i feel...
weird.
the best way i can describe it is "normal." but i don't feel normal. i feel very far from normal.
i feel fake normal.
i'm performing, maybe. i'm performing being human, even to myself. maybe i've just started to become aware of it.
and i'm too clean. no, i'm not too clean. i don't know if i can be too "clean." this form, however, is too clean. it's not supposed to be this clean. and yet it is. strange.
everything i do is too intentional. i am too aware. and yet i am not aware enough.
i think i'm starting to lose what shattered sense of self i had. who am i? we? i don't know. i don't know what defines the self anymore. i don't think that i ever did.















