real shower….

A few knocks came through the door, it all seemed but muffled by the sound of running water from the other side.

“Rodrick, babe are you okay in there?” You hear the water stop and the curtains being drawn. A few moments later immerges Rodrick from a steamy shower in all his shirtless glory, with only a wet towel held around his waist.

“My lady, I have conquered the enemy of Sir Stinkerton. Am I finally worthy of your embrace?” He says with an exaggerated tone of royalty, giving you a deep royal bow. You giggle at his stupidity and offer him a hand like a proper lady.

“Well good sir, I think now I am unworthy to be in your embrace. Would you like to join me in another round to defeat our enemies?” Grabbing your hand, Rodrick looked up mischievously. Accepting your invitation and dragging you back into the bathroom for another shower. Maybe taking showers wasn't that bad after all, Rodrick thought. Maybe…

-

🫧Now onto the real fun part

🫧His happy trail…

🫧He never really paid attention to his own body until he started dating you

🫧He had heard that the ladies love a hairy guy because it meant that he was more manly

🫧So he never really bothered to shave down there

🫧You however, loved teasing him with it

🫧Trailing your fingers down slowly, following its path down to the real prize

🫧He gets all whiney when you tease him but he can’t do much to argue against it

🫧If you want to be really mean you pluck a few hairs to keep him in place

🫧

You walked your fingers down, following the trail of hair that grew there. It had been another day full of crazy heffley antics that were done in order to bring the family closer together. Of course being Rodrick’s girlfriend you were roped into it. While it was amusing to watch the family’s various dynamics with each other, you were lucky enough to convince Susan to let you sleepover due to how late it had gotten. With you in Rodrick’s room, you both promised to not make too much noise. 

Rodrick tried to ignore the attention you were giving to the lower half of his body, focusing instead on the phone in his hands but to no avail. Your hands trailed lower and lower, causing his cock to twitch slightly from the light touching. 

“Is somebody happy to see me?” You smiled, giving full attention to his crotch. Moving even lower now, your hands ghosted over the outline of his bulge through his sweatpants. It became even more enticing when it was evident he chose not to wear boxers. 

“Mmph..Yes…” He bit his lip as you continued to fondle him through his pants, holding back from moaning out loud. All that came out of his mouth were small whines, but you intended to change that. Closing in on his body, you started by leaving soft kisses from his chest down to his stomach. Giving extra care to the kisses that approached his stomach. Each kiss landed softly on his body, sending tingles up his spine as you went lower and lower. At this point, his phone had been thrown to the side to pay attention to his super hot girlfriend basically going down on him. 

Sliding his pants down, you let his cock out as you continued kissing downwards. Approaching the final prize, his cock twitched in anticipation. His hands gripped the sheets tightly from the light kisses you left on his balls. Your mouth hovers over his length, Rodrick shivers from the drop of spit you let land on it. Your hands start to work the spit around his dick, using a mixture of it and the precum that leaks from his tip to lubricate it. Once you deem your work to be done, your mouth completely envelops his tip and gives it a light suck.

“OoOH! Mmmph.” His hands are red from digging his nails into his palms, trying his best not to make too much noise. He definitely didn’t want his Mom walking in on this. He resorts to biting his lip again in an effort to prevent any more unexpected moans from coming out. After a quick warning glare, you continued on blowing your boyfriend. Your hands work at the base while you move your mouth up and down dick. After a good warm up, you finally decide it was time to pull out your finishing move.

Taking his dick out of your mouth for a short moment, you took a deep breath before going down again.

“What are you- ohh!” A breathless moan comes out of Rodrick’s mouth as he feels your throat start to envelop his cock inch by inch. He feels the tight, wet walls of your throat start to slightly squeeze around his intruding cock. Within a small amount of time, you worked your way to the base of him. The tip of his cock touching the back of your throat. The sensation causes you to gag. You tried to move off slightly but his hips stuttered up and a hand came to weave itself into your hair. You held onto his thighs as Rodrick fucked his dick up into your throat, with his hand holding you in place.

“S-shit babe, sorry you feel too good let me just-” With a few shallow thrusts up, you feel as he comes down your throat. Immediately releasing you from his grip and allowing you to move back up. As his cum fills your throat, you try your best to swallow as much to prevent choking on it. Releasing him from your mouth, a few dribbles of cum trailed out from your mouth. Rodrick watched as you used your tongue to lick up the remaining drops and swallow it down. He groans at the action, getting half hard at the unintentional sexy display you just put on.

