[5ner]

[mephistopheles]

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

[mephistopheles]

500 MILES?!?!?!

[mephistopheles]

this blows i shouldve taken the old town road to where the streets have no name. i cant believe i have to drive 500 miles. wait hang on i have to what.

[mephistopheles]

hallelujah im almost there! i walked across the bridge over troubled water and through the tunnel of love. i can see signs for paradise city which means im not far from funkytown! it’s been a long long time since i was there. anyway i don’t wanna linger here sooooo what do i do after i walk 500 miles

[mephistopheles]

FUCK this. FUCK this and FUCK your hotel. YOU wanna walk on and on and on then you can go your own way but IM heading back to my fast car and getting on the road again. fuuuuuck i’m exhausted and i literally need a place to stay the night and wait wait okay wait rant cancelled. some guys are telling me there’s no need to feel down 

[foxes-in-love]

[g4yr4t]

I love Doris and she is so cute but also she looks so much like Teddy Roosevelt sometimes that I can't help but laugh

[g4yr4t]

all I'm saying is that no one has ever seen them in the same room together

[venustapolis]

Lightning (Luigi Russolo, 1910)

[pangur-and-grim]

it's amazing that I got to see him on his first day of being alive. and now he's in my home, biting my foot!

[pangur-and-grim]

he was also fuzzy! here he is at 4 week old, fully furred:

then at 6 weeks, you can see his fur is thinning:

by 8 weeks, nudity had set in:

and by the time I brought him home, he was entirely a pink raw chicken:

after they lose the kitten coat, the adult coat starts growing in, but it can take up to 1.5 years! eventually, he will be as fluffy as his mom

[pangur-and-grim]

and then he stayed bald

[probuccalfat]

do not ever slander the beautiful goddess carbs around me

[probuccalfat]

“empty carbs” don’t you dare talk about her like that. you’re empty. how do you like that.

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Hey now.... I'm not empty anymore.... Not since eating these carbs! :)

[wizardshark]

hi yeah i know ive been on this medication for 8 years but i need-- yeah. yeah 3 more months please. I'll call you in 3 months to beg for 3 more months, thanks. Bye. Love you.

[useless-gay-trombone]

Im sorry but you need to come in person for a checkup to make sure you actually need the medication you’ve been taking for 8 years

[moldspace]

hungry critters

[smokingrozanov]

T shirt that says “I ❤️ getting laid” & then on the back it says “to REST” with a photo of a coffin + the name & phone number for a local cemetery. Please follow for more advertising ideas

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

I have a cursed thrift store DVD of Pan's Labyrinth that won't play anything past just after she escapes the pale man and crashes VLC media player at that point

[ollypuro]

Spells of Mistria: Caldarus' Blessing v0.16.5

001: Full Restore | 002: Summon Rain | 003: Growth | 004: Dragon's Breath

[transgenderer]

When I say "godspeed" (I say it a lot) I like to imagine I'm a member of a futurism religion that worships velocity above all else. Like its the standard well-wishing in my culture. Speedliness is next to godliness. Someday we'll catch him! And the closer we get the more he loves us

[vampishhat]

Squints

[vampishhat]

Screencap rendering practice

[duel-of-the-dolls]

Calico Critters Combat: Little Critter Families (Round 1)

Which set is the best?

Meerkat Family

Walnut Squirrel Family

Remaining time: 5 days 5 hours

[dreadwedge]

how pets are named

Holly -> Hollywood -> L.A. -> Los Angeles -> Angel -> Snow Angel -> Snowgirl -> Frosty the Snowgirl -> Frosty -> Ice Cream -> Soft Serve -> Little Softy -> Microsoft -> Microsoft Word -> MS Word -> Miss Word -> Miss W -> Mrs. Dubya -> Mrs. George W. Bush -> Mrs. Bush -> Mrs. Busch's Baked Beans -> Mrs. Beans -> Mrs. Mr. Bean -> Mistress Beans (in a British accent) -> Beans On Toast -> B.O.T. -> Bot -> Botulism -> Botulizzy -> Lizzy -> Big Lizzy -> Large Lizard -> L.L. -> LL Bean -> Mrs. Large Lizard Bean -> Mrs Large Lizard Beans On Toast W. Bush the Snowgirl -> Girl