Peter: hello husband dearest are you ready for our da
Elias: PETER what is that don’t come near me
Peter: Hm??
Elias: you smell horribly rank. What. what is it
Peter: Oh, is it--*pulls a handful of seaweed out of his coat pocket*
Elias: Why do you have--
Peter: Hm, no not that. Maybe....
Peter: *pulls a long kelp leaf, 5 different shells, a seagull skull, some bedraggled feathers, a fair amount of pocket sand, some cool rocks, a condom filled with tiny shells, a wrinkled hundred-pound note and an entire crab exoskeleton out of his pockets*
Elias:
Peter: Ah! I think I found it. Is it this two-week-old scallop I forgot about?
Elias: Yes. Disgusting. Get rid of it immediately
Peter: Okay :) *pries the shell open with his fingernails and slurps up the scallop*
Elias:
Elias: Th. this is a bit you’re doing. a joke. you’re. you’re doing a joke right now Peter right? You’re not actually going to--
Peter: *eats it*
Elias:
Elias: DIVORCE
Later, at the hospital:
Peter: worth it *pukes into a bag*
Nathaniel Lukas: but why tho
Peter: If you could’ve seen his face you would agree with me! *retching*
Nathaniel: ....what else is in your jacket
Peter: What? Oh nothing. absolutely nothing--WHY ARE YOU SHAKING IT
500 stale cockle shells, a whole lobster, 5 pounds of pocket sand, the ingredients of a killer seaweed salad and a still alive and spitting scallop: *bouncing across the floor*
Nathaniel:
Peter: listen,