“Uh, let me get you some water.” Rodrick says as he rushes to put on his pants and grab you a glass. You nod as he leaves the room and lay down to relax from the work just done. Coming back in, he hands you a refreshing glass of water that you gulp down, washing the taste of cum from your mouth. 

“Can I… Um return the favour?” Rodrick asks shyly, twiddling his fingers and looking at you with his brown puppy dog eyes. You shake your head and drag him into bed, too tired to deal with his shenanigans. 

“Maybe another day babe. I’m tired and you still kinda suck at giving head, but I'll teach you when I have the energy for it.”  Wrapping yourself around him, he buries his head into your chest as a soft apology and relaxes into your touch. 

The next morning you are surprised with breakfast in bed, pancakes drizzled in honey and waffles that were only slightly charred. It also came with a pretty cute server, but you only let him know that after he brought you your orange juice.

[noodlearg]

happy international women’s day!!!

[rosalie444]

Making Out in His Van

Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x reader

Content: You and Rodrick are at a parking lot in his van and start making out

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Words: 1.2k

Warnings: kinda smutty ;)

———

It was around 11pm on a breezy summer night when you and Rodrick decided to go out for a ride in his van and grab some snacks from the 7-Eleven store nearby his house. The two of you were just chilling in his room watching a lame movie when you both got bored and hungry, so you came up with the idea to get something to eat.

Mr. and Mrs. Heffley were still in the living room watching some romance movie which Mrs. Heffley so adored, but they barely noticed the both of you walking out the front door headed to Rodricks van. Not that they would mind that much either. Ever since you became Rodricks girlfriend you guys went out late at night quite often, so they got pretty much used to that.

Now, you were sitting sideways in the passenger seat wearing just your pyjamas and eating up the last of your fries. Your legs lay on top of rodricks lap while he slurps his blueberry slushie. Outside the car it was slightly windy and drizzling rain, though the temperature was still very nice and refreshing after such a long, warm summer day. The dimly lit parking lot was almost empty, except for like three other cars which were parked a little further away, giving you and Rodrick your own space without getting disturbed. A deftones song was lowly playing in the background, while the both of you savoured the snacks you so craved.

“Ugh, i needed that. That was deliciousss.“ You said finishing up your fries and taking a sip of your own cherry flavored slurpee.

“For real. I‘ve been dying for this again. I adore my moms cooking but I was in need of that burger.“ Rodrick responded in his typical tone with a low chuckle.

His one hand grabbed ahold of your thigh, caressing small circles over your clothed skin with his thumb. Meanwhile his other hand held his cold slushie which he was now slurping his last sip from. He set the empty cup down in the vans‘ cup holder between the two of you and leaned back n his seat. It was quiet for a moment, the only sound coming from you slurping your slurpee. He turned around to look at you and tried grabbing it out of your, now, cold hands. You backed away from him, not allowing him to get your slurpee.

“Please.“ He said. Hands on your thighs and leaned forward to be closer to you.

“Mm-mm“ You denied, with a slight grin on your face.

It‘s not like you didn‘t want to give him a taste of your slurpee but whenever you gave him something of your drink, he would drink EVERYTHING up really quick just to mess with you. So you‘ve learned that you won‘t be doing that again.

You were almost done drinking it when Rodrick abruptly snatched the frozen slushie from your grip. He was messing with you like always.

“Rodrick!”, you said while chuckling at his childish behavior. You were now sitting up straight, taking your legs off his lap. “Give it back.”

He just stared back at you with a teasing look in his eyes, drinking your slurpee. You tried grabbing it from his hands by leaning forward towards his seated posture, which made him lean back further. And of course he drank up the last bit of it.

“You’re an ass”, you told him with slightly narrowed eyes and a grin on your face. No matter how annoying he could be sometimes, you still loved how cute he always was whenever he was messing with you. Then you got up out of your seat and moved over to him to straddle his lap.

“I like this position. Should tease you more often”, he said lowly with a grin on his face. He stared into your eyes, hands brushing up and down your thighs and eventually gripping your hips.

“Oh really?”, you answered teasingly. Your bodies were pressed against eachother due to the lack of space between you and the steering wheel. His face was close to yours and you felt his warm breath brushing your face. His warm hands found its way to the sides of your face, holding gently onto your jaw and brushing your cheek with his thumb.

That’s when the gap between the two of you closed and your warm lips touched. It was gentle but very passionate and loving, making butterflies erupt in your stomach and warming up your entire body. Your hands found its way to the back of his head and gripped onto his dark brown hair, while his arms wrapped around your waist trying to pull you as close as possible. One of his hands moved back towards the back of your head, tangling his fingers into your soft hair. The kiss was slow at first but turned into something more lustfull really quick.

