who: @saffroninsilk
context: set after her conversations with prince rhys arryn and lady mariela egen, guinevere finds herself searching through her rooms, searching for a specific belonging which could be turned into evidence.
the chamber felt suffocating, the weight of its grandeur pressing in on guinevere like the closing of a tomb. she moved with frantic purpose, a woman unmoored, her golden hair tumbling loose from its intricate pins as she scattered brocade and silk across the stone floor. the chest before her, carved with roaring lions, gaped open, its contents laid bare in her search. the sound of the hymns in her apartments seemed only higher, only to mask the sounds of the searching and the conversations that would soon follow.
“leave,” she ordered, her voice sharp, cutting through the murmured concerns of the ladies-in-waiting. they hesitated only a moment before obeying, the rustle of skirts retreating into silence. only malee lingered, her presence unobtrusive, a quiet shadow against the rising tempest of unnerving surge of guinevere’s emotions.
when the door closed behind them, guinevere straightened, clutching a folded parchment she had unearthed from the depths of the chest. her breath hitched as she stared at it, her emerald eyes clouded with something too raw to name. “it must not be found,” she said at last, her voice trembling yet resolute. she held the letter out to malee, her hand unsteady, the page shaking in the dim light of the chamber. and for a moment, it were as though she prayed malee would be able to hide it somewhere, to ensure she would be able to look upon it once more. one more time, was all she would pray for.
“do you see this?” she asked, though she did not wait for an answer. “it is his hand. as though he knew... as though he knew it would be read long after his voice had been silenced.” her voice cracked, and she pressed a hand to her lips.
because as she looked upon malee's face and the crushing weight of reality set upon her, she knew; there was much risk in keeping it, for so little reward. what use was there in holding his hand close to her chest, as though it were him? it were unnerving, to see the princess of the west in such a way. with such a look in her eyes. “it were for jasper,” she continued, softer now, as though speaking to herself. she faltered, her shoulders trembling beneath the weight of her memories. jasper would need to forgive her.
she turned abruptly, her golden hair catching the firelight like a halo, and paced toward the window. the ocean stretched out beyond, an expanse of restless waves that seemed to mirror her turmoil. she spun back toward her companion, clutching the letter tightly to her chest as though it might burn her. as though she would burn for it.
“and if they find this... if they know i held it, kept it—what will they say? what will they do? a widow clutching her dead husband’s secrets like a shield—it will not matter what the truth is. they will twist it..” all she had left of him now; the man that had once taken her atop the world. for all their differences, for all their wrong, there was no denying the fact he singlehandedly pulled her to the surface of a dense, golden ocean. one in which she was drowning. she stepped forward, her hands shaking as she pressed the letter into malee’s hands. and suddenly, her hands were free. “i beseech you. i cannot bring it upon myself.”