may I humbly ask your thoughts on Lucien & Tamlin (pre series or after acowar)
i love lucien and tamlin's dynamic very much, especially as we get it in acotar—fraught and desperate, lucien absolutely frayed by fifty years of potential death and brimming with resentment of tamlin that andras was ultimately killed, tamlin so ashamed and dispirited that he can't bear to acknowledge the way he's let lucien everyone down but it bubbles up out of him in spits of anger he can't swallow down.
pre-acotar, i do think there was always a sense of hierarchy to their relationship—one that tamlin was uncomfortable with but lucien couldn't help but to uphold. (and if we want to make some tamcien fanon conjecture, i think they both clung to that pretense to push down any feelings they had for each other: he is my high lord; he is my emissary; this is nothing but the loyalty between such stations.) lucien not only came from autumn, where the power structure is absolute and immovable, but was also directly subject to beron's hatred, which made it all worse for him. beron undoubtedly looked for any excuse to punish lucien, so lucien had to be outwardly perfect while at court—deferential and smooth, unflappable and charming, always aware of his place. tamlin of course doesn't uphold those structures; he doesn't even have advisors when lucien comes to spring. but i don't think lucien would ever be able to shake that worldview after beron branded it into him, and in fact, i think it was maybe the one aspect of stability lucien could cling to when he lost his love and his family and his home all at once. tamlin was his high lord; he was tamlin's lesser. friends, yes. (more? we can hope.) but when push came to shove, when situations became stressful, lucien was always able to duck back down: he is my high lord, and i serve him.
post-acowar, i think lucien feels a lot of responsibility for and guilt about how tamlin has been faring. lucien was really the only one by tamlin's side when feyre was taken by rhys. he tried his damnedest to keep his high lord, his friend pieced together; he participated in the deal with hybern that he was no doubt reticent to participate in just in the hopes that tamlin would get feyre back and everything would be okay again. then they do get feyre back—and nothing is okay at all. tamlin is still scared and angry and those dark circles seem a permanent fixture under his eyes. there's tension between them because lucien resents how tamlin has been treating him and the position tamlin's choices have put them in. lucien can tell something is up with feyre, but god, he just wants everything to be okay. he wants tamlin back. more than that, though, he wants his mate. to do that, he has to make a choice: tamlin, who saved his life and can take care of himself, or elain, who he feels nestled beneath his ribs always and—as far as he knows, bolstered by feyre's lies—is being kept by those who could be harming her. he already lost one love of his life; he can't lose another. so he leaves with feyre for elain, and that feels absolutely no different than turning his back on tamlin.
and tamlin hates him for it.
as it stands now, lucien doesn't get his mate, doesn't get the secure sense of family feyre has, doesn't even get to live in the lands he lived his whole life in—and on top of it all, tamlin hates him. tamlin sees only betrayal in lucien's choice, and lucien knows that and feels the guilt of it eat at him constantly. yet as much as tamlin resents lucien, he can't blame anyone for his situation more than himself. he drove feyre away with his anger; he drove lucien away with his failings; he ruined his court like he always feared he his family always told him he would if he became high lord. so they're both just in this awful situation of desperately needing and wanting to reconcile other, but tamlin is so trapped by his own shame that he doesn't think he deserves help or forgiveness, and lucien's attempts to reach out to tamlin—who he loves, who failed him—can only get rebuffed so many times before the resentment he carries bubbles up and he retreats for a while. i so genuinely think they need to beat the fuck out of each other a little because they both need that physical outlet for their emotions and that will pave the way for them (lucien) to have a genuine conversation about their feelings. which will still be incredibly difficult for both of them. but at least there will be communication happening again!