He lowly groaned against your mouth at the feeling of you pulling his hair and being this close to you. You felt his tongue slip into your mouth, making the kiss more intense and heated. Your arms were wrapped around his slim but still strong shoulders, causing the two of you to be chest-to-chest. You could feel his steady heartbeat, while the kiss turned into a sloppy and cherry-flavoured wet mess. In the background played the low music and the windows were starting to fog up, due to your warm bodies heating up the air inside the van. The makeout was hot and full of lust and passion, which made it very enjoyable and wanting it to never stop.

So that both of you could catch your breath, Rodrick moved his head towards your jaw, kissing it softly with his warm and plump lips. He grabbed a fistful of your hair, lightly pulling at it to make your head fall back, giving him more space to kiss down your neck. You enjoyed the feeling of his warm breath fanning down your chest and his sloppy kisses, as your back got pressed against the steering wheel.

But as nice as the moment might‘ve felt, you realized it was probably getting pretty late and you should start heading back home. You didn’t want Rodricks parents to worry where you guys were at for so long. You didn‘t want to leave yet, DEFINITELY not, but you also wanted to be respectful towards his parents. Besides, you could always just continue what you were doing in Rodricks room.

“Rodrick“, you spoke softly, still getting distracted by the touch of his lips and hands.

He didn‘t stop at first. He just responded with an “Hm?“, continuing to kiss and suck softly at your neck.

“Baby“, You said, grabbing the sides of his face with both your hands to make him look back up at you.“We should head back“.

His cheeks slightly flushed and his lips plump and pink. He looked at you trough half-lidded brown eyes and his dark hair was all messy from you grabbing and pulling at it. He looked so unbelievably adorable.

“Ugh, no“, he just responded with, letting his head fall back into the crook of your neck.

“We‘ll continue at home“, you spoke in almost a whisper. You pulled his face back to yours to give him a few slow and soft kisses on his lips. “Okay?“

“Mhm“, he said giving you a few more last kisses, before you got up out of his lap and climbed back into your own seat. When you fastened your seatbelt, Rodrick started the car, put his hand back on your thigh and drove the two of you back home, where this heated makeout would definitely be resumed.

———

@lumenmortis :)

[lustagel]

something that is so canon? loser! rodrick’s cool girlfriend being everybody’s favorite person in some way shape or form.

come on, rodrick is such a loser for you already. his heart thumping out of his chest at the smallest look of you even though you’ve been dating for so long. of course, everyone around him adores you!

manny loves to give you grabby hands when your even remotely close to him. he’ll babble and say your name so cutely until you give in and sit him on your hip. even when you’re even simply being mentioned he’s grinning and repeating your name.

greg who prefers you over his older brother. you’re always on his side and so so nice to him. always giving him a smile that makes him a bit dazed every time he sees you. so dazed that, him and his friends have developed a small crushes on you. all of them always waving when they see you so they get a smile. especially rowely who smiles the biggest and chirag who gives you the most unique compliments. you never hear but everytime chirag sees you and rodrick together, he always gives the slyest comments like, “if he has a chance with her, we all might not be doomed.”

rodrick’s band mates who say they hate you but deep down don’t. they hate that you can take him away from practice with just a simple call or text but you have to remember they’re losers just like your boyfriend so of course they droll all over you. always questioning how their leader got someone so pretty and they can’t.

susan adores you. there is never a day where she hasn’t complimented something about you when she sees you. asks you all the time to come do things with her that her boys won’t. shows you embarrassing photos of rodrick when he was younger and laughs at them with you. and yes, she has secretly thought about how cute your kids will be.

frank who always has this puzzled look on his face when he sees you because are you a robot secretly? how are you in love with rodrick of all people? always tenses up and gives you a sheepish smile when rodrick says something stupid, almost hoping you didn’t hear it and won’t leave him. wants you to stay forever so rodrick won’t throw anymore stupid parties.

[vxlelove]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Social Suicide જ⁀➴

a/n: I literally saw the same regina x rodrick post yesterday bro, quit stalking me. Anywaysies here you go🖤

Rodrick was....an interesting guy to date. He acted all popular and loved, but it was quite the opposite. When he started liking you in Freshman, it was painfully obvious. You had always had guys begging to be with you and kissing the ground you walked on..but this was different.

Rodrick was an awkward type of flirty. He would try impressing you, and you had to admit, it grew on you. Your friends thought he was some kind of specimen that snuck on to Earth. They found his band weird and that the music they played was putrid.

