#03242015

[jessy-delusions]

.//art artart

make yourself your definition of love and passion.

i know i made this blog to feature my art, that what i initially thought i was going to use this blog for, and soon i will post my art.

[jessy-delusions]

.//darkk

 since this blog is about some young woman’s mentality and psyche, let me tell you a bit about this lady’s day. today wasn't particularly a good or bad day. it was partially pleasant with a side of panic attacks and a bit of twinges of pain of my face, and my left arm and thigh.

last night, my father beat me. i suppose it was out of anger, i was scared, hurt, and feeling like shit. of course i felt degraded, but again i remind myself that i have lived in fear my whole life, i was beat with his fist and a solid pipe of an unknown material. i was struck three times on the forehead, twice on each eye and once on my left ear, i couldn't count the strikes on my arm or lower body, but all i could tell you was that it was hard to get into bed that night, not to mention the lack of sleep i had due to my pain and trauma. 

the tear-soaked teddy bear was the only thing keeping my warm, i eventually passed out from pain and shock and woke up a few hours later. 

as i embraced my stuffed bear i just wish i was in the arms of someone i’ve taken a fancy to recently. 

this morning i have done my schoolwork, i am home-schooled so the work was very easy and didn't take that long, i sat in the dark and tried to watch movies to lift my spirits. it helped. 

if you really want to find yourself in your own state of mind just spend a few hours alone in the DARK. you go insane but in a beautiful way, you are stripped down to the core of your very being and you are filled with emotion. so over zealous when i think about it.

my life may not be perfect. i know i need to remove myself from this toxic household. but i cant.

i suppose i’m a coward. i’m scared. i want to make people happy.

art art art art art ar ta rt art artartartartartrt.

in order to be happy, you need to acknowledge that sadness is sad, and overcoming sadness is happiness. if you're happy all the time, is that really happiness? 

[j-hyn]

There's no way I'm making it.