okay so…. Do you have any thoughts on Tamlin‘s relationship with his mother??
some thoughts have indeed been percolating about them ever since i reblogged this poem a few days ago:
tamlin whose mother seeks to protect him by quashing his “softer” more artistic instincts. her sweet son, her gentle son who cannot be so, not with a father like his, not with two brothers who would have torn him clean from her womb if they knew he would eventually show markers of being heir. no poetry. no lyricism. no sketching. pay attention—stop listening to the wind; it does not sing, and even if it did, you do not hear it. and young tamlin sets his jaw. his chest puffs. his fists ball tight. yes, he says. i do. because his brothers just roughed him up for the same thing. his claws poke out. his magic gusts from him. in that moment, she knows for certain what she had only suspected: tamlin is the heir to spring. and he is soft. and he will get eaten.
she loves her son. her sweet son. her gentle son. that’s why she strips him of it. that’s why she encourages him to swallow his emotions—all of them except his anger, which he can show because it makes him hard and tough and lordly. but that is never quite enough, so that’s why she nudges her husband towards sending him to the war bands once he’s of age. to toughen the boy, her husband sneers like he’s the one to have come up with the idea. to see him hearty and hale. it hurts her. it does. she loves her sweet, gentle son; she loves her memories of him with butterflies on every crook, of him fighting sleep beneath the willow to try to write out its song, of him shyly playing his first composition just for her. but she loves him so much that she does not wish to lose him, and so she lets him go.
tamlin loves his mom just as much. he tries not to listen to the wind; he tries not to think in verse and listen in meter. he puts all of himself into his training with his father’s war band. nothing works. nothing sticks. he is a beast but he is not beastly. they deride him and snicker at him and force him to perform all the most grueling tasks. which he does without complaint—but so much anger beneath. until one day he’s around a campfire and the males around him start a game: who can come up with the filthiest limericks? he does not engage. absolutely refuses. it’s his chance to bond, thrown to him by miach (renascence oc mentioned SORRY) after miach heard him unintentionally singing to himself while polishing armor, and he spits on it. because his mother would be appalled. it isn’t until three nights later when—completely out of the blue—he spits the hottest filthiest bars spring has ever known. there’s a lad, miach snorts. he pours tamlin some mead. tamlin knows companionship.
the more tamlin knows companionship, the better tamlin does in the war band. the other males aren’t any easier on him but they are more patient. more supportive. they only blanch for a few hours when he gets so frustrated as to shift into beast. then they begin strategizing on how best to use him. how best to weaponize him. the lad has brawn—the lad has might; he has no need for finesse. (this is where rhysand’s illyrian training later comes in because it’s his magic and shapeshifting that’s capitalized on, not his combat; this is also why rhysand assumes other courts’ legions are not as well-trained.) but the better tamlin does in the war band, the more disjointed from himself he feels.
all the more distant from his mother.
because the beast is a part of him, but it isn’t all he is. this anger mounts in him. it makes him formidable. it makes him fierce and vicious. and when he’s young, he’s so afraid it will become him. that he will forget the song of spring—forget that he ever loved it, forget why he came to hate hearing it. he thinks it’s just the nature of the beast—but really it’s the parts of himself he was forced to suffocate. then, at some point, the anger does become him. it nestles in like a seed in soil. it sprouts. it delves its roots deep. it barbs itself at others. his mother is proud of it, but he isn’t. he learns to be stoic. he learns to swallow his anger like his other emotions, but his anger has thorns. it never settles clean. it always tears back up and up and up. later, he’ll think it has it will become all he is. it will nearly destroy him.
but spring has a song. he has heard it since he was in the cradle. that song has never left him—and it insists upon rebirth.