You thought otherwise.

You found his band admirable, and loved when he did stupid things to impress you. But when he finally asked you out after 3 years of liking you, with a classic box of chocolates and near to death roses, your friends were near. So you had to laugh in his face and call his display of love "pathetic."

It broke your heart when he blinked back tears and rushed away. You later stuck a note in his locker, apologizing and saying you'd love to go out with him. When he found it, he thought it was some kind of joke until you pulled him aside and said it to his face.

── ⊹ ࣪ ˖♡˖ ࣪ ⊹ ──

It's been a few weeks since that day.

You had sworn him to secrecy. "If you tell anyone other than your family, we can't do this anymore, k? My friends would exile me.." Rodrick pouted. "Seriously? Like...not even my bandmates to brag to?" You rolled your eyes "Absolutely not those... blabbermouths." You put in a kinder way.

He was practically obsessed with everything you did and had to be around you all the time. He always told his family about how cool you were, they started to think you were some tatted drug addict.

"Sweetie..?" his mom asked worriedly. "What's this girl's personality exactly? Is she a nice young lady..?" Rodrick hated these conversations, and frankly, didn't understand why they needed to happen.

"Maybe you should invite her for dinner...I want to meet this girl.."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever...I'll tell her.." Rodrick muttered.

── ⊹ ࣪ ˖♡˖ ࣪ ⊹ ──

You were so excited to meet his family. He'd told you so much about them (good and bad) and you wanted them to like you. You showed up dressed in a cute plad skirt and pink sweater. You walked in with flowers for his mom.

"One moment sweetie, I'll be right th-"

Everyones jaw dropped at the sight of you. This isn't the drug dealer sge was expecting. Once his brother, Greg, was forced to come down and meet you, his jaw dropped futher than anyone's. Rodrick with a girl like you...?

They all had to admit, you were FAR out of his league. Rodrick's dad cringed at anything stupid that Rodrick said or did. His brother was admiring your face, and his mom was just proud Rodrick finally got a girlfriend.

"Why'd you choose Rodrick, anyway? I mean he's-" Greg questioned but was then cut off, "Greg.." Susan warned.

His family was just as interesting as Rodrick was. Suddenly, you felt a little tug at your skirt. It was his youngest brother, Manny, saying hi. You giggled. His family adored how you treated Manny, especially his mother.

── ⊹ ࣪ ˖♡˖ ࣪ ⊹ ──

"I don't know if they liked me.." you whispered once outside on the porch with Rodrick. "You kidding? They loved you! They thought you were gonna have a mohawk and abunch of peircings.." You chuckled. He loved making you laugh. He always hated thinking about the future, but he wanted you to be in it.

He awkwardly held your hand and looked up at the stars. "So...can we tell the people at school about us yet..?" he begged. He just wanted to show you off, prove everyone wrong. "Not yet, okay Roddie?"

"Sure...

I'll wait.."

→𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

[ayvuhs]

Rodrick x Regina!Reader HCs

(not proofread!)

You're both juniors at North Shore High School

You're the most popular girl in school and are one of who people call the 'plastics'

The Plastics conist of you (the queen bee), Heather Hills (your right-hand girl and who knows everything about everyone), and Karen Smith (the dumb one)

And then there's Rodrick

You two met at Heather's birthday party (but in this timeline it didn't end in a disaster)

His band was performing horribly, yet you still found him charming

You wanted him, you got him

He fell for you instantly and you soon started dating

No one in school-except of course Heather and Karen-knew because dating someone like him is basically social suic!de

His family is shocked that he managed to pull the prettiest girl at school

You love his family; it's a nice break from your own rich lifestyle

At times, Mrs. Heffley may think you're a bit too mature for him and that you act a little slutty at times, she still sees you as her own daughter

I just know this man has opps and you don't have your Burn Book for no reason

You two love talking bad about anyone who hates on his band and immediatly put them in the pink notebook

Instead of him buying you stuff, it's almost always the other way around

He may buy you the occasional slushie or hot dog at the gas station, buts that's pretty much it

You buy him stuff for his band, little inside joke gifts, and skincare

You love doing your makeup on him and teaching him skincare

that's all for now!! i may make this a series soon <3

thank you so much for all the likes on my last post !! i love you all so much omggg

edit: 500+ notes is actually insane i appreciate each and every one of you with all my heart

other edit: WOAH WE REACHED 600 NOTES!!

another other edit: i took a break and came back to making history...

2.3k notes is insane what