#1.3.2019

[ilsoffiodellabrezzamarina]

1.3.2019 12.35

☆Brezzamarina☆

[softsunlightvol6]

Anyone else really exited for Hoziers new album but at the same time doesn’t want it to come out? Because once it’s out, I know that I will only listen to these songs for months and soak their meaning in as if they were my air. I will love the heck out of that music! But also this feeling of waiting for something will be gone. And I’m kinda gonna miss that. It’s good to have something you can be excited for and knowing waiting is worth it.

[duhova-temnota]

magické momenty #11

kedykoľvek sa ma dotkneš tvojimi teplými rukami.

[nei-ning]

During a nap earlier today I had a dream where God’s son, not Jesus tho, was kidnapped or otherwise vanished. That son was still like a new born, wrapped in fabric. God was angry and he demanded this one younger man (me) to find the child or he would be punished. Middle part of the dream was so weird I don’t remember much but at the end of the dream God’s anger had only grown, turning sky black and some buildings had collapsed. It was like mild start to world’s end - kind of thing. This young man had found the baby and was now holding him in his arms while God bend down from sky to see the child.

He said with warning tone that if the child wouldn’t understand Him or recognize Him, this young man would be in trouble. There already had been some mention of punishment and it involved some paper with black weird marks on it. However this baby recognized God as his father and he instantly screamed and laughed, rubbing his cheek against God’s. This eased God’s anger and this young man dared to ask about his punishment and God reply that it would be mild one. But when God left it became clear this young man wouldn’t be punished at all. This man looked at young woman next to him after God left with his son and said; “I drew those 40 comic pages for nothing!” (they were about God trying to find his son and the end wasn’t so good in it) and this woman just replied that it wasn’t so bad thing after all. And the dream ended.

I have no idea what this means but I need to check number 40.

[prosy-days]

March 1, 2019 - Day 255

A lovely dinner before a show, we adorably all ended up getting the cod.

[shu-rooq]

طيب.

في إيه بقى؟ في إيه ف أم الأيام اللي مش باين لها عدلة دي. كل أما اظبطها من حتة تبظ من حتة تانية. افردها واحشر اللي بظ تتهبب من حتة مختلفة. أنا كنت بعمل الحاجات عشان نبقى أنا وجسمي وعقلي ووعيي عايمين على ماية واحدة. لكن أنا مش مبسوطة لأ دلوقتي. كل الحاجات اللي بحاول فيها بوصل حيطة سد واضطر ارجع واشوف مدخل تاني يمكن تظبط. هو الحقيقة أنا مش برجع، أنا بوصل عند الحيطة ولما الاقيها مسدودة بربع ع الأرض وافضل اعيط شوية، وبعد وصلة عياط وشحتفة محترمة بتنح وبعدين استوعب إنه معلش يا شرشر يا حبيبتي قومي ارجعي ونحاول ف سكة مختلفة. اقولك! وانتي راجعة اسمعي مزيكا وقال يعني بنستمتع والسر ف الرحلة وكدة.

أنا النهاردة كنت ف أقصى درجات البعد عن كل حاجة فيا. لا حاسة بجسمي ولا قادرة اوصله، ولا عارفة اعبر عن نفسي من خلال اي حاجة، ولا عارفة اتواصل مع اللي حواليا - اللي بحبهم وبنعمل حاجات بنحبها- ولا حتى عارقة اتبسط بحاجات حلوة عملتها لنفسي. شئ بائس وحزين. دب قطبي هائم في مجرة التبانة تحمله اللاجاذبية وفاقد تماما السيطرة على نفسه والتحكم ف حركته. شئ بائس وحزين والله.

ضروري ماعملش حاجة تاني مش متأكدة إني عايزة اعملها. ضروري مغصبش على نفسي واعمل أي حاجة مش عايزة اعملها. ضروري مضحكش على نفسي وقال يعني بشجعني بحاجات عشان اقوم واروح وابقى موجودة وانا ف الأصل مش موجودة، لأن جيس وات! كل الحاجات دي بتكدرني أكتر مش بتفرحني ولا حاجة، وبكره عيشتي زيادة والله.

[puregrief]

أنا مشفقة فشخ وحزينة فشخ ع الأطفال اللي هتجيبهم/جيبتهم.

[puregrief]

I can't afford to survive, not living, just fucking surviving!