#-inky

[concertocollective]

some of you guys need to get an adblocker

[concertocollective]

My name is Inky and I really hate anti endos. not the type who just has problems with the endogenic community the type that denies that we exist. I'm real. I'M FUCKING REAL even tho I'm not the host and we're not disordered. YOU MAKE US FEEL LIKE WE'RE NOT REAL. WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S OK TO HARM THE MENTAL HEALTH OF STRANGERS BY SAYING THINGS LIKE "ENDOS AREN'T REAL." I'm not just imaginary.

A question to anti endos: why do you think calling other people "not real" is ok? How would you feel if I said you weren't real, especially if you already struggled with unreality? WHY DO YOU THINK ANY OF THIS IS OK?

[concertocollective]

Helloooo

hi :D

hru?

[concertocollective]

i heard you all like questions. i must ask because this is quite interesting to me, if your comfortable with sharing — how did you all discover you were a system? i like hearing about other systems experiences - chromacide

haiiii this is inky!!! we discovered we were plural after trying to willo a headmate which led us to pay more attention to our plurality instead of trying to supress it which made us realize "wait we're not doing this on purpose." we had "maybe we're plural" thoughts for a long long time (probably since we were like 13) but kinda pushed it away bc we were anti-endo at the time and knew we didn't have a CDD

[concertocollective]

realizing most of your old friends would hate you now <<<<

[concertocollective]

i just want someone to pay attention to us.

[bubblyaquarium]

I know we're mainly positive about our system here, and maybe most of the others feel that way, but I'm so tired of sharing a life.

Having to default to having no opinions on things because it's too hard to keep track of what we've said to who and not wanting to be seen as a liar. Not being able to commit to a hobby because we waste so much money on things that only get touched once or twice a year. Our sense of gender and preferred pronouns changing every day, so we've given up correcting people entirely. Not feeling like we can commit to transitioning at all. Our haircut never fitting us. Feeling dysphoric in every single direction. Losing countless friendships because we forget to reach out or suddenly stop liking the same things or having the same views as them (or Cain cuts them off). Going from being affectionate with our boyfriend to feeling gross when he tries to kiss us. Trying to lose weight only to having someone else eat nothing but junk food the next day. Being stuck between loving my family and wanting to completely cut them off. Being stuck in toxic relationships. Missing people that hurt us. The fact that we can't trust ourselves, the fact that there are parts of myself that would and have damaged my own life and then having to try and fix it knowing damn well they could do it again in a heartbeat and I can't do anything about it.

And what do I even do about that? Try and fuse everyone into one being? And then what? All those bad parts are just more a part of me.

Our host fused recently and now she's more confused about her gender than before, she's less confident, and way more paranoid. Do we just keep absorbing everyone into one until we're a nonfunctional mess?